Yell With Me, Parents! Schools Need To Cool It On This

It's December and the kids have been in school a mere four months or 16 weeks, to be exact. With school supplies and the holidays coming up, the last quarter of the year is always hectic and expensive. 

Yet, in the midst of all this activity

 we've been hit with 24 school-related fundraisers!  WTF!

I've been pressured to buy Scholastic Books, overpriced wrapping paper, candy, coupon books, gifts for underprivileged kids, and an assortment of school logo clothing. We've been asked to bring in unused clothes, cans of food, new books, school supplies, water bottles, and snacks. And my kids have come home enthusiastically asking us for financial contributions to The American Heart Association and for us to sponsor various “a-thons” like “walk a-thons,” “jump-rope a-thons,” and “cartwheel a-thons.” 

Now I understand that the PTA needs to raise money for equipment that public schools can no longer provide (although I question why they spend an insane amount on incidentals like decorating for the faculty luncheon and top-of-the-line flowers for outdoor plantings). And it's wonderfully altruistic to raise money for those in need. I believe it's vital for children to know it's their duty to give and be thankful for all that they have.  

 BUT THIS CONSTANT ASKING FOR STUFF HAS GOT TO STOP!

The kids feel pressure to give and most of us are getting damn sick of being asked to give, give, give until we have nothing left! 

I was at yet another fundraiser last night. Teachers were reading at our Barnes & Noble. The kids were excited to hear their teachers (whom they've spent all day with) reading a book in the Kids' section. Of course, the PTA had boxes set up asking parents to donate (aka BUY) a book for the classrooms and the organization would get 5% of all sales for the event. Parents around me were grumbling. “It's the middle of Hanukkah, my kids have already gotten presents with more to come, and now they want me to spend a lot of money for books for the classroom,” one mother said. “My kids want me to give, but I just can't anymore,” said another. I empathized.

My family gives to charity.  We write checks to various organizations.  And I love donating used goods and food for those in need.

 But those are causes WE choose to give to, 

not ones my kids are pressured to support!

 

24 fundraisers in 16 weeks? That's sick! If I get one more email starting with “in this season of giving” I'm going to barf. Of course, if I take it up with the PTA, I'm going to look like Scrooge, so gritting my teeth is the only option. That and I'm reminded that it's time to have another talk with my kids about how WE make choices with our money and don't give in to peer pressure, even from the schools, on how we disperse our funds. We're tapped out. 

How do you feel about this?  Comment below, please! 

 

Taking A Bite Out Of The Greed This Halloween

Halloween has gotten SO complicated! When I was growing up, it was about home-made costumes, running around the neighborhood with your friends, and, yes, getting candy. Mom took my brother and me around for a bit, we scored some sugar, and then came the REAL FUN: seeing what we'd gotten and trading for our favorites.

We approached these negotiations like leaders of countries discussing world peace. 

 

Since becoming a parent, however, and in maybe the last ten years, Halloween has become MASSIVE.  Costumes are upwards of $40 for just ONE day of trick-or-treating, some houses are decked out in macabre displays which (I think) gratify gore, and kids just seem a lot greedier.

Some children arrive at my house like desperate drug addicts, aching to score more of that almighty drug, SUGAR.

 (And, no this is not a diatribe on the dangers of sugar.  Not from this Snickers-lover!)

A few years ago, I got fed up with my daughter's candy craze. After getting so much candy that I had to carry it, I announced it was time to go home. Her eyes grew wide as her friends gave her sympathetic looks. “But why,” she wailed.

 

"Because it's time to give back," I replied.

  

As I guided her back to the house, I explained that it was time for HER to give to other kids. Our block was teaming with children and I wanted to show her that part of the fun of Halloween was seeing how other kids are dressed and the joy on their faces when THEY got candy.

It was only seconds after we got into the house that the doorbell rang. Her pout turned to a smile as she opened the door to a witch, a baseball player and a tiny Hulk. Her generous side exploded as I had to stop her from giving the kids WAAAY too much candy at a time. 

At the end of the night, she announced, “Mom, I liked trick-or-treating, but giving out the candy was more fun.” That's my girl.

This year we'll expand on the giving aspect by donating a portion of her candy to Operation Shoebox which sends heat-resistant candy (chocolate melts) to the troops. Sure, the local dentist buys it back and some charities give it out to the homeless, but the latter doesn't make sense to me: why give candy to people who can't afford dental care. Besides, we've talked before about how much the troops sacrifice for us. 

This year, we REALLY give back.

Halloween has gotten complicated. Giving has not. 

When WE take the frenzy out of the holiday and show children how to embrace their inner generosity, they learn that giving IS a really pleasurable experience.  

Maybe almost as pleasurable as sugar!

  

–

And as always, thanks for reading!

10 Signs That Spring IS Coming

I shoveled snow this morning...again...following another school Snow Day yesterday. New Jersey is a constant grey, my mood is a constantly sour, and when I asked a therapist friend how her patients who from suffer depression are doing, she said,

 “Nobody gets better in a Winter like this.” 

Still, with Daylight Savings Time robbing me of an hour of sleep (grrrrrr.....) I have to believe that Spring is just around the bend. And, after all, the “official” first day of Spring is coming on March 20^th. 

So here are 10 signs that the cold and snow will soon be a memory:

1. There are buds on the trees. Really. Look at the ends of branches and you'll see the teeniest little buds growing.
   
   
   
   
2. More birds are about. I haven't spotted the elusive Robin Red Breast yet, but based on the chattering my cat is doing in the window, there are a lot more of our feathered friends out there.
   
   
   
   
3. The numerous emails I'm getting reminding me to join the Town Pool.
   
   
    
   
4. The numerous reminders I'm getting to send the kids to Camp.
   
   
   
   
5. Days are getting longer so I'm looking at snow much longer. Grrrrr....
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
6. The emergence of jelly beans and other Easter goodies which must be hoarded the rest of the year.
   
   
   
   
7. Spring/Summer clothes in the stores. Okay, so they've been there since October, but now I'm actually thinking about wearing them.
   
   
   
   
8. People who only wear pants (as opposed to shorts) on the the coldest days of the year are back in shorts. They know something we don't know.
   
   
   
   
9. The sound of woodpeckers drumming. Woodpeckers drum in early spring as both a territorial announcement and as a part of spring courtship. You may hear them on chimney flues and drainpipes.
   
   
   
   
10. Winter drinks containing gingerbread and pumpkin are fading, to be replaced by ones containing coconut and pineapple. Yum!!!!

As I look over my stomach past the 10 pounds I've gained from stress and boredom eating this Winter, I can't wait until the trail at the local park has been plowed and I can again enjoy my walks around the lake. I'm ready to say “good-bye” to my comforting fireplace and put the heavy blankets away. I'm hopeful that the pollen won't be too bad this Spring so that my daughter and I won't suffer too much. And I'm looking forward to seeing the face of that first crocus pop up from the ground. You'll hear a “whoop” of joy from here, in the Garden State. 

For me, Spring can't come soon enough!

My 2014 Halloween Recap & Tale Of One Stupid Mommy (ME)

My tummy hurts, my head hurts, my Weight Watchers scale hurts. When my daughter wasn't looking, I ate EVERY SINCLE SNICKERS BAR from her Halloween stash last night. I have a Candy Hangover.

In hindsight, I was not the smartest puppy last night.

As I was unwrapping the bars, I knew they were bad. I'm aware of the dangers of sugar. I know I have to watch my diet. 

But Snickers is milk chocolate, nuts, and caramel – the tri-fecta of candy sin. 

And they taste SOOO good! Lily got distracted by some neighbors who were throwing a bonfire on their front lawn (Can you can hillbillies?) and my hand, on automatic pilot, started transferring the good stuff from her bag to the pillowcase I'd brought for overflow. She got so much candy, she has no idea what's missing.

So I took it. It's fair trade. She's taken some of my sanity. I took her candy. And now I'm paying for hit. Deservedly so.

In the rest of the Halloween Recap:

• As Junior was getting ready for his stint as a hitman, he realized that with his hair slicked back, he looked more like an FBI guy than Tony Soprano, so he went with it. He grabbed one of dad's old wallets and made up a pretend FBI ID. I was happier with the FBI than Mafia. I dropped him off at a friend's house and got a call later that they were playing poker for candy and the party had turned into a sleepover. His sleepy, cranky presence is due back at the house any time now.
  
  
• Lily trick-or-treated for an hour, with a hundred kids who'd been dropped off on my block, before she got bored. She then gave candy out for a bit before we went over a friend's for pizza where she did gymnastics all night. So she wore her $25 Wal-Mart costume for a grand total of 90 minutes. 
  
  
• Many of those kids were accompanied by parents who were walking around with wine in their coffee cups (Was I the only parent on the block sober?). Seriously? When did parental public drunkenness become part of Halloween?
  
  
  
  

  

  I deserve to be laughed at...

  
  
  
  
• A few kids who came to my door asked if I had “peanut-free, gluten-free” candy. No. This is not a store, Kid. You get what you get and don't get upset. Sort it out later and throw out what you can't eat. That's the way its been done for decades.
  
  
• While there were a lot of Frozen characters, I was delighted that none of the girls was sporting the harlot-style costumes of a few years back. I remember answering the door to see a budding Britany Spears who would not have looked out of place in the Red Light District. Her father was behind her beaming at his darling daughter's costume, looking more like a pimp than anything else. That was noticeably absent this year – thank God!
  
  
• The dominate candies this year were Snickers, Hershey Bars, Laffy Taffy, and Skittles. Baby Ruth and Butterfinger seem to have taken a nose dive in my neighborhood.
  
  
• The kids must have taken wrappers, etc. with them when they left. My street is wonderfully clean of all by leaves falling from the wind and rain swept trees.

And the best part  of Halloween for me was seeing my candy-crazed daughter dive, not into chocolate or taffy, but gleefully rip the top off a bag of dried apples someone had given her. Nice choice, Honey!

Pure candy sin!

Too bad Mommy wasn't smarter. This Candy Hangover I have? It's justified pain, caused by my own greed. But know what? I have a hunch I'll be doing it again next year. Because for just one night a year, the sweet release of candy, is okay.

~~~

After my tummy feels better, I'll begin writing my next post.  In the meantime, please click on a few of my sponsors, please.  Thanks!  

 

Pack These 7 Halloween Necessities

Be ready before you go out on Halloween night!

As an experienced mom who's been trick-or-treating with her kids for 11 years now (my oldest is 14), I've had my share of Halloween “whoopsies.” What I mean is, I've forgotten to bring stuff that would have been helpful and had to rely on the kindness of the other moms I was with to help me out. So, allow me, dear reader, to spare you embarrassment and turmoil by reminding you to bring the following as you take your wee one(s) trick-or-treating:

1. Flashlights – Notice it's a plural. YOU will need a flashlight and each child will as well. Those light up wands other parents have may look cute and help you see your kid, but it won't help them as they navigate uneven pavement and dog poo. I bring an extra flashlight because my darling daughter has dropped hers and not realized it until she's several houses away; by that time, she wants to keep up with her friends and will have no part of going back to retrieve it.
   
   
2. An Extra Jacket Or Sweatshirt For Your Kid – Here, in the Northeast, it's dark and cold when we go out. 20 minutes into our journey, I can guarantee that my daughter will announce that she's cold. An extra jacket or sweatshirt comes in mighty handy.
   
   
3. Plastic Bags For Candy Overflow – People give out a lot of candy and those Halloween baskets get heavy. Your little one will be begging you to take some of it, so bring a plastic grocery bag to handle the overflow.
   
   

   

   Sometimes there's too much Halloween candy for kids to hold!

   
   
4. Water – Running from house to house is hard work. My daughter gets fluoridated water which I pretend will mitigate the damage the candy will be doing to her teeth. 
   
   
5. A Snack For You – The website www.savvysource.com lists among their Halloween essentials, “healthy snacks for the kids.” Seriously, do they think kids are going to choose string cheese over a bagful of candy?! Just so YOU'RE not tempted to dip into the till, bring an apple or low-fat granola bar for yourself.
   
   
6. Your Camera – Cellphones take nice pictures, but cameras take better ones. I use both for maximum coverage of Halloween.
   
   
7. Hand Sanitizer – My area's been hit hard by the Enterovirus. I'm not taking any chances with my child getting sick. I'm hauling Purell and making her use it. Alternatively, you could bring baby wipes.  

And don't forget to limit your time while you're out trick-or-treating. Halloween this year is on a Friday and after a full week of school, the kids are going to be TIRED. You don't want to wind up a mile or more from home only to hear a little voice implore, “Carry me!” We're out in the 'hood 90 minutes max. After that, Mommy gets cranky and Halloween-ed out.

Take it from a mom who has been around many blocks. Grab the items above before you head out on Halloween. You won't be sorry!

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Thanks for reading!  Check back in with me in a day or so when I list Halloween Rules to review with your child before they go out.  Without rules, there will be Halloween Anarchy...guaranteed! 

Enjoy These FREE "Ghosting" Sheets

"Ghosting" Sheet #1

"Ghosting" Sheet #2

 
The first time we visited by a "ghost" I was afraid.  Not of the ghost, of course, but I wondered who would be ringing my doorbell at 8:30PM at night?!  After I opened the door, my kids were delighted to find a bag of "goodies" along with a note introducing us to that pre-Halloween activity known as "ghosting."

"Ghosting" (also called "Booing") is a relatively new tradition which is done not only in the United States, but Great Britain.  To "ghost" someone, you need a picture of a ghost and a note (PLEASE feel free to download my "ghosting" sheets from above).  Make copies of these, depending on how many people you plan to visit; usually the number you're supposed to go to is three.

Fill three bags (they can be plain, paper bags), with candy/treats.  Then copy the letter and the ghost three times.  Include the letter and ghost with the treat bags.  When it's dark out, take your kids out to "ghost" their friends by placing the treat bag a friend's doorstep.  Ring their doorbell or knock and RUN!  "Ghosting" is anonymous, so don't let anyone see you - that's part of the fun!

If you've been ghosted, hang the attached ghost on your front door so everyone knows you've already been visited and so that you won't be ghosted again. 

Try to be mindful of peanut allergies.  One year, we "ghosted" a little girl we knew was allergic to peanuts and I had accidentally placed a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup in her treat bag.  I had to quickly call her father and explain what I'd just done.  Her father was very sweet, but I try not to include peanut products - just in case. 


"Ghosting" is a very sweet tradition that kids of any age can do.  Even my teen is not too cool to do it! Good luck and enjoy "ghosting."  It's something that you can do with your kids that's lots of fun! 

Thanks for reading!

10 Ideas For Non-Candy Goody Bag Fillers

My daughter went to a birthday party and, as is often the case, came home with a small bag of candy. She was pleased while I was not. Between Easter and birthdays, how much candy does a kid really need? Sure, we give some to our local Food Bank, but every time she has a birthday, I brainstorm what to put in those goody bags instead of candy. Here's what I've come up with:

1. Lip gloss and Chapstick – All of the girls right now are very fond of Eos lip balms which look like balls, but are actually very good for chapped lips (I keep one in the car for myself).
   
2. Pens and pencils – Yes, you probably already have a bunch of them, but these things get lost pretty quickly, too. They're always handy to have around and you can always pilfer them from your kids for your purse.
   
3. Mini-notebooks and pens – Again, handy to have and great to pilfer for your pocket or pocketbook.
   
4. Hand sanitizer – My daughter uses this right after Gymnastics since the mats and such are usually filthy. Get one that clips to backpacks or gym bags and you'll make parents very happy.
   
5. Chalk – Tis the season for drawing outside. Chalk gets used up fairly quickly and my kids never seem to have enough, so I'm always grateful when I see this in a goody bag.
   
6. Post-Its – My kids love leaving sticky notes for themselves around the house. Post-Its are great for everyone.
   
7. Bubbles – One of those across-gender goody bag fillers which is great for keeping in the car for when your kids go to the park. I used to keep a few bottles in my purse to keep daughter amused whenever we went to Little League games to watch her brother.
   
8. Small packages of microwave popcorn – These are great for parents to include (popped, of course) in lunches. My kids LOVE popcorn!
   
9. Hair accessories and brushes – You can get some great compact able hair brushes at the Dollar Store and what little girl doesn't lose a ton of hair accessories – you can never have enough.
   
10. Small water bottles – Water is the essence of life, right? Enough said.
    

Most of the items above are fairly cheap and if you use brown paper bags as goody bags (let your kids decorate them with crayons and stickers), it cuts the cost even more. Remember: don't fall into the common practice of outdoing other parents at parties. Keep it simple and practical. Kids want A goody bag. Sometimes what's in it is secondary.

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Thanks for reading!  Please come back again, okay?

15 Practical Uses For Leftover Halloween Candy

 
Halloween candy should come with these instructions: “Unwrap and apply directly to hips.” You know, sort of like Play Doh. Every year, millions of Americans are stuck with the dilemma of what to do with leftover candy. Are we spoiled or what? As parents, we feel guilty throwing the sweet stuff out because, after all, it is food and we're taught that food is not to be wasted. While there are tons of suggestions on what to do with it (“Wire the wrappers together to make a cat skirt,” “Save the wrappers to build a life-size sculpture of your kids,” etc.), many are time-intensive or just plain stupid.

So here are 15 practical, low-effort uses for leftover Halloween candy:

1.   Use it for ice cream. I scored some major Cool Mom credit a few weeks after Halloween, when we hosted a playdate and I asked the girls, “Wanna make some ice cream sundaes?” I grabbed some cheap generic ice cream cups, Hershey Chocolate Syrup, and leftover candy and let the kids go to town. My daughter beamed as her friend said, “Wow! Your mom is so cool!” Suggested candies for this include M&Ms, Skittles, and any crushed up chocolate bar. Smashed up hard candy (let the kids do it since they love smashing stuff) works, too.
2.   Use it in baking. Add crushed peanut butter cups, M&Ms, and other chocolate to cookies.
3.   Use peppermints (yes, people still give these out) in hot chocolate and to flavor coffee.
4.   Donate it to the troops. Operation Shoebox (http://operationshoebox.com) sends “support, snacks and much needed personal care items to our troops deployed outside of the USA.”
5.   Make homemade trail mix by mixing M&Ms with pretzels, nuts, and dried fruit.
6.   Save it for goodie bags or use as pinata filler.
7.   Send it it to the office. One year, my husband did not bring a big bag of candy to the office. His co-workers were ticked. I guess if you have kids, you're expected to share their unwanted booty with those who don't.
8.   Save it for it for upcoming Thanksgiving food drives.
9.   Use it as a counting tool. Let little ones learn to count and sort using different colored candies.
10. Pair chocolate, caramel, and nutty bars like Snickers with port wine or to class up some Trader Joe's red wine (in my circles, we used to call that stuff “3-Buck Chuck” since it used to cost a whopping $3). I understand from a Scotch aficionado that Twix goes quite well with Scotch.
11. Save the prettier-wrapped candies for gifts. Buy a small decorative bowl, jar, or coffee mug and fill it with candies; add a piece of fabric and a bow. Voila! A lovely gift!
12. Use it to decorate a gingerbread house.  (Note:  here's a link that will show you how to make an easy one using graham crackers:  http://kidsparties.about.com/od/celebratingholidays/qt/GrahamCrackerGingerbreadHouse.htm.)
13. Make homemade flavored vodka. Hard candies dissolved in vodka make flavored hooch. Just make sure you label any bottles appropriately and keep it far away from curious kiddies and pets.
14. Keep a bit in the car. The next time you're stuck in a major traffic jam and the kids are beating each other senseless with water bottles, whip out a piece for the children or yourself.
15. Save some for the grandparents or bring it to a nearby nursing home.


And don't feel back about pilfering it for yourself. We all do it. I mean, the kids owe us for walking them around in the cold; the house always gets a cut, right? Just try to limit yourself to a few a day.

And Happy Halloween!

Teenoween: Mom's First Experience With A Teenager On Halloween

This year, for the first time ever, my new teenager (he turned 13 over the summer)  is going trick-or-treating outside our neighborhood. While I realize he's not foraging into a ghetto or any particularly dangerous areas, it's the first time he's going out into a section of town that I'm not intimately familiar with and hanging with friends I may not know. So, as is very common these days, I'm nervous. And what do I, The Most Neurotic Mom In The World, do when I'm nervous? I come up with a plan so that there's some predictability in my life and Junior knows what I will expect of him. Here goes:

 

 

 

When you have a brand-new teen, Halloween is quite different!

• Please wear a costume. I HATE it when teenagers come to my door on Halloween night and they're not wearing any kind of disguise. They just stand there, holding out pillowcases or Target bags, blankly looking at me – not even SAYING anything thing – expecting candy. WTF?! You want freebies, you make a friggin' effort! Fortunately, Junior is on board with this. He and his posse are going out dressed, I kid you not, as a herd of horses and unicorns. I have NO idea why, but according to the guy at Party City, these costumes are the hottest ones among teens. The problem is, you can't see too well out of these masks, so I'm hoping my son and his friends are careful. At least Junior's is white so cars will see him. When I suggested he wear reflective tape on his jacket and pants, I thought he was going to shoot 

 

• When I call you to find out where I should pick you up, please answer. I don't plan on being in costume on Halloween, however, I may be wearing my froggie pajama bottoms and will have a jar of cold cream and some curlers in the car. If you are not where you're supposed to be, I will get out of the car and come looking for you dressed as Irate, Psycho Mom. I don't think you want your friends to see that. 

• Please be prepared for pickup by 8pm.  I need you and your sister home at a decent hour. I realize that after you guys get home, there will be at least an hour of candy trading ahead of us (remember: Snickers and Butterfingers are mine). I need to get you both in bed at a sensible hour so I can raid your stashes after you're asleep.

The Teen's costume - I'm so proud...(NOT!)

I'm not sure if these guidelines will do any good, but so far, Junior has agreed to them. I'm sure at least one will be ignored and I did have the foresight to make sure his monthly orthodontist appointment has been scheduled for Monday. While I'm a little sad that my son won't be accompanying his little sister trick-or-treating, I realize that it was insane to think he'd hang with us on Halloween. He's too cool and too grown up for that. My job is to try to minimize any dangers he'll be exposed to on Thursday.

Gotta go now. I wonder if he'll notice the reflective patches I'm about to sew onto the pillowcase he'll be using for his loot?    :)))

Note: this article will be updated to see how successful these guidelines were.

--

So here's my update:

Teen discovered after about an hour of trick-or-treating with his sister that the rubber mask he was wearing was HOT.  "Mom, can you see how much sweat is in here?" he asked.  I declined but inside was going, "Told you so!"  He then changed into the costume he wore last year.   I have no idea how much he ate while he was out, but I do know that before I took him to his friend's house, I made him eat a burrito which I'd packed in my bag.  Only a mother would pack a burrito in her bag...deep sigh.  His braces were NOT compromised although the little bugger claimed that he got so little candy (BS!) that he couldn't spare Mom a Snickers.  And I did not need to pick him up.  My husband, the self-avowed Grinch Who Can't Stand Halloween, offered to get his son because, in my husband's words, "I'd rather go pick up The Boy than be home and have to keep opening the door."  PS:  Mom is home all day with your stash, Junior, so a few of your Snickers are already in my belly.   :-)