8 Tips For Surviving Your School's Fair

This evening, I'm sitting in a lawn chair parked in front of my daughter's elementary school. After seven hours of being cooped up learning on this lovely Summer day, she sprinted back to school for this, the event of all events, The Spring Fair. This annual gathering promises an evening of delight complete with inflatables (water and dry), a tiny train, carnival games, crafts, and the opportunity to cavort with her friends.

I'm less enthusiastic. Because she is my second child, it's my 10^th year at this fair and they haven't changed the line-up in all of those years. So as I sit in my chair, let me share

8 Tips For Surviving Your School's Spring Fair

1.  Review With Your Child That They Are ONLY To Go Home With You (or whomever you designate). Our community is pretty safe, but I don't want Diva thinking that if she can't find me she can leave with someone else. Stress this before you even GET to the venue. 

2.  Prepay if you can. I ordered armbands the day they were announced. Kids are so excited by the prospect of fun, fun, fun that all they want to do is run off. Save yourself trying to find exact change with a hyper child by your side, grab a pre-paid armband, and set your kid free. 

3.  Set Up A Base Camp So They Can Find You.  If your child is old enough that you don't have to follow them, set up a base camp, preferably near some sort of reference point like a big rock, tree, bush, window, etc. Tell the kid where you're going to be and stress that they MUST check in periodically. They'll have to anyway if they want to buy food.

4.  Bring Cash.  Don't kid yourself that you're going to get away without buying anything at this event. Sure, you can bring all the organic, GMO-free stuff you want, but all that will happen is that your child will either A) wind up staring at his friends who are eating pizza or B) begging their friends or you for the crap they're serving. Bring water and maybe a snack or two, but resign yourself to the fact that you WILL be buying something. 

6.  Sit AWAY From The Loudspeakers.  For some reason, PTA people and school personnel don't like telling disc jockeys and entertainers that they're TOO FUCKING LOUD and that the noise level is GOING TO MAKE OUR KIDS HARD OF HEARING. Make your base camp away from the speakers and you can mitigate hearing loss for the both of you. You might even have a prayer of talking and listening to other parents.

7.  Be Prepared For A Tantrum When You Leave.  Understand that if you try to drag your kid away from the event before it officially ends, you're pitting yourself against a tired, wired-up kid who IS going to have a tantrum. Fortunately, it will probably be so loud there that no one will hear you arguing.

8.  Enjoy! The time is coming when you'll be dropping your kid off at an event and you won't get to see them having fun with their friends. Take some photos when they're not looking and remember how they look now. They'll only be this little once. 

We're home, and the Fair is now a memory. After being covered in foam and having her hair sprayed red and white, she's upstairs recuperating. Watching her have a blast was wonderful for me; I wouldn't have traded it for anything. Use these eight tips and you'll get through the Fair with a minimum of problems and, hopefully, a good amount of pleasure!

THANK YOU FOR READING! 

Yeah.  That's me...right....

10 Signs That Spring IS Coming

I shoveled snow this morning...again...following another school Snow Day yesterday. New Jersey is a constant grey, my mood is a constantly sour, and when I asked a therapist friend how her patients who from suffer depression are doing, she said,

 “Nobody gets better in a Winter like this.” 

Still, with Daylight Savings Time robbing me of an hour of sleep (grrrrrr.....) I have to believe that Spring is just around the bend. And, after all, the “official” first day of Spring is coming on March 20^th. 

So here are 10 signs that the cold and snow will soon be a memory:

1. There are buds on the trees. Really. Look at the ends of branches and you'll see the teeniest little buds growing.
   
   
   
   
2. More birds are about. I haven't spotted the elusive Robin Red Breast yet, but based on the chattering my cat is doing in the window, there are a lot more of our feathered friends out there.
   
   
   
   
3. The numerous emails I'm getting reminding me to join the Town Pool.
   
   
    
   
4. The numerous reminders I'm getting to send the kids to Camp.
   
   
   
   
5. Days are getting longer so I'm looking at snow much longer. Grrrrr....
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. The emergence of jelly beans and other Easter goodies which must be hoarded the rest of the year.
   
   
   
   
7. Spring/Summer clothes in the stores. Okay, so they've been there since October, but now I'm actually thinking about wearing them.
   
   
   
   
8. People who only wear pants (as opposed to shorts) on the the coldest days of the year are back in shorts. They know something we don't know.
   
   
   
   
9. The sound of woodpeckers drumming. Woodpeckers drum in early spring as both a territorial announcement and as a part of spring courtship. You may hear them on chimney flues and drainpipes.
   
   
   
   
10. Winter drinks containing gingerbread and pumpkin are fading, to be replaced by ones containing coconut and pineapple. Yum!!!!

As I look over my stomach past the 10 pounds I've gained from stress and boredom eating this Winter, I can't wait until the trail at the local park has been plowed and I can again enjoy my walks around the lake. I'm ready to say “good-bye” to my comforting fireplace and put the heavy blankets away. I'm hopeful that the pollen won't be too bad this Spring so that my daughter and I won't suffer too much. And I'm looking forward to seeing the face of that first crocus pop up from the ground. You'll hear a “whoop” of joy from here, in the Garden State. 

For me, Spring can't come soon enough!

6 Rules To Help The Teen & I This Summer

The loves of my life!

 As Summer Vacation begins next week, my thoughts are turning, ironically, to rules. Although my 13-year old son will be spending his mornings working as a Counselor-In-Training at our town's day camp, much of the rest of his days will be spent with his buddies. Sure, they'll spend a bit of time here and at their houses, but a good portion of his Summer will be spent out...in the wilds of our town...away from me....his mommy (Sob! Sob!). For my sanity, and his safety, he and I have agreed to the following Summer Rules:

1. He must tell me where he's going and check in with me periodically. No “walking the town” or hanging at the 7-Eleven. I should know his route, method of travel (on foot or bike), and destination.  Fortunately, Junior is really good at this.  Unfortunately, his friends can be a bit ditzy and he may get distracted. 
2. He must have his cellphone on him at all times. Said device must be ON, charged, and he's got to answer it. If I cannot reach him, with the understanding that I will not call him incessantly, I will search for him at his friends' houses and his usual hangouts. I will bring with me his loud, annoying little sister (who lives to torment him) and baby pictures of him; I will also have my hair in curlers and, possibly, cold cream on my face. In other words, if I cannot find him, I will hunt him down and embarrass the crackers out of him, all in the name of safety and love.
3. He is to pay for the bulk of his own entertainment. Last year, he expected me to be his bank account. Sure, I'll give him some money, but the bulk of his excursions will be funded by him. Now, dear Reader, before you feel sorry for the boy, I will tell you that the kid made a good amount of money umpiring for our local Little League and pulled in more income than I, his freelancer Mother, made all year. He can afford to bankroll his Summer.
4. He is to figure out and pack whatever he needs. Water bottles, sunscreen, a swimsuit, towels – these are for him to bring. I will not be reminding him or packing a backpack.
5. His friends are welcome to come over, but there must be an “ending time” to their visits. Last year, we had several kids who came in the morning and didn't leave until well into the night, despite being told what time their parents should pick them up. I love his friends, but the shear number of those open-ended visits threw the family off.
6. If he makes future plans, I must know about them. Summertime is still, to some degree, family time and we'd like to see him, especially on the weekends.

I know the kid needs his independence and that it's normal that he's going to want to spend time with his friends. And I know that hanging with Mommy and his little sister aren't that much fun. But I'm also aware that Junior is going off to college in a mere four years and that my time with him is precious and limited. Hopefully, the rules above will give us both balance and help to make the next two months fantastic.

Good-bye school! Hello Summer Vacation!

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Thank you for reading!  Please visit my other blog, Mom's Crayon, too!

The 5 Best Sprinklers To Keep Kids Cool

I am still mourning the demise of this toy!  RIP Mt. Tiki-Soki.

My kids are mad. We don't have a pool and, quite frankly, will not be getting one - ever - for a variety of reasons. So, unless someone drives them to the town pool this Summer, they'll be running their cute, little bodies through the lawn sprinklers after they get out of camp. 

A few years ago, I purchased a wonderful unit called Mount Tiki-Soki. It was a cute, volcano sprinkler with eyes that opened when the water pressure built up and the exploded, shooting water a good 6 feet up into the air. It was so much enjoyable that the neighbors made fun of me for going in it sans kids. We put beach balls onto that thing and watched them shoot into the air when the volcano exploded. Sadly, Mount Tiki-Soki died and Hasbro no longer makes it although you can get in on Ebay for $79 and up. Anyway, I've been looking for a fun, replacement ever since.

After asking around and doing my own research, here are my 5 picks for the best sprinklers for kids. Note that not all of them are toys, per se, but they, obviously, will get the wee folk wet. 

1.  Dramm 15076 ColorStorm Spinning Sprinkler – Found in the Patio section of Amazon, this unit works even with low water pressure and creates a fine mist which is perfect for kids. No, it's not a “wild” or “wacky” sprinkler, but it gets the kids saturated which is really all they care about anyway.

2.  Banzai Wiggling Water Sprinkler – This unit has 15 “water wiggles” or hoses which spray water all over. You control how wildly they wiggle based on the water pressure, so you can adjust it to be gentler with little kids. It attaches to any hose and is so easy, my 8-year old can set it up on her own. And the sprinkler extends about 8 feet, so it can get lots of kids wet at once.

Fire Hydrant Sprinkler

3.  Fire Hydrant Garden Hose Sprinkler – Almost as much fun as my sadly-missed Mount Tiki Soki, this little (8”) toy can shoot water as high as 15 feet, depending on your water pressure. Let the 

kids see if they can balance a beach ball on the spray (it actually can be done).

4.  Orbit 91594 Stainless Steel Ornamental Sprinkler – This unit comes in three lovely designs (butterfly, dragonfly or hummingbird) and is a wonderful sprinkler with coverage of up to 30 feet. It spins in a beautiful design with rings that rotate in opposite directions and even when it's not on, is attractive with its copper-plated finish. The fact that it's on a stand, means little kids will get rained on.

5.  SwimWays Hover Ball Sprinkler – This cool-looking sprinkler shoots water out of funnel-shaped fountain and spins a ball (there are several models using Disney and Marvel characters) in the air. It's an intriguing toy as long as your kids can share. The potential exists for one kid to run away with the ball which, obviously, would create fights. Otherwise, the Hover Ball Sprinkler is oodles of fun.

Orbit Sprinkler

There's much to be said for good, old-fashioned fun like kids running through the sprinklers set up on the family lawn. And let's face it, sprinklers are far less maintenance than swimming pools. As mad as my kids are now, I know that with any of the units above, they and their friends will have some wet fun this Summer!