Saturday, November 1, 2014

My 2014 Halloween Recap & Tale Of One Stupid Mommy (ME)

My tummy hurts, my head hurts, my Weight Watchers scale hurts. When my daughter wasn't looking, I ate EVERY SINCLE SNICKERS BAR from her Halloween stash last night. I have a Candy Hangover.

In hindsight, I was not the smartest puppy last night.

As I was unwrapping the bars, I knew they were bad. I'm aware of the dangers of sugar. I know I have to watch my diet. 

But Snickers is milk chocolate, nuts, and caramel – the tri-fecta of candy sin. 

And they taste SOOO good! Lily got distracted by some neighbors who were throwing a bonfire on their front lawn (Can you can hillbillies?) and my hand, on automatic pilot, started transferring the good stuff from her bag to the pillowcase I'd brought for overflow. She got so much candy, she has no idea what's missing.

So I took it. It's fair trade. She's taken some of my sanity. I took her candy. And now I'm paying for hit. Deservedly so.

In the rest of the Halloween Recap:

  • As Junior was getting ready for his stint as a hitman, he realized that with his hair slicked back, he looked more like an FBI guy than Tony Soprano, so he went with it. He grabbed one of dad's old wallets and made up a pretend FBI ID. I was happier with the FBI than Mafia. I dropped him off at a friend's house and got a call later that they were playing poker for candy and the party had turned into a sleepover. His sleepy, cranky presence is due back at the house any time now.

  • Lily trick-or-treated for an hour, with a hundred kids who'd been dropped off on my block, before she got bored. She then gave candy out for a bit before we went over a friend's for pizza where she did gymnastics all night. So she wore her $25 Wal-Mart costume for a grand total of 90 minutes. 

  • Many of those kids were accompanied by parents who were walking around with wine in their coffee cups (Was I the only parent on the block sober?). Seriously? When did parental public drunkenness become part of Halloween?

    I deserve to be laughed at...

  • A few kids who came to my door asked if I had “peanut-free, gluten-free” candy. No. This is not a store, Kid. You get what you get and don't get upset. Sort it out later and throw out what you can't eat. That's the way its been done for decades.

  • While there were a lot of Frozen characters, I was delighted that none of the girls was sporting the harlot-style costumes of a few years back. I remember answering the door to see a budding Britany Spears who would not have looked out of place in the Red Light District. Her father was behind her beaming at his darling daughter's costume, looking more like a pimp than anything else. That was noticeably absent this year – thank God!

  • The dominate candies this year were Snickers, Hershey Bars, Laffy Taffy, and Skittles. Baby Ruth and Butterfinger seem to have taken a nose dive in my neighborhood.

  • The kids must have taken wrappers, etc. with them when they left. My street is wonderfully clean of all by leaves falling from the wind and rain swept trees.

And the best part  of Halloween for me was seeing my candy-crazed daughter dive, not into chocolate or taffy, but gleefully rip the top off a bag of dried apples someone had given her. Nice choice, Honey!

Pure candy sin!

Too bad Mommy wasn't smarter. This Candy Hangover I have? It's justified pain, caused by my own greed. But know what? I have a hunch I'll be doing it again next year. Because for just one night a year, the sweet release of candy, is okay.


After my tummy feels better, I'll begin writing my next post.  In the meantime, please click on a few of my sponsors, please.  Thanks!  


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