10 No-Fail Holiday Gifts For Families Expecting An Adopted Child

As the mom of a luminous daughter who was born in China, I remember, during the adoption process, friends asking me what I needed for the baby. Lily was my second child, so I already had all the baby essentials (granted, in blue, because of my son), but I had the biggies: crib, car seat, stroller, etc.  I received some wonderful gifts, but in hindsight, there are things I didn't get that I really could have used.

One of these sweet girls is my own daughter, Lily!

So, in honor of National Adoption Month, here's my list of 10 items I wished I'd gotten when my precious, 11-month bundle of joy finally arrived home. 

Some are targeted toward Chinese adoption, but plenty are not, so scroll down and have fun!

1. “Miracle” Necklace – Sure, you can have your kid's name and birthdate inscribed on a necklace, but adoption is such a miracle, why not be reminded of that fact? This necklace has the word written in English and Chinese. Lovely! Available here. 
   
   
   
   

   

   Just a reminder that adoption is a miracle!

   
   
   
   
2. A Gift Card To A Grocery Store That Delivers – When my daughter first came home and was adapting to her new world, it was sometimes hard to take her grocery shopping. I WISH I'd had a gift card to Peapod or some other grocery store that delivers, especially during the harsh Winter months when I had to schlep her outside. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. “We Don't Have To Look Alike To Be A Forever Family” Sweatshirt for kids – Sure, the new arrival could wear this, but what a wonderful present for an older sibling! This would have been perfect for my son who received questions from his friends like, “How can she be your sister when she doesn't look like you?” Available here.   

   

   Adoption brings a family together forever!

   
   
    
4. “Adoption Brings Love” Travel Mug – Perfect for any parent and/or grandparent and a reminder of what a blessing adoption is, this mug is practical as well as lovely. Available here. 
    
   
   
   
   
5. Serious Offers To Babysit And/Or Babysitting Coupons – Let me explain. I was SOOO tired when my daughter came home. We have no extended family and I had no support. How I wish I'd had offers to babysit! Sure, I could have asked my friends, but it would have been wonderful to receive these babysitting coupons. And they're free to print! 
    
   
   

   

   Yes I am!

    
   
   
6. “Yes, I Am Her Real Mother” Tote Bag – Over the years, I've gotten plenty of questions from adults and children alike about who my daughter's “real” mother is. Yes, she has a birth mother, but I am her real mother – the one who waited three years for her and thought of her every one of those days, the one who takes care of her and who loves her unconditionally. This tote bag not only answers the aforementioned question, but could spark discussions about what a “real” mother is to anyone. It's also a great reminder that one does not need to give birth to be a true mother. Find it here.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
7. Adoption Picture & Poetry Photo Gift Frame – We took plenty of photos of my daughter when she arrived, I made a scrapbook of her journey, framed her adoption announcement, etc., but this 8”x10” frame is unique. The poem by Joyce Boyce (“We waited so long for this special day...”) will speak to any adoptive parent and reminds your child how much they were wanted!  See it here. 
   
   
   
   
   
   

   

   What a great way to celebrate adoption!

   
   
   
   
   
   
8. “Adoption Is A Miracle” Ornament – Okay, so it's a Christmas ornament (and what a fantastic way to add the adoption element to your holiday tree), but really, this beautiful reminder of the miracle of adoption can be hung anyway. My daughter is proud to be adopted, but I'm thinking of ordering this just as a daily reminder of how truly blessed we have been by adoption. Find it here.
   
   
   
   

   

   Hang is from a chandelier, lamp or anywhere!

   
   
   
   
9. Adoption Memory Book Set – I made a scrapbook of my daughter's journey, from the moment we signed the “Intent To Adopt” document through her first six months home. It was perfect because when our social worker came for the routine follow-up visit and asked how Lily had been doing, I just whipped out the book and showed her. How nice it would have been, however, to have a book like this. I love the fact that you can use whichever pages you want (you don't have to use them all), the fact that you can order it for Domestic or International Adoption, and some of the pages which include: homeland facts, travel itineraries, trip details, etc. You can also customize the cover. Beautiful!
   
   
   
   

   

   A sweet reminder of how far your child came to find you!

   
   
    
10. Gotcha Day Cinch Sack – A parent or child can use this lovely reminder that an internationally adopted child spans two countries. Wonderful for Gotcha Day or any day! Find it here.

Yes, these would make great holiday gifts, but what's to stop you from buying them any time?  I wish I'd had this stuff!  

To read our adoption story, visit these two posts:

http://isithotinheremmm.blogspot.com/2013/11/happy-national-adoption-month.html

http://isithotinheremmm.blogspot.com/2013/11/our-daughter-comes-home-plus.html

Thanks for reading!

Our Daughter Comes Home (Plus Recommended Sites For Adoption Gifts)

(Note: This is Post #2 in my series celebrating National Adoption Month. In my 11/1/13 entry, I discussed how my family's journey to international adoption began and how we received the news about my precious daughter.)

Once we got the call announcing our new baby, the weeks leading up to the journey to China flew by. After much discussion, my husband and I had decided that that he would be the one to bring our daughter due to several factors. The trip promised to be a complicated journey involving travel to different, remote areas of China. It would involve a lot of paperwork and require intense concentration. We needed the parent with the clearest head, who would be least tainted by emotion, to meet with government officials and be where our adoption agency needed without fail. There was no doubt that in this matter, Dave was the more focused of the two of us. At the same time, he is very nurturing and, since he was now becoming a dad for the second time, experienced at taking care of a baby. Plus, since I had given birth and, in a way, brought our son into our world, this was his unique opportunity to bring a new family member home. He was excited and ready for action!


Back in 2006, “Survivor” was the big show on television; it involved contestants facing challenges in remote areas of the world. My husband, in hindsight, called his trip to China “Survivor Nanchang” since Nanchang is the capital of the province in China that my daughter is from. The trip proved as arduous as he had anticipated, even though he was accompanied by several other CCAI (our adoption agency) families and the wonderful CCAI staff. Despite appropriate precautions regarding food and water, most of the travelers got sick. Of all the parents on the trip, he was the only one who went alone and he really rose to this Herculean task . But if Dave was stressed, consider my daughter!

Her world had been thrown completely upside down. Gone were the sights and sounds of the orphanage she had spent most of her early life in. Gone was her crib mate and the female caretakers she had known for the first months of her life. Instead, here was a strange man who sounded, looked, smelled, and felt different from anyone she had ever met before taking care of her. I have no doubt that she was in a state of shock. My husband carried this poor, confused little 11-month old from appointment to appointment, from place to place (they went from the town she was born in, to Nanchang, to Guangzhou where the U.S. Consulate in China is based), from hotel room to hotel room, and onto several airplanes before landing in the United States. By the time the twosome landed, they were both physically and emotionally exhausted.


In stark contrast, Junior and I were giddy. We were about to meet the person we had thought about, DREAMED about for three long years! We had missed Daddy so much and couldn't wait to meet our new family member.


Finally, I saw them: my tired, unshaven husband, carrying my 11-month old daughter. My DAUGHTER! She was wide awake and oh, so tiny!  She was wearing an opened onsie which showed her diaper. One sock was hanging off her toes. She clutched the only possession she had in the world, a bottle of formula with Chinese writing on the side. As our eyes locked, an immediate connection was formed. I cried as I kissed her for the first time. “I love you,” I said. “I love you so much!” “Meimei, wo ai ni,” Junior said, which means “I love you” in Mandarin. As I gently placed her in the waiting stroller, my son pushed me away. He had waited a long time to meet his sister. “She's mine now,” he said as he steered her through the airport. Our family, finally, complete, headed home. 

Over the weeks that followed, I was in the unique position of asking my husband for mothering advice since he had taken care of my daughter and I was still learning what she liked and disliked.  He had explained how much music soothed her on the trip, so I had played music for her constantly. My husband had told me that her favorite food in China was rice congee, a porridge that was a staple of her diet, so I made it. Apparently I made it poorly because she picked up the little plastic bowl and threw it at me. I thought it was funny that she liked the orphanage food more than mine. No worries. I held her, kissed her, sang to her, and tried to make up for lost time as mother and daughter bonded in a deep way that proved that:


blood is irrelevant, because when it comes to parenting, it's the love you share that counts.


Did I ever, in my wildest dreams, anticipate adopting a little girl from across the globe? No, but then I had never really wanted children until I was in my late 30s. My children are miracles, with origins as unique as they are. What's the same is how much I love them. There is absolutely NO difference in the amount of love I have for my son and daughter. They are each wired into my heart and soul.

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Adoption is a wondrous thing that should be, must be celebrated! My son and I had been a part of a playgroup that I found through the group Mothers & More (www.mothersandmore.org) since my son had been one year old. I had started the group 40+ for mothers who were over 40 and experiencing motherhood for the first time.; those amazing women were my best friends and they welcomed my daughter by throwing our whole family a baby shower. The best gift I received from anyone was a child's chair, painted by one of the 40+ members, and signed by all of them. It was hand-printed with my daughter's birth date, place of birth, etc. It was a unique gift from the hearts of women who had waited with me and now loved my new daughter.


The other really cool gift we received was from the airline that carried our adoption travel group back to the United States. It's a Barbie doll with Barbie as a stewardess; she carries a baby doll which looks to be Asian and the box says, “Welcome Home.” I don't know if the airlines still give it out, but it's an unopened keepsake in our house.


Looking for a gift to celebrate adoption is the same as looking for a gift celebrating the arrival of any baby. The twist, if it's an international adoption, is that you might want to look for a gift celebrating the child's country of origin as well. I think just going to a local paint-your-own-pottery place and inscribing the child's place of birth, place of adoption, etc. is really cool. Nevertheless, here are some of my favorite sites for adoption gifts:

• www.chinacharm.org – The non-profit adoption agency that helped bring my daughter home, CCAI, runs this online gift shop and it has a beautiful assortment of unique gifts that are reasonably-priced. The merchandise includes CDs, Chinese musical instruments, home décor items, clothing, and games and toys. I cannot recommend this site enough!
  
• www.adoptiongiftsshop.com – Although the amount of merchandise is limited, this store has some really unique “fun” stuff like mugs, drinking glasses, and water bottles in addition to the standard bumper stickers, jewelry, etc. I especially like their items which read “Love is stronger than blood.”
  
• cafepress.com/adoptionworld – Within the CafePress shop, lies a department called Adoption World which sells products that have been designed, I believe, by a woman who adopted several girls from China. Her merchandise is adorable and features hard-to-find items for those parents who are waiting for word about their adoptions. I love the mugs showing an arrow pointing to the map of China which read “Born in China, growing in my heart, and loved around the world.” They also have some great products which celebrate National Adoption Month.
  
• www.amazon.com – Yeah, I know. What doesn't Amazon sell? I have to mention them here, because when I was looking for Asian baby dolls (I want my daughter to be proud of her uniqueness), this was one of the few sites that carried them. Amazon still has the largest assortment of Asian dolls I've ever seen.

💞💞💞💞💞

Thanks for visiting !  Join me, won't you?

Happy National Adoption Month!

See these babies:

They were all born in China in 2005. For some reason, their birth parents could not or chose not to keep them.  It could have been for any one of a number of reasons including:  the fact that they're all girls and girls are not valued in that society as much as boys; because their families were poor and couldn't support them; or because of China's infamous One-Child Policy which was in effect back then. Whatever the reason, these babies were found or taken to an orphanage and put up for adoption.

Back in the United States, they had families waiting for them. Families who had waited three LONG years to even see their pictures. Families who filled out mountains of paperwork and had endured exhaustive background checks.  These families never stopped thinking about their baby whom they'd never met. I know because one of the babies in this picture is my daughter. The babies above were part of two travel groups from the same adoption agency who eventually met up on the trip to bring their daughters home.


In honor of National Adoption Month, I'll be posting once a week on the topic of international adoption. It's gotten a lot of bad press lately because of cases where adoptive parents returned a child or abused a child. I don't know about that and I am, by no means, an expert in international adoption.  I am just one parent who knows that every one of the girls in the picture above found a family who loves them more than life itself. These were WANTED children and each of us would have done anything to bring our girls home.


To start off, here's my family's story:

My husband and I already had one child: a son. We desperately wanted another child to complete our family and so that our son would have a sibling. Domestic adoption within the United States was out because the laws governing birth parents are constantly changing here; while we sympathized with the many issues of birth parents, especially since we were the biological parents of our son, once we brought a baby home, we wanted that baby to be ours and not have to worry about someone showing up on our door in 5 or 10 years saying that she or he wanted the baby back. We chose to adopt from China because our research indicated that the babies from China were healthy. After extensive thought, soul-searching, and even more research, we signed the Intent To Adopt papers in 2002.


Now, adoption is not for the feint of heart. It's not something you do on a whim or because it's fashionable It's a LONG, complicated, expensive process in which you are thoroughly investigated to prove that you are worthy to bring another being into your family. At the center of it all is the dossier which is collected by the adoption agency; it takes about two years (?) to compile and contains letters of recommendation from family, tax and employment records, copies of your fingerprints, letters from the police department in virtually every town you've lived in attesting to your lack of a criminal record,
letters from doctors attesting to your physical and emotional health, as well as the results of a home study done by a social worker. Many of the forms submitted had to be notarized and validated by the Chinese Consulate over and over again. The adoption process is meticulous with every signature checked and re-checked to make sure everyone is who they say they are. If even the littlest detail had overlooked or the slightest mistake made, our adoption application could have been denied.


Let me mention here that our adoption agency was CCAI (http://www.ccaifamily.org/) which is run by Josh and Lily Zhong who are from China ; they started CCAI in 1992 to help bring children who had no families together with American families who would want them. Over the course of the three years it took to bring out daughter home, and even after she was here and we had to finalize the adoption, their team helped us in every way possible to make sure it would happen. There were many days I would call them, crying because I was so frustrated with how long the process was taking, and their staff would reassure me that everything was going as it should. In addition, CCAI's team proved invaluable when it was time to go to China to bring our baby home.


Compiling the dossier, in hindsight, was one of the easiest things we had to do. After we sent it to CCAI (they re-check it AGAIN), they sent it to the proper officials in China. Then came the hard part – the waiting. As an adoptive couple, you've put your heart and soul into that huge packet of paper that proves what you know to be true: you WILL love and cherish that new family member and will always be there for them no matter what.

I remember exactly where I was when I got the call. We were vacationing in a waterpark in Ocean City, Maryland, My husband and son had gone off to explore the park and I was sitting with my feet in a pool of water, my phone in a Ziploc bag to protect it, in my hands. The phone never left my side once the dossier was submitted because you never knew when you were going to hear something from CCAI. Anyway, it rang and the voice on the other line said, “Congratulations, Mrs. Klonsky. You have a beautiful baby girl!” The rep told me where my daughter was from, how old she was, and a little bit about her. I screamed and then explained to the startled strangers looking at me, “I have a daughter! I have a daughter!” Then I frantically ran around this massive waterpark looking for my husband and son. It was one of the happiest days of my life.
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In my next post celebrating National Adoption Day, I'll describe what happened next. Topics I also plan to cover are some of the best ways to celebrate a child's adoption along with recommended websites for adoption gifts and some of the interesting questions I've received as an adoptive parent. If you have any questions you'd like me to answer, please email using the Contact form at the end of this post.

Thank you for reading!