What To Bring To A Marching Band Competition When You're A Spectator

My teenager decided to join the Marching Band this year and I'm thrilled! Not only is he having fun, but he's getting exercise, making new friends, is learning military-style discipline, and is using the $600 clarinet we bought him years ago. But the world of Marching Band, football games and competitions is new to me. If it's new to you, too, here's what I've learned:  

What To Bring To A Marching Band Competition When You're A Spectator

1. Cash – Schools do not take credit cards. Admission thus far has run the gamut from $8 per adult to $12 per adult with kids' rates much lower, so pack cash. Also, the Host Band usually sells snacks to raise funds for the band; it's always nice to buy a snack or two to support them.
   
   
   
   
2. Water And Food – Yes, I know I said to support the Host Band, but these competitions can get expensive! And the food they sell isn't always the most nutritious. I pack a bag with dinner (sandwiches, chicken nuggets), water, and dessert (apples, cheese, grapes). This way, my husband, daughter, and I are getting healthy food and if my daughter wants a snack later, at least she's had a good dinner. 
   
   
    
3. Stuff For Siblings To Do – Competitions can last many hours and the show doesn't always captivate younger viewers. Keep them entertained and ensure that YOU get to watch the show by bringing a coloring book and crayons, books, etc. 
   
   
   
   
4. A Blanket – The Northeast gets COLD in the fall and there's nothing like snuggling under a nice, warm blanket while you're watching the bands perform.
   
   
    
5. Stadium Cushions – I've talked to other band parents who are touting expensive stadium cushions complete with backs on them. As the person sitting behind those people, I can tell you that those seats hang over the bleachers and are a pain for the person behind you. I just ordered these cushions from Amazon and I expect they'll keep our tushies from turning into buttsickles.
    
   
   
6. Extra Warm Clothes - As I said, these events are LONG and temperatures drop.  Bring that extra sweatshirt, wear warm socks, and snuggle under the aforementioned blanket.
    
   

Obviously, it's important to remember your manners at Marching Band Competitions. 

Spectator Etiquette means:

• Support ALL of the bands, not just yours. Applaud and cheer when they do a good job (and applaud even if they don't – they're trying, after all).
  
  
• Don't leave or enter the stadium while a band is performing. It's disrespectful and distracting. 
  
  
• Avoid unnecessary talking during performances. Show some respect for the performers!
  
  
• Silence your cellphone or set it to vibrate and NEVER talk on your phone while a band is playing. It's just downright rude!
  
  
• Don't obstruct the view of others. Everyone wants to watch.
  
  
• Don't let younger children play in the stands or distract other spectators. If your child can't sit still or behave, take them to another area.  And remember that YOU'RE responsible for watching YOUR child.
  
  
• Support the Host Band financially (within reason) by visiting their concession stand.
  
  
  
  

Lastly, ENJOY THE SHOW! Each time I go to a competition, my breath is taken away not only by my son's band, but by the music, choreography, costumes, and flags! These kids put hours and hours into their performances. They work hard and as parents, we've worked hard to support them. These competitions and games are the fruition of their hard work and dedication.

ENJOY THE PAGEANTRY OF MARCHING BAND COMPETITIONS!

Have I missed something? Please comment! 

And as always, thank you for visiting my blog!

GeoZilla Allows Full Access To Your Family Whenever You're Not With Them

'Tis the season when many of us are giving our children cellphones for the first time. Along with this freedom, of course, comes our need to make sure they're okay (we giveth a little freedom, we taketh a bit back for peace of mind).   Most cellphone trackers drain batteries like crazy. And what use is a tracker if your phone is dead? 

 

Enter GeoZilla! 

 

This app uses battery-friendly location tracking methods (WiFi, cell towers, etc.) as it searches for the location of your kid, or anyone in your group, when YOU ask for it as opposed to constantly tracking the location.  This feature dramatically increases your battery's life since it's not constantly draining power.  You merely push the Refresh button on your app when you want to track your someone.  GeoZilla also integrates with Facebook and Swarm so you can find your family when they check-in on social media; this saves you the trouble of logging in to social media with your family member's account credentials. When they broadcast their location to their friends, you'll know!

 

What else do I like about GeoZilla? 

• You can receive a notification when someone arrives or leaves a certain area. So if your cocky 6th grader decides to detour to the local 7-11 when he's supposed to be at the library, you'll know! 
• You can see the battery status of your child and any others in your family group. That means that when my teen's battery is low (as it too often is), I can send him a message to plug in! 
• GeoZilla offers cross-platform location tracking, so you can share the family map with Android and IOS devices. 
•  It offers a delayed update which stores locations so you'll never miss their whereabouts. 
• You can send a request for your family's location to their GPS tracker so you'll always know where they are.
• You can chat free with your child or anyone in your group and share pics and video.
• You can leave check-ins to let people know you're okay and have arrived safely.  How helpful would that be on long trips!

In other words, GeoZilla allows your family to communicate, seamlessly, whenever you're not together!

 

Watch this YouTube video to learn more about GeoZilla:

 

~~~

I had the pleasure of asking Alex Sharov, GeoZilla's CEO and co-founder, a few questions:

Q: How did you get the idea for this app? 

 

Mr. Sharov: Since I travel a lot, I am always nervous not being near my daughter. She lives in Texas and is about to reach the age to have her personal cell phone (kids sure are getting older quicker these days). I wanted a way to know her location when I’m far away – to know she’s safe. The idea flourished when I met two developers and a marketer that were doing their own app exchanging geo-location side project for couples. My last jobs were building mobile apps, mostly in enterprise. So when pitching to the investor, WeRocks, he actually suggested we change the app to target families, kids first, not just couples. I connected with this right away. The main challenge of this project is giving children the feeling of parent’s presence and being aware of the events in their life, without the a parent breathing down their neck

Q: How old does a child need to be to use this app?

Mr. Sharov: Any kid that has a smartphone connected to the Internet would be perfect for this app, even if the kid does not open the app a single time. As to using this app by the kid himself, say, to see where the parents are, I’m not sure. It depends – my daughter is six and was comfortable freeing up ipad memory in the settings. I believe if all setup/sign up routine is done by the parents, kids 7 and up could easily use the app to see where his/her parents are. 

 

Q: Has this app been approached to track elderly adults as well?   

Mr. Sharov: Yes – the same way it's done with kids. 

 

Q: What modifications/improvements do you see to this app in the future?
 

Mr. Sharov: We're currently working on things that would ease inner-family communication like: household to-do tasks -one can assign to another member while she 's in the place (or near it), where the task can be done. For example, "Pick up laundry " at  / you assign a place / .  The tasks are geo-based and the assignee is reminded when she passes by the needed place. A la "remember to pickup laundry."




Mr. Sharov went on to say:  

Actually with the app we aim to help build trustful relationships within the family, basing on safety and care. Just to avoid "Where are you?" messages.  But not on controlling and suspicions. In general we advise parents to talk with children about why they want to install the app instead of installing it without their consent or secretly.  


~~~

Following its soft-launch for Android and iOS, the UK-based company received $450K in seed investment fromWeRocks and Angel Investors.  Special thanks to Alex Sharov for granting me this interview.

Mr. Sharov and, I'll assume, a happy customer!

 

Thanks for reading!

What's YOUR TAKE On This Infographic On The Pros & Cons Of Media Device Usage?

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The Pros and Cons of Children's Media Device Usage - Brought To You By California Cryobank

What You MUST Know About Your Children's Friends And Why

Tis the season when children are finishing the school year and getting ready to embark on a summer full of activities and new friends. Of course, friendships are important and rewarding, but think about the powerful influence friends have over children. Undesirable behaviors and language are contagious as are concerns about body image and eating. Bullying can also rear its ugly head, even amongst “friends.” 

So here's what you need to know about your kid's peers and why:

1. How they behave when they're with your child.  
   Observe the interaction between the kids, especially when they think you're not watching or listening. One of my daughter's friends threatened to “tell your mom on you” when the child was at my house. This later turned into a bullying issue that manifested itself at school. Listen for inappropriate language and whether they try to get around your House Rules. (Note: You can also learn a lot about YOUR child when you listen to them play with their friends.)
   
   
   
   
   
   
2. Who their parents are. What are their parenting styles and values? Do they smoke or let their
   kids do things you wouldn't let your kid do (run wild in the neighborhood, watch/listen to inappropriate media, etc.)?
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. How they interact with you. Is the child polite and respectful of adults? Does the child have manners? I've had kids go into my refrigerator and start rummaging through, looking for a snack. Others have demanded food instead of asking. And one kid decided to swing off a curtain rod (she didn't come back here again). Remember that behaviors spread and, honestly, I have NO problem reprimanding a guest.
   
   
   
   
4. Who your child's friends' other friends are. You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. Do they hang out with snobby kids or an older, faster crowd?
   
   
   
   
5. What kind of student your child's friend is. If the friend is one who believes in working hard and getting their homework done, it can inspire your child to do their best, too. But, if the friend hates school and slacks off, that will also influence your kid. 
   
   
   
   
   
6. Whether there are other family members or visitors in the child's household that you need to be aware of. This is especially true if your kid is having a playdate or going over the other person's house. Are there older siblings who might exhibit inappropriate behavior? Is there a nanny who will be taking care of the kids? One mother didn't tell me that she wouldn't be home for a playdate and that the nanny would be taking care of the kids. Since I didn't know the nanny, I was not okay with that!
   
   

When in doubt about the friend's family, try to get to know them by staying for a playdate or asking about them. I invite parents to come and stay! I get to know them and they see that we don't have any drugs, firearms, etc. around the house. One woman told me she'd asked around before letting her son come to play. I thought that was BRILLIANT and praised her for it. 

Friends have a powerful influence over our kids. 

Children are exposed to new ideas, values, and behaviors as a result of those relationships. By knowing as much as possible about who our children are hanging with, we can protect and teach our children what WE value and what needs to be left behind.

Got Entitled Kids? Look In The Mirror Before You Blame Them

Yesterday, I parked two blocks away from school to pick up my daughter. I was running late and understood that the walk was my penalty for five extra minutes of seeing the DVRed finale of Mad Men. When I got to the front of the school, I was astonished to see a woman pull up in her massive 2015 Mercedes-Benz GL-Class SUV and park IN THE CROSSWALK. She was nonchalantly talking on her cellphone about her full-time nanny and how her tennis game had just gone. Apparently she didn't get the concept that 1) it's illegal to park in the crosswalk 2) she was blocking the visibility of kids and parents who would soon be in that crosswalk and compromising their safety 3) that was she was doing was just plain WRONG. 

We've all heard, and many have experienced, the behavior of “entitled kids” who feel they should reap rewards and gain benefits without doing anything to earn these things. Yet, I wonder how many of us realize those kids act this way because many of their parents act “entitled." These are individuals who don't feel that societal rules apply to them, ignore rules because they consider themselves above authority or don't obey rules because they know people who can fix any penalties they might incur.  I would also add that some older people consider themselves entitled merely because of their age. 

You've met these adults!  In addition to the example given above (bitch!), they are the people who:

• cut in line at the bank, grocery store, movie theater, department store, bus stop, etc.

• get their food faster than the rest of us in a restaurant because they complain loudly
  
  
• run their cars in the “no idling” zone at school

• let their kids run all over a restaurant without blinking an eye

• talk loudly and often use their phones in the movie theater
  
  
• send their kids to school in inappropriate clothes knowing that the principal won't do anything about it because he doesn't want to deal with them

• take up three extra seats on the train so their bloody diaper bag has a seat while you stand

• have free reign at a department store as their kids play under the racks of clothes
  
  
• drop their kids at the library and expect librarians to babysit the kids

I'm sure you could add to this list. So what can you do about these people besides gritting your teeth or letting these situations roll off your back (which, admittedly, is probably the healthiest option):

1. Call them on it, but only if you're sure it won't result in any danger to you. For example, a few weeks back when another parent parked in the crosswalk, I gently knocked on her window and explained that what she was doing was dangerous and that she COULD get a ticket for parking there. She probably blew off the “dangerous” part, but the prospect of getting a ticket perked her up. She hasn't parked there since. It's remotely possible that the perpetrator honestly doesn't know or realize that what they're doing is wrong.
   
   
2. Let an authority know. I've called the principal a few times when the same person kept her car idling in the “no idling” zone. He went out and spoke to the mother and is now monitoring the situation.  I've also called the police.  Okay, someone parked in a crosswalk isn't life-threatening, but it does pose a danger to the general public.  Dangerous situations should be reported.
   
   
3. Embarrass these people. No one likes to be embarrassed and when I see kids with free reign at a department store, I rather loudly say to my child, “See how kid is allowed to run around? It's dangerous because they could get hurt or taken. WE DON'T DO THAT.” Most entitled people are idiots and don't care, but you could impact one who does.
   
   

Correcting other people is always dicey at best, but for me, knowing that I tried to solve the problem makes my blood boil less. And if people don't like me for it, so be it. Who wants to be friends with people who consider themselves above the rest?

Oh, and a world to anyone who feels entitled because of race, economic status, or age: GET OVER YOURSELF! YOU'RE NO BETTER THAN THE REST OF US!

Note:  I'll resume calmer posts soon.  This piece was prompted no only by the woman in the SUV, but as I'm reading the book, Teaching Kids To Think.  Review coming up shortly.  

To My Teen, As You Come Of Age

In the Unitarian Universalist tradition, as with some of the major religions, there is a point in a child's life when their status changes within the organization.  Years of study, plus required Congregational and Community service, have been completed.  They are ready to be welcomed into the fold as adults.

In Unitarian Universalism, however, there is no dogma to be perpetuated.  Instead, the youth have been exposed, directly, to other religious traditions.  In 6th grade, they travel to Catholic churches, Buddhist temples, the Church Of The Latter Day Saints, and various Jewish temples; there, they hear, directly from participants, what those traditions believe.  UU kids are taught to decide FOR THEMSELVES, what truths to embrace.  And when they make their Coming Of Age, they stand before the Congregation and declare their Credo, or what they believe.  It's understood that they may have come to the conclusion that their is no Supreme Being or that the form they feel is right is different from what others believe.  It doesn't matter:  UU embraces believers and none believers alike.

Parents of new Coming Of Agers are encouraged to write a letter to their children explaining what they're proud of or disseminating "wisdom" we've accumulated.  Here is mine, written to my 14th year old when he made his Coming Of Age yesterday:


My Son,  

I knew you before anyone else. I felt your first kick, hiccup, and actually SAW your foot extend from my stomach. My voice was the first you heard as I sang to you in utero. Meeting you was the most extraordinary moment of my life. Finally – I was face-to-face with the being who had been in my tummy for 9 months!

Truth be told, Coming Of Age is no bit deal. You've been aging your whole life with each year bringing new surprises, challenges, and joys. It's been an honor being with you.

I want you to know that it's the JOURNEY through life that's important, not the destination, not even the milestones. Do your best, as I know you do. Value yourself and don't accept it when others try to invalidate the miracle that you are. Understand that you will make mistakes, have regrets, and learn from them. They're supposed to happen.

Don't be so hard on yourself. My love for you is ABSOLUTE, it is infinite.

You are THE MOST AMAZING PERSON I HAVE EVER MET. You are sweet, funny, creative, thoughtful, and so wise!

Life me, you have trouble enjoying life. We're always afraid of what's coming around the corner. What if, What if?, is always in the back of our heads. The only antidote to this that I've found is:

Be grateful. Every night, count your blessings, no matter how small and stupid. This process will help you see how lucky you are, even when life sucks.

I love you more than anyone else and I'm proud to be your mom.

Love,

Mom

~~~

Now I ask, dear reader, WHAT WOULD YOU WRITE AS YOUR CHILD COMES OF AGE?  WHAT WISDOM WOULD YOU IMPART?  

Mensch On A Bench - Another New, Commercial Holiday Tradition

“Elf-On-A-Shelf Mania” is in full swing and even though I'm already sick of the little smiling bastard, I was quite amused when I recently spotted the Jewish version of the Elf called Mensch On A Bench.

Mensch On A Bench - What a cutie!

In the Elf story, your elf sits somewhere in your house, watching your children and reporting back to Santa if the kids have been naughty or nice. If the kids touch the Elf to see if he/she is real or not, the magic leaves the elf and can only return if you sprinkle a little cinnamon beside them (source: www.elfontheshelf.com); apparently, cinnamon is like “vitamins” for the Elf and gets them back to the North Pole so they can be checked out by “North Pole E.R. Doctors” (I am NOT making this stuff up, but apparently someone does).

Both Elf-On-A-Shelf and the Mensch On A Bench watch over families, judging the behavior of the kids. 

Anyway, like Elf, the Mensch is “filled with holiday magic” and watches over children to see how they're behaving. Both have the power to affect how many presents are received. While the Elf flies back to Santa to tattle on the little ones, the Mensch stays up to watch over the menorah. If the children misbehave in his house, he will holds tightly onto the shamash candle and will not allow them any presents. However, while the Elf is untouchable, the Mensch is like a cuddly, old Jewish guy and is designed to be played with like any other doll.

The Mensch is adorable and especially popular with interfaith families who are always looking to teach old traditions while starting new ones. And the book that comes with the Mensch tells the story of Hanukkah in a heartwarming way with sweet, vivid illustrations. 

 

The problem I have with the Mensch is the “holiday magic” part. For years, I have heard predominately Jewish kids in my town taunt my children, flat out saying that their parents have told them that “Santa is just a myth that Christian parents tell their kids.” Now it seems that those same families are embracing the concept of “holiday magic” and telling their pint-sized skeptics that it's okay to believe in magical beings. If it was a “lie” before told by Christian parents, why is the Mensch a “truth” now that it's being perpetuated by some Jewish ones?   How would they feel if my kids told theirs that the Mensch isn't magic?  

Why was the concept of holiday magic a "lie" before, but it's okay now that's it's being embraced by some Jewish families?  How would they feel if my kids told theirs that the Mensch isn't magic? 

Being in an interfaith marriage and raising our children both faiths (under the umbrella of the Unitarian Universalist Church), my Jewish husband wisely bows his head and sends the kids to me for all-things Santa. He's always known that holiday magic is real and should never be tampered with. Honestly, I don't like any character, magical or not, that stands to judge whether my kids are “naughty” or “nice” - all kids are good; it is their behaviors and decisions that are wrong or right. 

Now, having said this, we do have an Elf, mainly because an old family friend gave it to us. Rather than tattling, Seymour challenges my daughter to find him every morning, a total pain for me, but my little one loves it and while Seymour does fly to Santa, it's more to check in than check up on my kids.

Will we be getting the Mensch? There's no reason to. My kids know the story and traditions associated with Chanukah. They take pride in lighting the menorah every year and are proud of their Jewish heritage. The Mensch is just another commercial way for a company to make money off the “competition” between Chanukah and Christmas. It's another example of commercialism at its worst.

Maybe, rather than naughty or nice, the question for us, as adults, should be how much are we and our families succumbing to the commercialism of the season – whether in the name of Christianity, Judaism, or anything else? Elf-On-A-Shelf? Mensch On A Bench? They're both superfluous. 

10 No-Fail Holiday Gifts For Families Expecting An Adopted Child

As the mom of a luminous daughter who was born in China, I remember, during the adoption process, friends asking me what I needed for the baby. Lily was my second child, so I already had all the baby essentials (granted, in blue, because of my son), but I had the biggies: crib, car seat, stroller, etc.  I received some wonderful gifts, but in hindsight, there are things I didn't get that I really could have used.

One of these sweet girls is my own daughter, Lily!

So, in honor of National Adoption Month, here's my list of 10 items I wished I'd gotten when my precious, 11-month bundle of joy finally arrived home. 

Some are targeted toward Chinese adoption, but plenty are not, so scroll down and have fun!

1. “Miracle” Necklace – Sure, you can have your kid's name and birthdate inscribed on a necklace, but adoption is such a miracle, why not be reminded of that fact? This necklace has the word written in English and Chinese. Lovely! Available here. 
   
   
   
   

   

   Just a reminder that adoption is a miracle!

   
   
   
   
2. A Gift Card To A Grocery Store That Delivers – When my daughter first came home and was adapting to her new world, it was sometimes hard to take her grocery shopping. I WISH I'd had a gift card to Peapod or some other grocery store that delivers, especially during the harsh Winter months when I had to schlep her outside. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. “We Don't Have To Look Alike To Be A Forever Family” Sweatshirt for kids – Sure, the new arrival could wear this, but what a wonderful present for an older sibling! This would have been perfect for my son who received questions from his friends like, “How can she be your sister when she doesn't look like you?” Available here.   

   

   Adoption brings a family together forever!

   
   
    
4. “Adoption Brings Love” Travel Mug – Perfect for any parent and/or grandparent and a reminder of what a blessing adoption is, this mug is practical as well as lovely. Available here. 
    
   
   
   
   
5. Serious Offers To Babysit And/Or Babysitting Coupons – Let me explain. I was SOOO tired when my daughter came home. We have no extended family and I had no support. How I wish I'd had offers to babysit! Sure, I could have asked my friends, but it would have been wonderful to receive these babysitting coupons. And they're free to print! 
    
   
   

   

   Yes I am!

    
   
   
6. “Yes, I Am Her Real Mother” Tote Bag – Over the years, I've gotten plenty of questions from adults and children alike about who my daughter's “real” mother is. Yes, she has a birth mother, but I am her real mother – the one who waited three years for her and thought of her every one of those days, the one who takes care of her and who loves her unconditionally. This tote bag not only answers the aforementioned question, but could spark discussions about what a “real” mother is to anyone. It's also a great reminder that one does not need to give birth to be a true mother. Find it here.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
7. Adoption Picture & Poetry Photo Gift Frame – We took plenty of photos of my daughter when she arrived, I made a scrapbook of her journey, framed her adoption announcement, etc., but this 8”x10” frame is unique. The poem by Joyce Boyce (“We waited so long for this special day...”) will speak to any adoptive parent and reminds your child how much they were wanted!  See it here. 
   
   
   
   
   
   

   

   What a great way to celebrate adoption!

   
   
   
   
   
   
8. “Adoption Is A Miracle” Ornament – Okay, so it's a Christmas ornament (and what a fantastic way to add the adoption element to your holiday tree), but really, this beautiful reminder of the miracle of adoption can be hung anyway. My daughter is proud to be adopted, but I'm thinking of ordering this just as a daily reminder of how truly blessed we have been by adoption. Find it here.
   
   
   
   

   

   Hang is from a chandelier, lamp or anywhere!

   
   
   
   
9. Adoption Memory Book Set – I made a scrapbook of my daughter's journey, from the moment we signed the “Intent To Adopt” document through her first six months home. It was perfect because when our social worker came for the routine follow-up visit and asked how Lily had been doing, I just whipped out the book and showed her. How nice it would have been, however, to have a book like this. I love the fact that you can use whichever pages you want (you don't have to use them all), the fact that you can order it for Domestic or International Adoption, and some of the pages which include: homeland facts, travel itineraries, trip details, etc. You can also customize the cover. Beautiful!
   
   
   
   

   

   A sweet reminder of how far your child came to find you!

   
   
    
10. Gotcha Day Cinch Sack – A parent or child can use this lovely reminder that an internationally adopted child spans two countries. Wonderful for Gotcha Day or any day! Find it here.

Yes, these would make great holiday gifts, but what's to stop you from buying them any time?  I wish I'd had this stuff!  

To read our adoption story, visit these two posts:

http://isithotinheremmm.blogspot.com/2013/11/happy-national-adoption-month.html

http://isithotinheremmm.blogspot.com/2013/11/our-daughter-comes-home-plus.html

Thanks for reading!

10 Things All Parents Of Teenage Boys Think

I remember the moment I became cognizant that my son was transforming into a teen. He was 12 years old and we were talking just before he went to bed. “Mom,” he said, “why do I sometimes feel like crying?” My heart jumped, both because I was honored I was that he could confide in me and because I knew that puberty was changing him even as we spoke. We talked about the hormones that were not only altering his body but causing the mood swings that he was already having. “Hormones are a bitch, huh?” he said. You have no idea, Kid. 

Hair on his legs? Where did this teen come from and where's my baby?

In the two years since that conversation, many things have changed for both him, and me, as the mother of a teenage boy. In sharing my reflections with other parents, we all seem to agree that at some point we've thought:

Boy! Does he smell! - Teen boys have a decidedly musky odor that parents of teens immediately recognize.  Get a bunch of them together, for a party or sleepover, and you may as well resign yourself to the fact that you're going to have to bring out the Lysol when they leave.

When did he get so hairy? - The leg hair, the armpit hair, and now the shade of a mustache he's growing. Where did this come from?!  Who is this teen?

When did my little “helper” become so lazy? - This child, who used to live to help me take care of his little sister, shovel snow, and was eager to take out the garbage now screams in terror at the thought of emptying out the dishwasher or bringing up the laundry.  I had heard that teens could be a bit inactive, but I've seen plants grow faster than this kid moves.

Is messy the new neat? - He was never a budding Felix Unger, but lately, I have to sort through three layers of sweatpants and t-shirts to find my teen's floor to vacuum it. Add to that literally dozens of empty seltzer bottles (he lives on the stuff) and he may as well be living in a pig sty. 

How is it that he's so much smarter than I ever was at this age? - I stopped helping him with math in 3^rd grade when the first hint that Mom was an idiot crept up. I stared at the symbols on his homework and they may as well have been Sumarian. Junior is incredibly intelligent and so computer savvy that I now go to him for tech support.

Man! Does he have an active social life! - Thanks to computers, the teen plays online, with his friends every night. Thanks to texting, he meets up with them after school at the drop of a hat. And thanks to his taxi (me), he's able to go places I was never able to because my family only had one car and my dad used it. Teenagers' opportunities for socialization are endless!

Could he be schizophrenic? - In a matter of a minute, I swear he switches through personalities (nice, cranky, apologetic, baby) like I change television channels.  I swear he channels Sybil Dorsett. 

When did he become so argumentative? The mild-mannnered kid who never challenged us, now does so constantly. Now that he's a teen, he butts heads with his dad nightly, something he NEVER did before. And if you look at him the wrong way, watch out!  He leads with an argument.

I am NOT looking forward to him becoming interested in girls. - If life is dramatic now, I can't even think about what it will be like when females come into the picture. When my teen starts showering on a regular basis, then I'll know it's happened.

Right now the teenage boy thinks girls are expensive and trouble.  I'm holding on to that.

Why is he growing up so fast and how can I make him stop? This weekend he's away for the first time. I'm not worried about him, I just miss him more than I ever imagined. I blinked and my baby is now a teenager. Life is going by waay too fast!

Still, as challenging as it is being the parent of a teen, adolescence is incredible to watch. My former baby is getting more and more independent every day and periodically demonstrates a maturity I still don't have. Similarly, I find myself digging down and finding the strength I never knew I had, but realize I NEED to muster, to gradually let go. Every day I am aware that he's slipping through my fingers and finding his own way. And now I am the one who sometimes feels like crying.

~~

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My 2014 Halloween Recap & Tale Of One Stupid Mommy (ME)

My tummy hurts, my head hurts, my Weight Watchers scale hurts. When my daughter wasn't looking, I ate EVERY SINCLE SNICKERS BAR from her Halloween stash last night. I have a Candy Hangover.

In hindsight, I was not the smartest puppy last night.

As I was unwrapping the bars, I knew they were bad. I'm aware of the dangers of sugar. I know I have to watch my diet. 

But Snickers is milk chocolate, nuts, and caramel – the tri-fecta of candy sin. 

And they taste SOOO good! Lily got distracted by some neighbors who were throwing a bonfire on their front lawn (Can you can hillbillies?) and my hand, on automatic pilot, started transferring the good stuff from her bag to the pillowcase I'd brought for overflow. She got so much candy, she has no idea what's missing.

So I took it. It's fair trade. She's taken some of my sanity. I took her candy. And now I'm paying for hit. Deservedly so.

In the rest of the Halloween Recap:

• As Junior was getting ready for his stint as a hitman, he realized that with his hair slicked back, he looked more like an FBI guy than Tony Soprano, so he went with it. He grabbed one of dad's old wallets and made up a pretend FBI ID. I was happier with the FBI than Mafia. I dropped him off at a friend's house and got a call later that they were playing poker for candy and the party had turned into a sleepover. His sleepy, cranky presence is due back at the house any time now.
  
  
• Lily trick-or-treated for an hour, with a hundred kids who'd been dropped off on my block, before she got bored. She then gave candy out for a bit before we went over a friend's for pizza where she did gymnastics all night. So she wore her $25 Wal-Mart costume for a grand total of 90 minutes. 
  
  
• Many of those kids were accompanied by parents who were walking around with wine in their coffee cups (Was I the only parent on the block sober?). Seriously? When did parental public drunkenness become part of Halloween?
  
  
  
  

  

  I deserve to be laughed at...

  
  
  
  
• A few kids who came to my door asked if I had “peanut-free, gluten-free” candy. No. This is not a store, Kid. You get what you get and don't get upset. Sort it out later and throw out what you can't eat. That's the way its been done for decades.
  
  
• While there were a lot of Frozen characters, I was delighted that none of the girls was sporting the harlot-style costumes of a few years back. I remember answering the door to see a budding Britany Spears who would not have looked out of place in the Red Light District. Her father was behind her beaming at his darling daughter's costume, looking more like a pimp than anything else. That was noticeably absent this year – thank God!
  
  
• The dominate candies this year were Snickers, Hershey Bars, Laffy Taffy, and Skittles. Baby Ruth and Butterfinger seem to have taken a nose dive in my neighborhood.
  
  
• The kids must have taken wrappers, etc. with them when they left. My street is wonderfully clean of all by leaves falling from the wind and rain swept trees.

And the best part  of Halloween for me was seeing my candy-crazed daughter dive, not into chocolate or taffy, but gleefully rip the top off a bag of dried apples someone had given her. Nice choice, Honey!

Pure candy sin!

Too bad Mommy wasn't smarter. This Candy Hangover I have? It's justified pain, caused by my own greed. But know what? I have a hunch I'll be doing it again next year. Because for just one night a year, the sweet release of candy, is okay.

~~~

After my tummy feels better, I'll begin writing my next post.  In the meantime, please click on a few of my sponsors, please.  Thanks!  

 

Yom Kippur Resources For Kids

Yom Kippur has values we can teach ALL children!

I remember the first, and ONLY, Yom Kippur service I ever attended. I had just begun dating my future husband and was still posturing for his mother, so I sat on one side of the temple with her while he sat with the other men. I remember the rabbi, in all of his vestments, repeatedly bowing (is that called berakhot?), literally reciting the phrase “we are nothing, we are guilty, we are bad” over and over. Now, I don't mind self-reflection and repentance (I'm Catholic, after all, and that's no walk in the park, either) but I felt somewhat suicidal after that service and vowed NEVER to go back again.

Now I'm 20+ years into marriage, we're raising our children Unitarian, and acknowledge their father's Jewish traditions. So how does one explain the concept of Yom Kippur to kids? Here are some resources for kids that won't scare or make them feel as awful as I did after that fateful service:

• If your kids need a quickie explanation of the holiday, click here. I love the fact that this page states that the Yom Kippur is “all about each individual Jewish person’s behavior” and our choices in taking a “good” or “bad” path.
  
  
• I actually learned something from this) site which lists a few prayers and, again, explains what Yom Kippur is about. Did you know that “on Yom Kippur we do not wear leather shoes, so put on your canvas or plastic sneakers or sandals.” I didn't! There's also a cool link which shows how a shofar is made. 
  
  
• Parents can visit this site for guidance on how to explain the holidays to their children. One phrase that caught my eye: “everybody makes mistakes, from the very young to the very old.” Yes! 

  

  Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur can have meaning for us all.

  
  

And you'll find some wonderful Yom Kippur crafts and more on these sites:

• How-To's for funky paper slippers and more are what you'll find here. I may have my husband make those with Lily tomorrow.
  
  
• Videos, crafts, coloring pages galore are one click away at this site.  It's supposed to rain tomorrow, so I have a hunch that Lily will be watching some of these videos.
  
  
• You want fun? Here it is!  Online games, crafts, greeting cards guarantee learning and enjoyment.

Yom Kippur seems to be about self-reflection and doing better next year, positive things that we can all benefit from. Teaching children to think about their actions and the repercussions is something that we, as parents, need to do to help our children become considerate and responsible adults. Even though my experience at my first Yom Kippur service was horrible, Jewish or not, I think Yom Kippur has meaning for us all.                                                                           

And if you celebrate Yom Kippur, I wish you an easy fast! 

Thank you for reading! 

Featured Photo credit: http://photopin.com/search/yom-kippur