Rules For My 16-Year Old This Summer

Motherhood is an evolution because as the kids change, we parents have to tweak our parenting skills to coincide with whatever stage they're in. For example, a few years ago I wrote a popular post entitled “6 Rules To Help The Teen & I This Summer”. My son is now a few weeks away from turning 16 and, despite his best efforts, was unable to secure either a job or even a volunteer opportunity this season, since most places won't even consider hiring anyone who's 15 (I'm sure there's a reason for this, but Hey Volunteer Organizations: This policy sucks! He's a great kid who would have been an asset to your nursing home, animal shelter, etc.). While I'm giddy that Junior is around this vacation, I've once again, had to adjust the parameters for his 10 weeks or so off since his level of maturity is far different than it was a few years ago. 

This is an image off Pixabay - it's not my teen.

So are are my original 6 Rules For My Teen, plus a few I've added to help my adolescent and I thrive while he's around:

1. You must tell me where you're going and check in with me periodically. Whereas before, I wanted to know your route, that's no longer necessary. You're almost 6' tall and know the whole child abduction drill. Still, I want to know what your ultimate destination is, whether it's the pizza parlor, friend's house, etc. 
   
   
2. You must respond on your cellphone when I call or text me back. When you were 13, the rule was you had to always have his cellphone on you (and charged) because you'd just gotten it. Now it's basically a part of your body. But you've got to answer and/or text back, otherwise, I worry. This, of course, implies that I won't pester you with questions, check-ins, etc. which I do not. 
   
   
3. You pay for the bulk of your entertainment. You get an allowance. Pay for your own excursions (to restaurants, waterparks, etc.). If you don't have the money, we'll work it out.
   
   
4. Figure out what you need and bring it. Water bottles, sunscreen, a swimsuit, towels – pack ahead of time and if you forget it, consider it a learning experience.
   
   
5. Your friends are welcome to come over, but there must be an “ending time” to their visits. A few years back, we had several kids who came in the morning and didn't leave until well into the night, despite being told what time their parents should pick them up. I love your friends, but the shear number of those open-ended visits threw the family off.
   
   
6. If you makes future plans, let us know about them. Summertime is still, to some degree, family time and we'd like to see him, especially on the weekends. We all have the Cozi Family Calendar app on our smartphones (it allows all parties to see and adjust the family calendar) so there should be no confusion about events that are coming up; these events include your own plans which are to be respected by your dad and me.
   

Additional rules for my soon-to-be 16 year-old:

7. We need to limit the larger friend gatherings. During the school year, you have upwards of 10 kids coming here on Friday nights. While I WANT THEM HERE, having such a large number of teens here a few times a week strains the family budget. Have one or two kids over a few times a week, but the larger hang-outs are still limited to once per week.
   
   
8. You've got to work around the house. Yes, your choreload has increased for the summer, of course, because you're around more; no, you're not getting a larger allowance for this. Some things you're just expected to do because you're part of the family. But there are a few projects we need done like painting the front door, de-cluttering the garage, etc. that that you're perfectly capable of doing – for an additional price. Similarly, you've agreed to give your sister music lessons which I LOVE because it's a time that you're having fun together without video. 
   
   
9. Sometimes, get yourself from place to place. I am not Uber. I don't mind driving you somewhere if I happen to be going in that direction, but the concept of “pick me up here and take me there” is not happening. If I'm in a good mood, I may assist with part of the journey, but our town is small, your pals are relatively close, and your legs work. Use them either to walk or pedal that wonderful adult bike we got you a few years back. Similarly, I am not your friends' taxi. If Mike wants to come over, let him find a way to do it – I'm not picking him up (and yes, I've had parents who work ask me if I can ferry their kids about). 
   
   
10. You are now responsible for his own pool badge, health club card, library card, etc. Mommy is not the keeper of these articles any more. It's time to carry a wallet with these cards in it along with cash for incidentals. 
    
    
11. Friends do not belong in your bedroom. Adolescence is a time of exploration. While your buddies friends are great, they're still teens and no one is going to try drugs or alcohol on my watch if I can help it. As for girls – there's no WAY they're setting foot in your bedroom! Our house is big enough where y'all can hang in the den. There's no reason for your hommies to explore other recreational rooms.
    
    
12. You can wait on your friends and clean up after they leave. This is part of hosting. Kid, you ask your friends what they want to drink and get it for them. I'll buy the snacks, but you serve. He also needs to clear dishes and vacuum the rug (for crumbs) once they leave. To your credit, as soon as the door closes on the last kid, you're on Clean Up Duty without any prompting from me. 
    
    

Parents, sure, a lot of these rules are common sense, however, putting them out there, discussing them ahead of time, means fewer arguments. Next year, when my son is driving, I'll drop some of guidelines because he won't need reminding and add others pertaining to the car. 

The car....oh Lord! Stay tuned, readers. More advice on teens coming up shortly as Junior gets his Permit. 

10 To-Dos Before School Starts

Okay, so the back-to-school commercials were out before the kids here in the Northeast were even OUT of school (and, by the way, Halloween merchandise has been in the stores around here for at least two weeks). But with tomorrow being August 1^st and many institutions of higher learning starting before Labor Day, it may be time to turn a tiny portion of our parental brains toward the first day of school because many things will not wait until that fateful day. 

 

So here are 10 suggestions of things you might want to handle on sooner rather than later:

1. Scheduling the kids yearly physicals and eye exams. If you haven't made an appointment with your pediatrician, you're behind the curve already! According to my doctor's office, phone calls started flooding in back in Spring, so bite the bullet and schedule one for your child today. I usually wait until Fall anyway so I can get the kids their flu shots with their physicals. Eye exams tend to be less pressing, so I never have trouble getting them in to see our beloved optometrist; the problem then becomes fitting the appointment in with the kids' busy schedules.
   
   
   
   
2. Check your school supplies closet/drawer/basket – whatever. I've wasted plenty of money buying supplies I already had (what am I gonna do with 50 Office Depot erasers). Make a list of what you already have so you can bring it when you go back-to-school shopping. 
   
   
   
   
3. Clean out last year's backpacks. In June, my children gleefully throw their backpacks into the closet and don't want to see them for the next two months. Sneak a peak and see if you can salvage any old supplies. I grab any notebooks containing blank paper and I use them for my writing and lists; pencils and pens go into pencil cups around the house; markers are placed in Ziploc bags for arts and crafts projects; and old smocks get washed for use next year. As for old, broken crayons, there are thousands of websites on the Web with ideas for how to re-use them (ThriftyFun is one), but even if you're not crafty, you can send them away to the Crazy Crayons where they'll be recycled and not wind up in landfills.  Oh, and if you need guidance on how to choose a backpack for the upcoming year, read this.
   
   
   
   
4. Inspect old backpacks and lunch sacks. I bought these reusable sandwich/snack bags (see below) at Walmart last year. They're washable and can be used from year to year. Similarly, unless a lunch sack has last year's favorite TV character or band, see if you can sell your kid on the concept of re-using it by updating, perhaps by letting them draw on it or adding a glue-on patch. Honestly, with my kids living in their backpacks throughout the school year, their old backpacks aren't usable from year to year, BUT they do make great library bags, gym bags, and can be hung in their rooms to hold stuffed animals, etc. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
5. Take look at their Fall clothes. In my area, it's HOT the first few weeks of school. No matter what the commercials on TV show, they do not need new sweaters on the first day of the academic year. Sure, I'll buy both kids new sneakers (because they ALWAYS need them) and will buy Diva one new shirt just to make her feel special, but otherwise, they're not getting new outfits unless they really, truly need them.
   
   
   
   
6. Make any before-chool purchases you need to. Sometimes you need to pre-order lunches and supplies. Check your school's website for information.
   
   
   
   
7. Send any musical instruments out for tune-ups (pun intended). My son plays the clarinet and every year we have it sent out for cleaning. That way it's pristine for Band in the Fall. Oh, and if your child will be starting to play an instrument, now is the time to shop around for the best rental price.
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
8. Document the Summer while it's fresh in your mind. If you're waaaay behind in your scrapbooking like I am, make a list of what the kids did this summer so you can remember when you finally do get around to ordering your photobooks (or doing it by hand like I do). It's too easy to forget the nuances of the Summer.
   
   
   
   
9. Stock up on anti-lice shampoo and/or conditioner.  Kids come back from camp with those critters and even if your kids haven't gone, there's ALWAYS a lice outbreak every fall. I swear by Fairy Tales conditioner! My daughter has long, lush hair and even when she was exposed to lice by a neighbor's kid who literally had bugs crawling in her hair, Diva never contracted it. Fairy Tales smells like amazing; it contains rosemary, citronella, tea tree, lemongrass, peppermint, sage. School nurses SWEAR by this stuff and so do I!
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
    
10. Stock up on clothes and footwear for next Summer. This stuff is on sale now to make way for Fall and Winter merchandise. If you have a sense of how much your child will grow over the course of the year (the Teen is a crapshoot), now is the time to buy flip flops and bathing suits in a bigger size.
    
    

And, of course, enjoy the rest of the Summer!  Your children will never be younger than they are now. All too soon, they'll be out on their own. Have fun with them while you can and cherish almost all the moments (because, let's face it, not all are rainbows and lollipops) with your kids.

Happy Rest Of Summer! 

Thanks for reading!

10 Signs That Spring IS Coming

I shoveled snow this morning...again...following another school Snow Day yesterday. New Jersey is a constant grey, my mood is a constantly sour, and when I asked a therapist friend how her patients who from suffer depression are doing, she said,

 “Nobody gets better in a Winter like this.” 

Still, with Daylight Savings Time robbing me of an hour of sleep (grrrrrr.....) I have to believe that Spring is just around the bend. And, after all, the “official” first day of Spring is coming on March 20^th. 

So here are 10 signs that the cold and snow will soon be a memory:

1. There are buds on the trees. Really. Look at the ends of branches and you'll see the teeniest little buds growing.
   
   
   
   
2. More birds are about. I haven't spotted the elusive Robin Red Breast yet, but based on the chattering my cat is doing in the window, there are a lot more of our feathered friends out there.
   
   
   
   
3. The numerous emails I'm getting reminding me to join the Town Pool.
   
   
    
   
4. The numerous reminders I'm getting to send the kids to Camp.
   
   
   
   
5. Days are getting longer so I'm looking at snow much longer. Grrrrr....
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. The emergence of jelly beans and other Easter goodies which must be hoarded the rest of the year.
   
   
   
   
7. Spring/Summer clothes in the stores. Okay, so they've been there since October, but now I'm actually thinking about wearing them.
   
   
   
   
8. People who only wear pants (as opposed to shorts) on the the coldest days of the year are back in shorts. They know something we don't know.
   
   
   
   
9. The sound of woodpeckers drumming. Woodpeckers drum in early spring as both a territorial announcement and as a part of spring courtship. You may hear them on chimney flues and drainpipes.
   
   
   
   
10. Winter drinks containing gingerbread and pumpkin are fading, to be replaced by ones containing coconut and pineapple. Yum!!!!

As I look over my stomach past the 10 pounds I've gained from stress and boredom eating this Winter, I can't wait until the trail at the local park has been plowed and I can again enjoy my walks around the lake. I'm ready to say “good-bye” to my comforting fireplace and put the heavy blankets away. I'm hopeful that the pollen won't be too bad this Spring so that my daughter and I won't suffer too much. And I'm looking forward to seeing the face of that first crocus pop up from the ground. You'll hear a “whoop” of joy from here, in the Garden State. 

For me, Spring can't come soon enough!

Which Tips & Life Hacks Worked For Me Last Year

Since I've just joined The Ultimate Blog Challenge which asks that you write every day for, I think, at least the next month, there will be a lot more material on this blog. That means I'd better get my tushy in gear finding life hacks, recipes, tips, etc. that I can actually recommend. 

I am always on the lookout for tips & life hacks that make things easier.  Life is too short to spend it reinventing the wheel!

Not to toot my own horn, but in looking over my posts last year,

I think these proved most valuable to the majority of readers.

10 Indoor Activities To Do With Kids – I'd forgotten how much snow we'd already had by the time I wrote this one. It's also nice to see the snow sculptures my daughter made last year.

A Lazy Mom's Guide To Winter Decorating – Next week I'll be ripping the Christmas stuff down and taking out some of my Winter stuff. This post offers a link to a great tutorial on making paper snowflakes.

How To Find Family-Friendly Trips InYour Area  – Based on the blast we recently had at The Turkey Hill Experience in which we learned how to make ice cream (review coming up), I'll be looking for more companies that offer tours. And now that money is especially tight, the tips offered in this post are even more appealing.

5 Ways To Prepare For Spring  – Assuming we survive what's being predicted as an upcoming Snowmageddon, these serve as good reminders on what needs to be done before Spring.

Mom's 'Must Dos' Before The Kids Get Out Of School – Again, a nice checklist of what needs to be done before the troops are out for Summer.

Posting information means I have to research that data and really think about what might be useful to other parents. This is stuff I talk about with the moms I meet as we try to figure out this parenting-gig. I hope some of these posts help you. And stay tuned – there's a lot more coming up this year!

How Was Your First Day Of School Without Kids?

 

Last night, the one before the kids went back to school, my husband asked, “Is this like Christmas Eve for you?” He's referring to the fact that I recently wrote about how I am DONE with Summer Vacation (to visit that post on Jersey Moms Blog, click here). I love my children, but I need to get stuff done without hearing, “MOM!” every time I sit down to do something.

No, last night was not like Christmas Eve. As anyone with school-age children knows, there's a lot of prep work to get kids ready for their first day. There are lunches to pack, snacks to prepare, forms which need to be filled out and placed in backpacks, supplies to send, etc. And, of course, Junior, who is starting high school, realized at the 11^th hour that he needed to get his 3-ring binder in order. Then I needed to make sure both kids were showered and had their clothes ready for the early-morning wake-up call.

After all that was done and everyone, including hubby, was asleep, I could not. Like a movie, every time I closed my eyes, I saw my kids, at various ages, flash before my eyes. I watched my son, who every day gets closer to leaving the nest, progress from kindergarten up to 9^th grade. I saw my daughter standing on the blacktop as Junior stood in line for first grade. Then I viewed her progress through pre-school up to 3^rd grade. Like an hourglass, I could feel the sands of time slipping through my fingers.

As I went downstairs to escape the movie playing in my head, I felt guilty. I've done quite a bit of complaining about the kids this Summer. I've played social director, taxi, maid, referee, tour guide, laundress, and many other roles throughout the hot months. I've honestly tried to give them a good vacation, despite their reluctance to go anywhere that would take them away from either a computer or television screen. I reviewed schoolwork with Lily (who has asked that she not be called Diva in any of my blogs anymore) to keep her sharp and encouraged Junior to keep up with his clarinet playing. And I did all that while trying to stay within our budget. Still, since my husband works late and I'm essentially a single mom during the week, I was stretched to my limit. I yelled waaaay too much, explaining to the kids how frustrated I was. As good as I was, I feel I could have been better. Wracked with so many thoughts, sleep did not come for more than 2 hours.

After getting them to school this morning, I thought I would miss them, but was so busy during the day that I barely did. People often wonder what I do during the day with both kids in school. Plenty! My house has many, many projects I could not do with kids underfoot. It, along with my sadly-neglected car, needs a thorough cleaning. Closets need to be organized, toys must be purged, the garage needs organizing, I'm woefully behind with scrapbooking, and there's so much writing to do since I write for four blogs.

Today, after they came home, there was a mountain of paperwork to be signed and initialed. Lily has gymnastics, dinner has to be made, and things made ready for the morning. Of course, Junior just handed me a list of supplies he needs by tomorrow, so I've got to figure out which store I'll visit tonight that won't have me waiting on line at the register for more than an hour.

 

Last night lacked the anticipation of Christmas Eve. But it did hold religious meaning. I am eternally grateful to The Almighty for giving me these children, these miraculous human beings who make my life so rich and drive me crazy in the process. They make me happy in ways I never could have imagined. Now, their growing gives me time to get things done I could not while they were here.

~~

Thanks for reading!   

5 Ways To Savor The Last Weeks Of Summer

Suck it up, Kids.  You're going!

As yet another Summer winds down, I'm in a last-minute dash to get some of my “Must-Dos” off my list. It's not going to be easy this week because Junior is down with a fever, but here's what's on my list and what you might want to do for the next two weeks before school starts:

1. Drag the kids to the pool as much as possible. Inevitably, the cool weather we're now having in the Northeast will subside and hot-hot weather will come back to this area, ironically enough, just as the town pool closes. Sure, the kids claim they're all “pooled out,” but once they see that “Closed For The Season” sign, they'll be wishing they'd gone more often.
   
   
2. See as many out-of-town friends as possible. Those are the people we won't be running into at the grocery store or local functions and we may not see them for quite a while once school begins.  Now is the time to have them visit.
   
   
    
   
   
    
3. Get the maximum use out of sandals, flip-flops and shorts. They won't be fitting the kids next year.
   
   
4. Sit out in the backyard and savor these warm evenings. It's already getting darker earlier in the evening and once school starts, there won't be any time to enjoy the lawn chairs and leaf-free grass. Do it now before you wind up packing the cushions and umbrella in for the Fall.
   
   
5. Greedily bite into the fruits of summer while they're still local. Watermelon, peaches, cherries, cantaloupe are especially delicious this season. Sure, I can get them “imported from Chile,” but why wait when they're harvested nearby?
   
   
    

The leaves are just beginning to turn colors and soon the pool bag will be put away and the backpacks taken out. Schedules will get tight as, once again, the seasons of our lives change. It's time to “seize the moment” and grab the last bits of Summer while we still can!

What are you going to do to savor the last moments of Summer? I'd really like to know! 

~~

Thanks for reading!  Enjoy the day!  

How To Make & Eat A Dutch Baby

As the Summer gradually winds down, I'm still crossing off items from my “Must Do This Summer” list. One of those is to take the kids for a Dutch Baby; they love the look of horror on their friends' faces when they brag that they ate a baby!  Now, for those of you who are cringing, a Dutch Baby is a delicious, pancake-crepe hybrid that is roughly the size of a football; it takes about 15 to 20 minutes to bake. The waitress at our local pancake house explained the process (and it is a process) of how to eat one:

1. Gasp at the sheer size of the dish.
2. Spread butter over the surface of the baby.
3. Squeeze a little lemon on it.
4. Sprinkle with some powdered sugar.
5. Dig in!

My kids, of course, forget the lemon, preferring to spread a lot of butter on the pancake and then dousing it with sugar. Because it's taken so long to make, they tend to savor the dish and, yes, my 8-year old daughter, has eaten an entire Dutch Baby.

 

While the kids prefer to go to our Original Pancake House for their babies, I have made them at home. Here's how to make two small Dutch Babies:

Ingredients:

• Two small oven-safe pans
• 4 eggs
• 1 tablespoon of granulated sugar
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 2/3 cup of flour
• 1 teaspoon of vanilla
• 2/3 cup of milk
• 2 tablespoons of butter for the pans or non-stick cooking spray
• lemon wedges, more butter, and powdered sugar to put on the finished product

Step 1: Preheat the oven to 350 F. Place about a tablespoon of butter into each pan and put them in the oven to melt the butter. The alternative is to spray non-stick spray all over the inside of the pans; you don't need to put the pans in the oven, but you still need to preheat it.

Step 2: In a large bowl, combine the eggs, vanilla, and milk and use a whisk to combine them.

Step 3: Gradually add in the flour, salt, and sugar until there are no lumps in the batter.

Step 4: If you've put pans in the oven to preheat them, take them out now. Divide the batter in half and pour it into each pan.

Step 5: Bake for 15 to 20 minutes until the edges are puffy and brown.

Step 6: Serve with butter, lemon, and powdered sugar.

This is one of those dishes you can make for special occasions and if you wanted to make it as a after-dinner dessert, add some ice cream. 

 

While I don't like to gush about food, it's really the 20 minutes waiting for the Dutch Baby in the restaurant that's special. I love taking my kids out for breakfast...and away from their video screens. My daughter giggles in anticipation of her baby as my son, who can easily eat two, challenges her to get through one. It's a great way to start the day and bond with my children.

~~

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10 Things To Do Before The Kids Go Back To School

Although no one, except retailers, wants to think about the end of Summer, it's only 7 weeks until my kids go back to school. And there's still SO MUCH to do! Here's a list of things you might want to accomplish before sending the minions off with their backpacks to another year of higher education:

1. Make a list of places/activities you want to see/do before the Summer ends. These are things you will regret if they're not done. For us, there are some water-parks we want to visit, friends we need to see, etc.  Try to end the Summer with no regrets!
   
   
2. Buy bathing suits and Summer-related items now, while they're on sale. Stores are busy stocking up for Fall and Winter and you can get some great buys now. I know Diva is going to be at least one size larger next year (all bets are out on the Teen who might wind up being 8' tall by the end of August), so buying bathing suits in a Large is a no-brainer. 
   
   
3. Take inventory of your in-house school supplies. It's time for me to empty out the old backpacks and put away any supplies the kids have sent home. Then I'll take stock so I can replenish our School Supply Cabinet in anticipation of the coming year.
   
   
4. Evaluate backpacks and lunch sacs to see if the kids will need new ones. By September, the stores will probably be low on both, so seize the moment!
   
   
5. Make sure you've gotten any necessary doctors' visits in. I dropped the ball on this one and now the kids aren't getting their physicals until the second week after school starts. That's not altogether bad, since they'll be able to get their flu shots at the same time.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. Make a list of the projects you plan to accomplish in the Fall after they're in school. Mine include some painting, re-grouting, and a Momvacation Day at the beach.
   
   
7. Send musical instruments in for tuning and cleaning.  Every year while we're on vacation, we send Junior's woodwind instrument in for regular maintenance.  This way, come that first band practice, he's ready to go.
   
   
8. Check school websites for deadlines. The deadline to order Diva's school supplies through the PTA is coming up. Thank goodness I checked the website! Also, Junior has packets he needs done before the first day of high school. Funny how he never mentioned those. Similarly, sports forms are usually due in sometime during the Summer.  Stay on top of this now, so you don't have a sidelined kid in the Fall.
   
   
9. Start filling out your calendar for the Fall/Winter. Putting Back-To-School nights, etc., on the schedule now means you won't forget them when things get hectic in early September. 
   
   
10. Download some free planners at http://www.productiveflourishing.com/free-planners. This site lists all kinds of planners including ones to help you blog, monthly planners, productivity jumpstarters, etc. They can help you with all kinds of projects.
    
    
    Summer is moving all too quickly! Continue to make memories now and plan for the upcoming months. Parenting is hectic enough – get ahead of the game NOW! 

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All “Pooled Out” Kids? Tough! Momma Gotta Swim!

Me...NOT!!!  What a lie!

So it's only been three weeks since school let out and my kids are already complaining that they're all “pooled out” and are sick of going to our town pools. Granted, they go at least once a week with their camp, however, there are two extraordinary pools in our fair city and we've only been there, as a family five times (I've been counting).

After many years of chasing one kid or another away from the deep end, they're finally at that enviable stage where they can go off on their own, within the confines of the limited pool grounds, and I can sit back and relax. They find friends or, if desperate enough, will actually play TOGETHER (something they do NOT do at home). I chat with people I only see during the Summer, read, write, and try to con myself to get my butt in the water and swim laps.

Convincing myself is the excruciating part. Once I'm in the water, I swim 12 laps. Okay, it's at a snail's pace, but at least I do it. The water is cool, the smell of chlorine refreshing and there's something delightful about kicking around, like a child, enjoying the pleasure of moving my legs through the water. I look around at the kids, splashing and having fun, and I am at peace. Again, once I'm actually IN the pool.

Sadly, I have deterred myself from swimming a few times for flimsy reasons. “I don't have enough time,” “the lap pool is too busy,” and “the kids will never be able to find me,” are some of the stupid excuses I've used. And I always regret not swimming. I've even given the kids passes on going because they're too “pooled out.”

Well, not today! Their dad is home and he's in a GO-GO-GO mood. While I usually loathe those moods, I'm taking advantage of it while the day is fairly young and we're hauling complaining, child tushies to the pool. I WILL get my rumpus in the water and I WILL HAVE A GOOD TIME.

Sometimes parents have to do what's right for themselves and the opinions of their children be damned. Today is one of those days! Suck it up, kids. Momma gotta swim! 

This looks more like me..except with a bathing suit top on...and without the hairy chest.

 ~~

Thank you for reading!   Please come back again.  I want to tell you about my - seriously - life-changing vacuum.  And NO, it's not a compensated post.  Wait until you hear about this thing!  

Travel Anxiety – 8 Ways To Help Your Child Deal With Going Away

 

 

A psychologist friend and I were talking about how her Summer is going. “I'm seeing a lot of kids with Travel Anxiety,” she said. Apparently, some kids get nervous about going on family vacations, even though the prospect is exciting and promises a fun time. It makes sense. Children may react to change and that includes leaving familiar surroundings to find adventure elsewhere. And even though his/her loved ones will be there, the process of traveling, whether by land or by sea, may prove stressful. So with plenty of Summer still ahead, how can you lessen Travel Anxiety in your child?

1. Get your kid involved in the vacation planning. If possible, allow them a voice in the destination. If that's not feasible, give them some say in the itinerary of things you'll do while you're away. Having some control over what they'll be doing, perhaps something as simple as going to a park with swings, etc., may help with the powerlessness they feel by the prospect of leaving their familiar environment. 
   
   
2. If you're going to a hotel, show them photos on the hotel's website of what their room might look like. Seeing where they're going to be so they can picture themselves in a new place can help lessen nervousness.  
   
   
    
   
   
3. Let them vent and help the child problem solve. Discuss with them what they might be afraid of. You can reassure them that, yes, there are bathrooms on the plane and that there are, in fact, french fries aplenty in South Dakota. If they want to take a stuffed animal on vacation, let them, although you may need to stipulate how large the animal can be. 
   
   
4. Build physical activities into your vacation and let your child know that you'll be doing them. Walking, bike riding, hiking, and playing ball on the beach are all great tension-reducing things that will benefit your child mentally, as well as physically. 
   
   
    
5. Give your child some stress-busting tools. Positive self-talk, for example,  mentally repeating a phrase such as “I'm a big kid, I'm can do this, and I am calm,” while breathing deeply may help. And speaking of breathing, one technique Diva and I use is called Visualize The Flower. We picture a rose, which can be any color, slowly opening. We breathe deep as we describe to each other what the flower looks like (my daughter favors a tie-die rose), how it's unfolding, and what it smells like (sometimes cotton candy is the fragrance). The breathing bonds and calms us both down; it's especially good for when you're stuck in traffic or when the plane is taking off.
   
   
6. Reward your child for being brave.  I go to our local dollar store and stock up on trinkets to reinforce good behavior.
   
   
    
   
   
7. Make sure your child stays hydrated and sticks to normal bedtime routines. Being tired and thirsty only contributes to stress. 
   
   
8. Remind them that once vacation ends, they'll be back in their own warm, comfy bed with stories to tell their friends.

Vacations are fun, but they can be unnerving, especially for children who are powerless over routines and destinations. Yes, you're busy packing and organizing, but helping your child deal with Travel Anxiety ahead of time will help everyone have a better time.

Oh, and Travel Anxiety isn't limited to kids.  If you, personally, have Trip Anxiety, click on this article  for some great tips on how to deal with travel.

Why We Should ALL Be Missing Mr. Rogers

For no particular reason today, I'm missing Mister. Rogers.  You know, that guy who dressed in a cardigan and used to have his own kids' show on PBS.  As I write this, in a discarded second grader's spiral notebook, I'm at the town pool.  Kids are screaming and splashing.  My daughter is out there somewhere, romping with her posse while my teenager is home, spouting gaming nonsense.  I am one of those mother's I'd always hoped to be - on the sidelines of the mayhem, at peace.  Yet for some reason, I can't get Fred Rogers off my mind.

I was never a fan of the man while he was alive.  My son passed on the Mister Rogers' Neighborhood show and the simplicity of it never appealed to me.  It was quaint, hokey, low-tech.  It reminded me of an old, musty Poconos retreat.  The show screamed OBSOLETE.  It wasn't until much, much later that I began to appreciate the brilliance of Mr. Rogers when his show was in reruns.   

My baby daughter, like her older brother, wasn't taken with Fred, but our new post-9/11 world, I saw his gentleness as a constant, soothing balm.  Unlike other kids' shows produced by conglomerates, his was simple, held together by someone who simply related to kids and did not seek to exploit them for a merchandising buck.  He modeled respect, clean living, self-acceptance.  And who, as parents, wouldn't want to take a trolley to an idyllic Land of Make Believe? 

Maybe here, at our town pool, I'm thinking of Fred because I'm surrounded by so many neighbors who are surreptitiously eying and judging each other based on their level of physical fitness, dress, where their kids are going for summer camp, and how expensive their summer vacations have, thus far, been.  I can picture Mr. Rogers, smiling, encouraging us to be who are are because we're special just the way we are. 

For those of you, like me, who miss Fred or want to know more about him, here are some links to his wisdom:

• The Immoral Minority (don't be put off by the title of the website) has this article listing 6 Amazing Facts About Mr. Rogers  
• CNN gives readers 15 Reasons Why Mr. Rogers Was The Best Neighbor Ever
• Good Reads lists a bunch of Fred's quotes here
• Mental Floss has this wonderful article by Benjamin Wagner entitled 46 Things I Learned Making Mister Rogers & Me (Wagner's documentary about Fred)

When being a mom (aka Manager Of Mayhem), gets to be too much, we can all take comfort in the calmness that was Mr. Rogers.  Now, pardon me.  I've got a trolley to catch.

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Thank you for reading!   Please visit my other blog, Mom's Crayon, too!

8 Hersheypark Tips From One Who Just Got Back

I recently posted 8 Tips To Make Your Themepark Visit More Fun (click here to read it) in which I mentioned that we were planning our annual pilgrimage to Hersheypark. Well, we just got back, so I thought I'd share some tips specific to that trip and that particular venue. Here they are:

1. Download the free Hersheypark app from Google's Play Store. It's worth the effort just for the ride wait times and show times alone. I referenced the app many times during the course of our trip, especially since my daughter loves the shows.
2. Before you buy tickets, Google “discount tickets for Hersheypark.” My husband did and somehow got a deal through the Boy Scouts that saved us $20 per ticket; in addition, whatever site he ordered them from made a donation to that organization.   Promo codes for this park are pretty common and you just might find a good deal. One year, we scored tickets through some medical convention that saved us a bundle as well.
3. Take a look at the Preview Plan for admission if you're going to be in Hershey for more than a day. We were able to enter the park at 7:30pm, the kids did all the major rides which were NOT crowded, and then we went back to The Boardwalk the next day plus the kids did the major rides all over again. By the time we left last night at 9:30pm, they were all “Hersheyed out” with no regrets over rides not ridden.
4. Go during the week and earlier in the season, rather than later. We've gone to this park at various times during the summer and this past week was the best! The park was never crowded, we actually got a spot in the shade at The Boardwalk, and even took advantage of discounted merchandise at some of the gift shops.
5. Bring snacks. Yes, there's a “no snack” policy, but Security checked out our backpacks and didn't blink at eye at the Ziploc bags of crackers I brought in.
6. Buy the Souvenir Cup and get refills. When the water bottles we'd brought in were empty (we'd forgotten to bring in empty ones you could refill), we purchased one of the cups and kept refilling it throughout the day with free ice and water plus a few iced teas for $.99 each. We kept our family of four hydrated all day for about $15 total.
7. See The LiveWire show which was really good and definitely the best show we saw there. The Slide Brigade, one of the traveling bands, was also well done. If at all possible, SKIP the Character Quiz Show! I've seen dumb shows in my life, but that one, in my humble opinion, was definitely the worst I have EVER seen. It was actually painful. 
8. Don't mention souvenirs to the kids until the end of the day. I made the mistake of telling Diva that she was on a $5 budget and all I heard all day was, “When am I gonna get a souvenir?” I should have known better.  Please learn from my stupidity!
   
   

   

   Why I go to Hersheypark - The Wave Pool

   
   

Anticipate that there will be meltdowns by various members of your party during the day. Diva had several, my son had one or two, and by 6pm, I was in the midst of my own. It really surprised the kids when Mommy wailed, “I wanna go home!” But we did it. We survived another trip to Hersheypark which, I honestly believe, is one of the cleanest, best-run parks in the U.S. Use my previous themepark tips and the ones above and have a great time at “The Sweetest Place On Earth.”

6 Games For Pool Fun Without Toys

My town has two awesome, affordable pools. The problem is, the kids are not allowed to bring toys into the large, main pool. That stinks! After they've place Marco Polo ad nauseum, they sometimes run out of games to play. So here are six alternatives:

1. Fetch (2 or more players) – Now, toys are not allowed, but goggles and hair accessories are. So one way we get around the rules is to use common permitted items that the kids can dive for, such as goggles (we even keep broken ones for this purpose), hair scrunchies, bracelets, etc. You throw one item and see which kid brings it to the surface first. Note: this can be played with one player if she competes against herself. To do this, time the player and see if she can beat her time in retrieving the object. 
   
   
2. Water Leapfrog (4 to 8 players) – Divide players into two teams. Each team is on opposite ends of the pool, standing in chest-high water with their legs spread apart. The last player has to dive and swim through the legs of his teammates and spread his legs. Then the next player goes. The team that reaches the other side of the pool first wins. 
   
   
3. What Time Is It Mr. Fox (3 or more players) – This is a variation of a game my son learned in preschool and it's awesome! One person is designated Mr. Fox and stands at the end of the pool while the rest of the players are on the other side. The kids call out, “What time is it Mr. Fox?” Then Mr. Fox says a time and the kids swim that number of strokes toward him. This goes on until Mr. Fox calls out, “Midnight!” Then all the kids swim back to the starting line while Mr. Fox tries to tag one. If Mr. Fox succeeds, that kid becomes the new Mr. Fox. 
   
   
4. Contests (2 or more players) – Which kid can dive into the pool: the furthest from the edge, make the smallest/largest splash, can do the funniest dive, can jump the highest into the pool, etc.
   
   
5. Sharks & Minnows (3 or more players) – One person is the Shark and stands in the deep end of the pool while the other players are on the side. The Shark yells “lunchtime” and the players standing on the side of the pool have 30 seconds to swim to the other side of the pool without being tagged. Anyone who is tagged has to join with the Shark and try to tag the remaining player(s). This goes on until either all of the kids are bored with playing or everyone has been tagged. 
   
   
6. Freeze (3 or more players) – Players gather in the shallow end of the pool with adults or bigger kids on their knees. Players define the physical boundaries of the game so that everyone can stand up. One person is It. At the signal, It has one minute to tag as many other players as possible. Once tagged, a player has to stand “frozen” and raise his hand. Before a frozen player can return to play, an unfrozen player must thaw him out by diving under water and swimming through his legs. A player can't be tagged as frozen while they're under water. At the end of the minute, count how many people It has frozen. Then choose another player to be It. Keep going until everyone gets a turn being It. The winner is the person who has frozen the most people while they were It.

Not being able to have have toys in the pool makes playing games hard, but not impossible. Use the activities above and challenge your kids to come up with even more variations of games they play on the playground. Most of all, remember to cheer the kids on and give positive feedback. This Summer, like all, is unique. Enjoy it! 

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Thanks for reading!  Please come back again soon!

6 Rules To Help The Teen & I This Summer

The loves of my life!

 As Summer Vacation begins next week, my thoughts are turning, ironically, to rules. Although my 13-year old son will be spending his mornings working as a Counselor-In-Training at our town's day camp, much of the rest of his days will be spent with his buddies. Sure, they'll spend a bit of time here and at their houses, but a good portion of his Summer will be spent out...in the wilds of our town...away from me....his mommy (Sob! Sob!). For my sanity, and his safety, he and I have agreed to the following Summer Rules:

1. He must tell me where he's going and check in with me periodically. No “walking the town” or hanging at the 7-Eleven. I should know his route, method of travel (on foot or bike), and destination.  Fortunately, Junior is really good at this.  Unfortunately, his friends can be a bit ditzy and he may get distracted. 
2. He must have his cellphone on him at all times. Said device must be ON, charged, and he's got to answer it. If I cannot reach him, with the understanding that I will not call him incessantly, I will search for him at his friends' houses and his usual hangouts. I will bring with me his loud, annoying little sister (who lives to torment him) and baby pictures of him; I will also have my hair in curlers and, possibly, cold cream on my face. In other words, if I cannot find him, I will hunt him down and embarrass the crackers out of him, all in the name of safety and love.
3. He is to pay for the bulk of his own entertainment. Last year, he expected me to be his bank account. Sure, I'll give him some money, but the bulk of his excursions will be funded by him. Now, dear Reader, before you feel sorry for the boy, I will tell you that the kid made a good amount of money umpiring for our local Little League and pulled in more income than I, his freelancer Mother, made all year. He can afford to bankroll his Summer.
4. He is to figure out and pack whatever he needs. Water bottles, sunscreen, a swimsuit, towels – these are for him to bring. I will not be reminding him or packing a backpack.
5. His friends are welcome to come over, but there must be an “ending time” to their visits. Last year, we had several kids who came in the morning and didn't leave until well into the night, despite being told what time their parents should pick them up. I love his friends, but the shear number of those open-ended visits threw the family off.
6. If he makes future plans, I must know about them. Summertime is still, to some degree, family time and we'd like to see him, especially on the weekends.

I know the kid needs his independence and that it's normal that he's going to want to spend time with his friends. And I know that hanging with Mommy and his little sister aren't that much fun. But I'm also aware that Junior is going off to college in a mere four years and that my time with him is precious and limited. Hopefully, the rules above will give us both balance and help to make the next two months fantastic.

Good-bye school! Hello Summer Vacation!

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Thank you for reading!  Please visit my other blog, Mom's Crayon, too!

What To Bring To The Pool This Summer

We went to a party yesterday at our town pool. The facility isn't “officially” open yet and I'm not in Summer Mode yet, so I struggled to think what to bring, especially since, obviously, my kids are at a different age than they were last year. So, while they're still at school and I have functioning brain cells, I thought I'd share my list of what to bring to the town pool this summer:

1. A pool bag. Sure, this is obvious, but what isn't is the fact that you don't have to go out and buy a fancy one. I've been using an old diaper bag that served me well when my kids were little. The inner compartment is insulated, so it's great for keeping things cool, if needed, and it has tons of compartments.  Plus, it has sentimental value:  one of the babies it helped with is getting ready for high school...(deep sigh)...
2. Goggles. My son cannot live without these and you never know when one of my son's or daughter's friends will need an extra pair. For that reason, I buy extras every time I see them on sale. Oh, and this is one of those items you don't want to skimp on since quality counts. The cheaper goggles tend to fall apart. Again, get the good ones when they're discounted.
3. Pool badges. I punch a hole in ours and stick them on a lanyard. If my teen needs his to go off on his own, I put his on a key ring so he can easily stick it to a shoelace worn around his neck.
4. Towels.
5. Sunscreen and bug spray. We use spray and stick sunscreen.  I learned yesterday that the bugs are biting mighty fierce this Summer, so I'll be packing either a spray bottle containing white vinegar diluted with water or real bug spray to keep those bloodsuckers at bay.
6. A ping pong ball. Silly, but our facility charges $.25 for a ball every time you play. It's cheaper to go to the Dollar Store and buy a pack of these for $1.
7. A blanket. Actually, I re-purpose my yoga mat for the kids to sit on at the pool. Chances are it'll be only my daughter and her friends this summer since the Teen is too cool to sit with Mommy. A yoga mat is easy to clean, has a little padding and rolls up compactly.
8. A folding chair. If I'm hauling kids, I'm going to be comfortable. Momma needs a chair.
9. A small cooler with a shoulder strap. This puppy gets packed with plenty of water on ice and ice Fla-Vor-Ice freezie pops which are not only great snacks, but add extra cooling power. I also bring fruit and cut up vegetables, not for them, but for me. One year I put on weight

   

   This type of cooler works well for excursions to the town pool.

   munching on the kids' snacks. I'm not doing that this year!
   
10. Playing cards and chalk. When Diva needs to dry off, she'll need something to do. A game of War or Spit or drawing on the sidewalk with chalk passes the time until she's dry.
11. A plastic grocery bag for wet suits.
12. Junk food. Yes, I tried to get my kids to eat “healthy” snacks at the pool. Know what happened? They passed on my snacks and wound up eating their friends' Pringles! I now back “healthier” stuff like pretzels and popcorn, but sometimes buy Pringles just so they won't “jump blanket” to someone else's camp. I also bring protein bars which fill up hungry teens.
13. Changes of clothes for everybody. Summertime means impromptu plans. If one of my kids decides to go home with a friend, he/she is going to need a change of clothes. Bring shirts, shorts, and don't forget the underwear!
14. Money. Once or twice a week, my troops are allowed to buy ice cream at the snack bar. $10 usually suffices.
15. A tennis or splash ball. Our pool also has a splash pad. Balls come in handy for games with friends.
16. A compact purse containing my essentials (driver's license, etc.) and my phone.
17. A small First Aid Kit. It's easy to scrape your foot on the bottom of our pool. Sure, the life guards have these, but sometimes it's easier to just give your kid a band aid than to have them limp to the First Aid Station like Tiny Tim. One year, Diva scraped herself so many times that the life guards knew her by name.

Making a list now means less work when I'm distracted trying to rally my troops to go to the pool. It also means that I'm happily getting ready for the school year to end and am getting excited to  spend time with my rapidly-growing-up children. Let Summer Vacation begin!