10 Ways To Deal With Your Teenager's Mood Swings

My son was the most agreeable, mild-mannered kid...until he hit puberty. Then, over the course of the next three years, he turned into a monosyllabic behemoth who only wants to play with his friends on the computer. As much as I love him (and I do, COMPLETELY), I only know he's alive when 1) I hear the toilet flush 2) he comes down to the kitchen to forage for food.

After a LOT of reading (books, on the Web) and talking to other parents as well as a few counselors, here are

10 Tips To Deal With Your Teenager's Mood Swings

1. Don't take it personally. This is not about you, it's all about your teenager. Between hormones and the pressures of school and extra-curricular activities, these kids are tornadoes of emotion.  They're not provoking you deliberately:  they can't help themselves!
   
   
   
   
2. Be there for your teen. I don't just mean emotionally, telling them they can talk to you about anything. I mean physically; the more opportunities they have to encounter you, the more comfortable they'll be in talking to you. Case in point: when I'm up late, Junior will sometimes invite me downstairs for a snack during which we'll cuddle on the couch. We don't have to talk, but on more than once occasion, he's confided in me about something bothering him. SWEET!
   
   
   
   
3. Model what to do when you're having a mood swing. When I get really frustrated or moody, I remove myself from the situation for a bit until I cool down. My son has done the same thing, waiting until he composes himself before talking.
   
   
   
   
4. Invite your teen to be a part of things. One of my son's favorite phrases is “I don't wanna.” That's acceptable sometimes, but not others. When there's a family adventure or one of his sister's gymnastics meets, he is required to attend just as we attend his marching band competitions. It's what WE do as a FAMILY. 
   
   
   
   
5. Teach your teenager to express herself and identify what she's feeling. I get frustrated when my kids don't listen and I tell them that. Give them the language (“torn,” “bittersweet,” “lonely”, “irritated”) to express themselves without resorting to name-calling or profanities.
   
   
   
   
6. Give your kid space. Running after a moody teen does not good. Let them sort it out and be there for when they have.
   
   
   
   
7. Provide outlets for teenager's physical and emotional energy. Exercise is essential for everyone, especially kids at this age. Encourage your kid to join a sport, individual or team, so they get moving.
   
   
   
   
8. Encourage your child to eat right. I've had my son accompany me to the grocery store to pick out healthy foods he'll eat. This way I'm not cooking meals he has no intention of eating while he nukes a burrito. 
   
   
   
   
9. Get them help. If you suspect your child is depressed, drinking, or into drugs, don't hesitate to contact a professional. 
   
   
   
   
10. Give your teen unconditional love. Even when they're at their most annoying, they still need you.
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    
    

I'm not religious, but I suspect that the “surly years” are Nature's way of pushing our kids away. They're SO nasty, you want them out of the nest! 

As I write this, I can hear my son talking with his friends over his computer. Every once in a while I hear a note or two of the kazoo and am reassured that he's still the sweet, goofy kid I've known his whole life. His mood swings? They're normal. And puberty? We'll get through it together.

Thank you for reading!!!

GeoZilla Allows Full Access To Your Family Whenever You're Not With Them

'Tis the season when many of us are giving our children cellphones for the first time. Along with this freedom, of course, comes our need to make sure they're okay (we giveth a little freedom, we taketh a bit back for peace of mind).   Most cellphone trackers drain batteries like crazy. And what use is a tracker if your phone is dead? 

 

Enter GeoZilla! 

 

This app uses battery-friendly location tracking methods (WiFi, cell towers, etc.) as it searches for the location of your kid, or anyone in your group, when YOU ask for it as opposed to constantly tracking the location.  This feature dramatically increases your battery's life since it's not constantly draining power.  You merely push the Refresh button on your app when you want to track your someone.  GeoZilla also integrates with Facebook and Swarm so you can find your family when they check-in on social media; this saves you the trouble of logging in to social media with your family member's account credentials. When they broadcast their location to their friends, you'll know!

 

What else do I like about GeoZilla? 

• You can receive a notification when someone arrives or leaves a certain area. So if your cocky 6th grader decides to detour to the local 7-11 when he's supposed to be at the library, you'll know! 
• You can see the battery status of your child and any others in your family group. That means that when my teen's battery is low (as it too often is), I can send him a message to plug in! 
• GeoZilla offers cross-platform location tracking, so you can share the family map with Android and IOS devices. 
•  It offers a delayed update which stores locations so you'll never miss their whereabouts. 
• You can send a request for your family's location to their GPS tracker so you'll always know where they are.
• You can chat free with your child or anyone in your group and share pics and video.
• You can leave check-ins to let people know you're okay and have arrived safely.  How helpful would that be on long trips!

In other words, GeoZilla allows your family to communicate, seamlessly, whenever you're not together!

 

Watch this YouTube video to learn more about GeoZilla:

 

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I had the pleasure of asking Alex Sharov, GeoZilla's CEO and co-founder, a few questions:

Q: How did you get the idea for this app? 

 

Mr. Sharov: Since I travel a lot, I am always nervous not being near my daughter. She lives in Texas and is about to reach the age to have her personal cell phone (kids sure are getting older quicker these days). I wanted a way to know her location when I’m far away – to know she’s safe. The idea flourished when I met two developers and a marketer that were doing their own app exchanging geo-location side project for couples. My last jobs were building mobile apps, mostly in enterprise. So when pitching to the investor, WeRocks, he actually suggested we change the app to target families, kids first, not just couples. I connected with this right away. The main challenge of this project is giving children the feeling of parent’s presence and being aware of the events in their life, without the a parent breathing down their neck

Q: How old does a child need to be to use this app?

Mr. Sharov: Any kid that has a smartphone connected to the Internet would be perfect for this app, even if the kid does not open the app a single time. As to using this app by the kid himself, say, to see where the parents are, I’m not sure. It depends – my daughter is six and was comfortable freeing up ipad memory in the settings. I believe if all setup/sign up routine is done by the parents, kids 7 and up could easily use the app to see where his/her parents are. 

 

Q: Has this app been approached to track elderly adults as well?   

Mr. Sharov: Yes – the same way it's done with kids. 

 

Q: What modifications/improvements do you see to this app in the future?
 

Mr. Sharov: We're currently working on things that would ease inner-family communication like: household to-do tasks -one can assign to another member while she 's in the place (or near it), where the task can be done. For example, "Pick up laundry " at  / you assign a place / .  The tasks are geo-based and the assignee is reminded when she passes by the needed place. A la "remember to pickup laundry."




Mr. Sharov went on to say:  

Actually with the app we aim to help build trustful relationships within the family, basing on safety and care. Just to avoid "Where are you?" messages.  But not on controlling and suspicions. In general we advise parents to talk with children about why they want to install the app instead of installing it without their consent or secretly.  


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Following its soft-launch for Android and iOS, the UK-based company received $450K in seed investment fromWeRocks and Angel Investors.  Special thanks to Alex Sharov for granting me this interview.

Mr. Sharov and, I'll assume, a happy customer!

 

Thanks for reading!

Pack These 7 Halloween Necessities

Be ready before you go out on Halloween night!

As an experienced mom who's been trick-or-treating with her kids for 11 years now (my oldest is 14), I've had my share of Halloween “whoopsies.” What I mean is, I've forgotten to bring stuff that would have been helpful and had to rely on the kindness of the other moms I was with to help me out. So, allow me, dear reader, to spare you embarrassment and turmoil by reminding you to bring the following as you take your wee one(s) trick-or-treating:

1. Flashlights – Notice it's a plural. YOU will need a flashlight and each child will as well. Those light up wands other parents have may look cute and help you see your kid, but it won't help them as they navigate uneven pavement and dog poo. I bring an extra flashlight because my darling daughter has dropped hers and not realized it until she's several houses away; by that time, she wants to keep up with her friends and will have no part of going back to retrieve it.
   
   
2. An Extra Jacket Or Sweatshirt For Your Kid – Here, in the Northeast, it's dark and cold when we go out. 20 minutes into our journey, I can guarantee that my daughter will announce that she's cold. An extra jacket or sweatshirt comes in mighty handy.
   
   
3. Plastic Bags For Candy Overflow – People give out a lot of candy and those Halloween baskets get heavy. Your little one will be begging you to take some of it, so bring a plastic grocery bag to handle the overflow.
   
   

   

   Sometimes there's too much Halloween candy for kids to hold!

   
   
4. Water – Running from house to house is hard work. My daughter gets fluoridated water which I pretend will mitigate the damage the candy will be doing to her teeth. 
   
   
5. A Snack For You – The website www.savvysource.com lists among their Halloween essentials, “healthy snacks for the kids.” Seriously, do they think kids are going to choose string cheese over a bagful of candy?! Just so YOU'RE not tempted to dip into the till, bring an apple or low-fat granola bar for yourself.
   
   
6. Your Camera – Cellphones take nice pictures, but cameras take better ones. I use both for maximum coverage of Halloween.
   
   
7. Hand Sanitizer – My area's been hit hard by the Enterovirus. I'm not taking any chances with my child getting sick. I'm hauling Purell and making her use it. Alternatively, you could bring baby wipes.  

And don't forget to limit your time while you're out trick-or-treating. Halloween this year is on a Friday and after a full week of school, the kids are going to be TIRED. You don't want to wind up a mile or more from home only to hear a little voice implore, “Carry me!” We're out in the 'hood 90 minutes max. After that, Mommy gets cranky and Halloween-ed out.

Take it from a mom who has been around many blocks. Grab the items above before you head out on Halloween. You won't be sorry!

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Thanks for reading!  Check back in with me in a day or so when I list Halloween Rules to review with your child before they go out.  Without rules, there will be Halloween Anarchy...guaranteed! 

Why Mom Is On Social Media

I've written before about how much fun I'm having with the DonateAPhoto app (you can read about it here), so recently I took the plunge and joined Instagram. (my user name is momscrayon). When I told my 14 year old about it, he asked, “Why does my Mom need more social media than me?” Excellent question, Kid!

First of all, no one needs social media in the sense that, we can survive, physically, without it. Those of us who lived through a natural disaster like a hurricane or tornado, something which knocks out electricity, know that. But for someone who writes for a living, having many venues to showcase my work is important. At present, I'm on Twitter, Facebook, Bloglovin, and now, Instagram, so it's easy to see what I do and sponsors look for you to be on multiple sites.  

Second, you see your friends almost every day. You Skype with them for hours at a time and have plenty of social interaction. I work from home where the only individual I see regularly is the mailman. He's a nice guy, but I think he's getting tired of hearing me blabber on; I mean, the guy has a job to do.  Social contact is important for everyone and social media allows me to have a modicum  of that.

Third, I get quite a bit of my news from Twitter. I learn maintain contact with friends, close and far, via Facebook. Now, I'm getting a visual glimpse into various worlds via Instagram. As you know, the Web is contains a universe of data and it's important to stay current on local and world events. 

Lastly, you, my friend, are 14. You are still developing the social radar you'll need to determine who might be a threat, what you should/should not say, what to believe and what to discount, whether information is valid, etc. You have nothing to sell, no agenda to promote. Your world is largely contained to our house, neighborhood, and town. There is NO reason you need to be spreading yourself around on social media. Your book is unwritten, your time has not yet come.

Do I need social media? Professionally and from an information standpoint, I do. From an social perspective, less so; but it's useful. Someday, I will be gone from this planet.

At some point, you may want to review my digital footprint to learn more about who I was while you were growing up, to touch me, virtually, when I am not here. Then, my beloved son, you will be happy that I was on social media. 

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Thanks for reading!