10 Ways To Deal With Your Teenager's Mood Swings

My son was the most agreeable, mild-mannered kid...until he hit puberty. Then, over the course of the next three years, he turned into a monosyllabic behemoth who only wants to play with his friends on the computer. As much as I love him (and I do, COMPLETELY), I only know he's alive when 1) I hear the toilet flush 2) he comes down to the kitchen to forage for food.

After a LOT of reading (books, on the Web) and talking to other parents as well as a few counselors, here are

10 Tips To Deal With Your Teenager's Mood Swings

1. Don't take it personally. This is not about you, it's all about your teenager. Between hormones and the pressures of school and extra-curricular activities, these kids are tornadoes of emotion.  They're not provoking you deliberately:  they can't help themselves!
   
   
   
   
2. Be there for your teen. I don't just mean emotionally, telling them they can talk to you about anything. I mean physically; the more opportunities they have to encounter you, the more comfortable they'll be in talking to you. Case in point: when I'm up late, Junior will sometimes invite me downstairs for a snack during which we'll cuddle on the couch. We don't have to talk, but on more than once occasion, he's confided in me about something bothering him. SWEET!
   
   
   
   
3. Model what to do when you're having a mood swing. When I get really frustrated or moody, I remove myself from the situation for a bit until I cool down. My son has done the same thing, waiting until he composes himself before talking.
   
   
   
   
4. Invite your teen to be a part of things. One of my son's favorite phrases is “I don't wanna.” That's acceptable sometimes, but not others. When there's a family adventure or one of his sister's gymnastics meets, he is required to attend just as we attend his marching band competitions. It's what WE do as a FAMILY. 
   
   
   
   
5. Teach your teenager to express herself and identify what she's feeling. I get frustrated when my kids don't listen and I tell them that. Give them the language (“torn,” “bittersweet,” “lonely”, “irritated”) to express themselves without resorting to name-calling or profanities.
   
   
   
   
6. Give your kid space. Running after a moody teen does not good. Let them sort it out and be there for when they have.
   
   
   
   
7. Provide outlets for teenager's physical and emotional energy. Exercise is essential for everyone, especially kids at this age. Encourage your kid to join a sport, individual or team, so they get moving.
   
   
   
   
8. Encourage your child to eat right. I've had my son accompany me to the grocery store to pick out healthy foods he'll eat. This way I'm not cooking meals he has no intention of eating while he nukes a burrito. 
   
   
   
   
9. Get them help. If you suspect your child is depressed, drinking, or into drugs, don't hesitate to contact a professional. 
   
   
   
   
10. Give your teen unconditional love. Even when they're at their most annoying, they still need you.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

I'm not religious, but I suspect that the “surly years” are Nature's way of pushing our kids away. They're SO nasty, you want them out of the nest! 

As I write this, I can hear my son talking with his friends over his computer. Every once in a while I hear a note or two of the kazoo and am reassured that he's still the sweet, goofy kid I've known his whole life. His mood swings? They're normal. And puberty? We'll get through it together.

Thank you for reading!!!

GeoZilla Allows Full Access To Your Family Whenever You're Not With Them

'Tis the season when many of us are giving our children cellphones for the first time. Along with this freedom, of course, comes our need to make sure they're okay (we giveth a little freedom, we taketh a bit back for peace of mind).   Most cellphone trackers drain batteries like crazy. And what use is a tracker if your phone is dead? 

 

Enter GeoZilla! 

 

This app uses battery-friendly location tracking methods (WiFi, cell towers, etc.) as it searches for the location of your kid, or anyone in your group, when YOU ask for it as opposed to constantly tracking the location.  This feature dramatically increases your battery's life since it's not constantly draining power.  You merely push the Refresh button on your app when you want to track your someone.  GeoZilla also integrates with Facebook and Swarm so you can find your family when they check-in on social media; this saves you the trouble of logging in to social media with your family member's account credentials. When they broadcast their location to their friends, you'll know!

 

What else do I like about GeoZilla? 

• You can receive a notification when someone arrives or leaves a certain area. So if your cocky 6th grader decides to detour to the local 7-11 when he's supposed to be at the library, you'll know! 
• You can see the battery status of your child and any others in your family group. That means that when my teen's battery is low (as it too often is), I can send him a message to plug in! 
• GeoZilla offers cross-platform location tracking, so you can share the family map with Android and IOS devices. 
•  It offers a delayed update which stores locations so you'll never miss their whereabouts. 
• You can send a request for your family's location to their GPS tracker so you'll always know where they are.
• You can chat free with your child or anyone in your group and share pics and video.
• You can leave check-ins to let people know you're okay and have arrived safely.  How helpful would that be on long trips!

In other words, GeoZilla allows your family to communicate, seamlessly, whenever you're not together!

 

Watch this YouTube video to learn more about GeoZilla:

 

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I had the pleasure of asking Alex Sharov, GeoZilla's CEO and co-founder, a few questions:

Q: How did you get the idea for this app? 

 

Mr. Sharov: Since I travel a lot, I am always nervous not being near my daughter. She lives in Texas and is about to reach the age to have her personal cell phone (kids sure are getting older quicker these days). I wanted a way to know her location when I’m far away – to know she’s safe. The idea flourished when I met two developers and a marketer that were doing their own app exchanging geo-location side project for couples. My last jobs were building mobile apps, mostly in enterprise. So when pitching to the investor, WeRocks, he actually suggested we change the app to target families, kids first, not just couples. I connected with this right away. The main challenge of this project is giving children the feeling of parent’s presence and being aware of the events in their life, without the a parent breathing down their neck

Q: How old does a child need to be to use this app?

Mr. Sharov: Any kid that has a smartphone connected to the Internet would be perfect for this app, even if the kid does not open the app a single time. As to using this app by the kid himself, say, to see where the parents are, I’m not sure. It depends – my daughter is six and was comfortable freeing up ipad memory in the settings. I believe if all setup/sign up routine is done by the parents, kids 7 and up could easily use the app to see where his/her parents are. 

 

Q: Has this app been approached to track elderly adults as well?   

Mr. Sharov: Yes – the same way it's done with kids. 

 

Q: What modifications/improvements do you see to this app in the future?
 

Mr. Sharov: We're currently working on things that would ease inner-family communication like: household to-do tasks -one can assign to another member while she 's in the place (or near it), where the task can be done. For example, "Pick up laundry " at  / you assign a place / .  The tasks are geo-based and the assignee is reminded when she passes by the needed place. A la "remember to pickup laundry."




Mr. Sharov went on to say:  

Actually with the app we aim to help build trustful relationships within the family, basing on safety and care. Just to avoid "Where are you?" messages.  But not on controlling and suspicions. In general we advise parents to talk with children about why they want to install the app instead of installing it without their consent or secretly.  


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Following its soft-launch for Android and iOS, the UK-based company received $450K in seed investment fromWeRocks and Angel Investors.  Special thanks to Alex Sharov for granting me this interview.

Mr. Sharov and, I'll assume, a happy customer!

 

Thanks for reading!

10 No-Fail Holiday Gifts For Families Expecting An Adopted Child

As the mom of a luminous daughter who was born in China, I remember, during the adoption process, friends asking me what I needed for the baby. Lily was my second child, so I already had all the baby essentials (granted, in blue, because of my son), but I had the biggies: crib, car seat, stroller, etc.  I received some wonderful gifts, but in hindsight, there are things I didn't get that I really could have used.

One of these sweet girls is my own daughter, Lily!

So, in honor of National Adoption Month, here's my list of 10 items I wished I'd gotten when my precious, 11-month bundle of joy finally arrived home. 

Some are targeted toward Chinese adoption, but plenty are not, so scroll down and have fun!

1. “Miracle” Necklace – Sure, you can have your kid's name and birthdate inscribed on a necklace, but adoption is such a miracle, why not be reminded of that fact? This necklace has the word written in English and Chinese. Lovely! Available here. 
   
   
   
   

   

   Just a reminder that adoption is a miracle!

   
   
   
   
2. A Gift Card To A Grocery Store That Delivers – When my daughter first came home and was adapting to her new world, it was sometimes hard to take her grocery shopping. I WISH I'd had a gift card to Peapod or some other grocery store that delivers, especially during the harsh Winter months when I had to schlep her outside. 
   
   
   
   
   
   
3. “We Don't Have To Look Alike To Be A Forever Family” Sweatshirt for kids – Sure, the new arrival could wear this, but what a wonderful present for an older sibling! This would have been perfect for my son who received questions from his friends like, “How can she be your sister when she doesn't look like you?” Available here.   

   

   Adoption brings a family together forever!

   
   
    
4. “Adoption Brings Love” Travel Mug – Perfect for any parent and/or grandparent and a reminder of what a blessing adoption is, this mug is practical as well as lovely. Available here. 
    
   
   
   
   
5. Serious Offers To Babysit And/Or Babysitting Coupons – Let me explain. I was SOOO tired when my daughter came home. We have no extended family and I had no support. How I wish I'd had offers to babysit! Sure, I could have asked my friends, but it would have been wonderful to receive these babysitting coupons. And they're free to print! 
    
   
   

   

   Yes I am!

    
   
   
6. “Yes, I Am Her Real Mother” Tote Bag – Over the years, I've gotten plenty of questions from adults and children alike about who my daughter's “real” mother is. Yes, she has a birth mother, but I am her real mother – the one who waited three years for her and thought of her every one of those days, the one who takes care of her and who loves her unconditionally. This tote bag not only answers the aforementioned question, but could spark discussions about what a “real” mother is to anyone. It's also a great reminder that one does not need to give birth to be a true mother. Find it here.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
7. Adoption Picture & Poetry Photo Gift Frame – We took plenty of photos of my daughter when she arrived, I made a scrapbook of her journey, framed her adoption announcement, etc., but this 8”x10” frame is unique. The poem by Joyce Boyce (“We waited so long for this special day...”) will speak to any adoptive parent and reminds your child how much they were wanted!  See it here. 
   
   
   
   
   
   

   

   What a great way to celebrate adoption!

   
   
   
   
   
   
8. “Adoption Is A Miracle” Ornament – Okay, so it's a Christmas ornament (and what a fantastic way to add the adoption element to your holiday tree), but really, this beautiful reminder of the miracle of adoption can be hung anyway. My daughter is proud to be adopted, but I'm thinking of ordering this just as a daily reminder of how truly blessed we have been by adoption. Find it here.
   
   
   
   

   

   Hang is from a chandelier, lamp or anywhere!

   
   
   
   
9. Adoption Memory Book Set – I made a scrapbook of my daughter's journey, from the moment we signed the “Intent To Adopt” document through her first six months home. It was perfect because when our social worker came for the routine follow-up visit and asked how Lily had been doing, I just whipped out the book and showed her. How nice it would have been, however, to have a book like this. I love the fact that you can use whichever pages you want (you don't have to use them all), the fact that you can order it for Domestic or International Adoption, and some of the pages which include: homeland facts, travel itineraries, trip details, etc. You can also customize the cover. Beautiful!
   
   
   
   

   

   A sweet reminder of how far your child came to find you!

   
   
    
10. Gotcha Day Cinch Sack – A parent or child can use this lovely reminder that an internationally adopted child spans two countries. Wonderful for Gotcha Day or any day! Find it here.

Yes, these would make great holiday gifts, but what's to stop you from buying them any time?  I wish I'd had this stuff!  

To read our adoption story, visit these two posts:

http://isithotinheremmm.blogspot.com/2013/11/happy-national-adoption-month.html

http://isithotinheremmm.blogspot.com/2013/11/our-daughter-comes-home-plus.html

Thanks for reading!

5 Tips For Comforting A Child With Bronchitis

The Chillow helped my son when he had a fever.

It's been a rough nine days in my house. My son, who is NEVER sick, was running a 102 degree fever for 8 days. At first, the doctor thought it was a simple virus. When his temp hit 104.8 two nights later, I freaked, although the doctor on call didn't. She started him on an antibiotic. When he still wasn't any better, another pediatrician at the practice diagnosed him as having “bronchitis and 'recovering pneumonia'.” It turns out that two viruses are fighting for control of my poor Teen. She prescribed two more antibiotics which, THANK GOD, have brought down his fever, although he's starting on a steroid today to stop his wheezing.

Making him comfortable throughout this has been a challenge. Here are 5 things I've been doing which seem to be helping:

1. Eucalyptus oil – A few drops of this on his pillow seem to make him cough less. I did when when my kids were babies and I couldn't rub Vicks on their chest.
   
   
2. Using the Chillow when a child has a fever – When I reviewed the Chillow (read about it here), I suggested it might be helpful for a feverish child and it certainly was. The coolness of the Chillow helped him on very restless nights. It's now part of my arsenal whenever anyone is running hot.
   
   
3. Ovaltine – Junior has not been eating much at all. Ovaltine was my go-to drink when my son was growing up and refused to eat fruits and veggies. Yes, it contains sugar but it also has 12 vitamins and minerals. It's one of those “comfort drinks” from when my son was little. I mixed it in with whole milk (because he needs the calories right now) and I'm happy that at least he's getting some nutrition in addition to the seltzer he lives on and, thankfully, has been drinking throughout this ordeal. For more on Ovaltine, click here.
   
   
4. Salt water in the nebulizer – Although the doctor has Junior on Albuterol, at the first cough, I usually put salt water in our nebulizer and start the kid on that every few hours. The steam is comforting. I follow that up, at night, with the vaporizer. 
   
   
5. Some fresh air – Junior has been weakened by this illness, but getting him out, just for a walk around the perimeter of the house, clears his head a bit. Plus, since being sick for so long is just plain depressing, it reminds him that there is life outside this house that he'll soon be a part of again.

He just announced he's bored. GOOD! If he can tell me that, it's time that he begins, gradually, to get back to really living. Later on, I'll take him for soccer cleats and a new backpack. High school starts next week and he needs to be ready. The bronchitis and pneumonia will soon be an unpleasant memory. These viruses have robbed him of two weeks of Summer vacation. It's time for us to re-claim what's left of this season before we move on to the next. 

Teen Central Net: A Safe, Anonymous Website For Teens

It seems that every day we, as parents, are warned about the dangers facing teens on the Internet. Rare is it that you hear about a positive site aimed at these kids. I'm proud to have found one: TeenCentral (www.teencentral.net). This website is sponsored by KidsPeace, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping children in crisis. It allows kids to post anonymously, was developed by experts in teen counseling and psychology, is professionally monitored, and provides “a password-protected, safe cyberspace for teens to work out their issues.”

Teens have a lot of options here: from writing their own stories (anonymously), to listening to teen podcasts, and exploring and learning about topics like:

• Bullying
• How To Quit Smoking
• Alcohol Awareness
• Growing Up Military
• Interfaith (where kids can learn about different faiths)
• Domestic Violence
• Dating Violence
• Weight Issues

One of the coolest features is the Search-O-Matic where young adults can search by a keyword. So, for example, if a teen types in the word “parents,” any teen stories that feature “parents” comes up. These could be stories about parents favoring one child over another, divorce, parents who promised music lessons but didn't follow through, etc.

Kids can also share videos on Teen Central, however they are warned that because the site values anonymously and safety, it will “not post any video that contains your actual name, where you live or any contact information such as email address or phone numbers.” Furthermore, they stress that “if you submit a video that you are visible in, people will see your face and therefore will be able to identify you.”

There's also a section called Just Ask Me that features a series of videos called “More Than Just Sex” and was created by Community Healthcare Network's Teens P.A.C.T. program in New York City. These videos are targeted to empower teens to make positive decisions, create social change, and positively impact the rates of teen pregnancy, STD's and HIV.

Lastly, the site features links to national and international help lines, thus ensuring that help for troubled teens is only a phone call away.

Kids can register on TeenCentral for free in order to gain full access to the entire site. Since it's interactive, it stores what they tell it and customizes topics to their life. BUT since it's totally anonymous, teens can feel free to share what's going on in their lives and because email addresses are not given, no one can track the kids down or spam them.

Pass this website’s address on to a teen you love. And if you'd like to learn more about KidsPeace, visit http://www.kidspeace.org.

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Note:  This article first appeared on the website www.thegeekparent.com.  Visit me there!