My 2014 Halloween Recap & Tale Of One Stupid Mommy (ME)

My tummy hurts, my head hurts, my Weight Watchers scale hurts. When my daughter wasn't looking, I ate EVERY SINCLE SNICKERS BAR from her Halloween stash last night. I have a Candy Hangover.

In hindsight, I was not the smartest puppy last night.

As I was unwrapping the bars, I knew they were bad. I'm aware of the dangers of sugar. I know I have to watch my diet. 

But Snickers is milk chocolate, nuts, and caramel – the tri-fecta of candy sin. 

And they taste SOOO good! Lily got distracted by some neighbors who were throwing a bonfire on their front lawn (Can you can hillbillies?) and my hand, on automatic pilot, started transferring the good stuff from her bag to the pillowcase I'd brought for overflow. She got so much candy, she has no idea what's missing.

So I took it. It's fair trade. She's taken some of my sanity. I took her candy. And now I'm paying for hit. Deservedly so.

In the rest of the Halloween Recap:

• As Junior was getting ready for his stint as a hitman, he realized that with his hair slicked back, he looked more like an FBI guy than Tony Soprano, so he went with it. He grabbed one of dad's old wallets and made up a pretend FBI ID. I was happier with the FBI than Mafia. I dropped him off at a friend's house and got a call later that they were playing poker for candy and the party had turned into a sleepover. His sleepy, cranky presence is due back at the house any time now.
  
  
• Lily trick-or-treated for an hour, with a hundred kids who'd been dropped off on my block, before she got bored. She then gave candy out for a bit before we went over a friend's for pizza where she did gymnastics all night. So she wore her $25 Wal-Mart costume for a grand total of 90 minutes. 
  
  
• Many of those kids were accompanied by parents who were walking around with wine in their coffee cups (Was I the only parent on the block sober?). Seriously? When did parental public drunkenness become part of Halloween?
  
  
  
  

  

  I deserve to be laughed at...

  
  
  
  
• A few kids who came to my door asked if I had “peanut-free, gluten-free” candy. No. This is not a store, Kid. You get what you get and don't get upset. Sort it out later and throw out what you can't eat. That's the way its been done for decades.
  
  
• While there were a lot of Frozen characters, I was delighted that none of the girls was sporting the harlot-style costumes of a few years back. I remember answering the door to see a budding Britany Spears who would not have looked out of place in the Red Light District. Her father was behind her beaming at his darling daughter's costume, looking more like a pimp than anything else. That was noticeably absent this year – thank God!
  
  
• The dominate candies this year were Snickers, Hershey Bars, Laffy Taffy, and Skittles. Baby Ruth and Butterfinger seem to have taken a nose dive in my neighborhood.
  
  
• The kids must have taken wrappers, etc. with them when they left. My street is wonderfully clean of all by leaves falling from the wind and rain swept trees.

And the best part  of Halloween for me was seeing my candy-crazed daughter dive, not into chocolate or taffy, but gleefully rip the top off a bag of dried apples someone had given her. Nice choice, Honey!

Pure candy sin!

Too bad Mommy wasn't smarter. This Candy Hangover I have? It's justified pain, caused by my own greed. But know what? I have a hunch I'll be doing it again next year. Because for just one night a year, the sweet release of candy, is okay.

~~~

After my tummy feels better, I'll begin writing my next post.  In the meantime, please click on a few of my sponsors, please.  Thanks!  

 

Pack These 7 Halloween Necessities

Be ready before you go out on Halloween night!

As an experienced mom who's been trick-or-treating with her kids for 11 years now (my oldest is 14), I've had my share of Halloween “whoopsies.” What I mean is, I've forgotten to bring stuff that would have been helpful and had to rely on the kindness of the other moms I was with to help me out. So, allow me, dear reader, to spare you embarrassment and turmoil by reminding you to bring the following as you take your wee one(s) trick-or-treating:

1. Flashlights – Notice it's a plural. YOU will need a flashlight and each child will as well. Those light up wands other parents have may look cute and help you see your kid, but it won't help them as they navigate uneven pavement and dog poo. I bring an extra flashlight because my darling daughter has dropped hers and not realized it until she's several houses away; by that time, she wants to keep up with her friends and will have no part of going back to retrieve it.
   
   
2. An Extra Jacket Or Sweatshirt For Your Kid – Here, in the Northeast, it's dark and cold when we go out. 20 minutes into our journey, I can guarantee that my daughter will announce that she's cold. An extra jacket or sweatshirt comes in mighty handy.
   
   
3. Plastic Bags For Candy Overflow – People give out a lot of candy and those Halloween baskets get heavy. Your little one will be begging you to take some of it, so bring a plastic grocery bag to handle the overflow.
   
   

   

   Sometimes there's too much Halloween candy for kids to hold!

   
   
4. Water – Running from house to house is hard work. My daughter gets fluoridated water which I pretend will mitigate the damage the candy will be doing to her teeth. 
   
   
5. A Snack For You – The website www.savvysource.com lists among their Halloween essentials, “healthy snacks for the kids.” Seriously, do they think kids are going to choose string cheese over a bagful of candy?! Just so YOU'RE not tempted to dip into the till, bring an apple or low-fat granola bar for yourself.
   
   
6. Your Camera – Cellphones take nice pictures, but cameras take better ones. I use both for maximum coverage of Halloween.
   
   
7. Hand Sanitizer – My area's been hit hard by the Enterovirus. I'm not taking any chances with my child getting sick. I'm hauling Purell and making her use it. Alternatively, you could bring baby wipes.  

And don't forget to limit your time while you're out trick-or-treating. Halloween this year is on a Friday and after a full week of school, the kids are going to be TIRED. You don't want to wind up a mile or more from home only to hear a little voice implore, “Carry me!” We're out in the 'hood 90 minutes max. After that, Mommy gets cranky and Halloween-ed out.

Take it from a mom who has been around many blocks. Grab the items above before you head out on Halloween. You won't be sorry!

~~

Thanks for reading!  Check back in with me in a day or so when I list Halloween Rules to review with your child before they go out.  Without rules, there will be Halloween Anarchy...guaranteed! 

What To Do If You Don't Celebrate Halloween

You can still celebrate Fall even if you don't celebrate Halloween!

 

While my kids and I have always been into Halloween, my husband is NOT.  He hates it, seeing it as a wanton occasion when children are given permission to beg and inflict decay on their teeth; he always makes sure he works late that day.  Like him, I've met families over the years who don't like Halloween.  Maybe it's for religious reasons or personal ones, but they just don't participate in the holiday and don't want their children to, either.

So what can you do on Halloween if you don't celebrate it? Here are some suggestions:

1. Do something to celebrate Fall. Go apple or pumpkin picking, enjoy a hay ride, let the kids collect leaves, find a corn maze or attend a Fall festival. 
   
   
2. Host a Fall party or throw a sleepover for other families who don't celebrate.
   
   
3. Have an destination and/or fun activities planned.  Go bowling, to the movies, to the mall, have a treasure hunt in your backyard or turn your porch light off and hang an “out of candy” sign on your door to make that night a “family” night with plenty of games. What a blast!
   
   
4. If your kids are old enough, you might want to venture to a special restaurant (anything that doesn't serve Happy Meals) where there's less of a chance meeting trick-or-treaters.

Remember, as well, that you can always throw a costume party so your kids get the benefit of dressing up – just don't throw the costume party in October so you disassociate it with Halloween.

Halloween is an optional holiday. You don't HAVE to celebrate it. Try some of the activities above to make the day special for your kids. You'll be making memories they'll cherish for a lifetime.

Halloween is not a mandatory holiday!

Do you have any suggestions for alternatives to Halloween? Share! Share! Share!

Teenoween: Mom's First Experience With A Teenager On Halloween

This year, for the first time ever, my new teenager (he turned 13 over the summer)  is going trick-or-treating outside our neighborhood. While I realize he's not foraging into a ghetto or any particularly dangerous areas, it's the first time he's going out into a section of town that I'm not intimately familiar with and hanging with friends I may not know. So, as is very common these days, I'm nervous. And what do I, The Most Neurotic Mom In The World, do when I'm nervous? I come up with a plan so that there's some predictability in my life and Junior knows what I will expect of him. Here goes:

 

 

 

When you have a brand-new teen, Halloween is quite different!

• Please wear a costume. I HATE it when teenagers come to my door on Halloween night and they're not wearing any kind of disguise. They just stand there, holding out pillowcases or Target bags, blankly looking at me – not even SAYING anything thing – expecting candy. WTF?! You want freebies, you make a friggin' effort! Fortunately, Junior is on board with this. He and his posse are going out dressed, I kid you not, as a herd of horses and unicorns. I have NO idea why, but according to the guy at Party City, these costumes are the hottest ones among teens. The problem is, you can't see too well out of these masks, so I'm hoping my son and his friends are careful. At least Junior's is white so cars will see him. When I suggested he wear reflective tape on his jacket and pants, I thought he was going to shoot 

 

• When I call you to find out where I should pick you up, please answer. I don't plan on being in costume on Halloween, however, I may be wearing my froggie pajama bottoms and will have a jar of cold cream and some curlers in the car. If you are not where you're supposed to be, I will get out of the car and come looking for you dressed as Irate, Psycho Mom. I don't think you want your friends to see that. 

• Please be prepared for pickup by 8pm.  I need you and your sister home at a decent hour. I realize that after you guys get home, there will be at least an hour of candy trading ahead of us (remember: Snickers and Butterfingers are mine). I need to get you both in bed at a sensible hour so I can raid your stashes after you're asleep.

The Teen's costume - I'm so proud...(NOT!)

I'm not sure if these guidelines will do any good, but so far, Junior has agreed to them. I'm sure at least one will be ignored and I did have the foresight to make sure his monthly orthodontist appointment has been scheduled for Monday. While I'm a little sad that my son won't be accompanying his little sister trick-or-treating, I realize that it was insane to think he'd hang with us on Halloween. He's too cool and too grown up for that. My job is to try to minimize any dangers he'll be exposed to on Thursday.

Gotta go now. I wonder if he'll notice the reflective patches I'm about to sew onto the pillowcase he'll be using for his loot?    :)))

Note: this article will be updated to see how successful these guidelines were.

--

So here's my update:

Teen discovered after about an hour of trick-or-treating with his sister that the rubber mask he was wearing was HOT.  "Mom, can you see how much sweat is in here?" he asked.  I declined but inside was going, "Told you so!"  He then changed into the costume he wore last year.   I have no idea how much he ate while he was out, but I do know that before I took him to his friend's house, I made him eat a burrito which I'd packed in my bag.  Only a mother would pack a burrito in her bag...deep sigh.  His braces were NOT compromised although the little bugger claimed that he got so little candy (BS!) that he couldn't spare Mom a Snickers.  And I did not need to pick him up.  My husband, the self-avowed Grinch Who Can't Stand Halloween, offered to get his son because, in my husband's words, "I'd rather go pick up The Boy than be home and have to keep opening the door."  PS:  Mom is home all day with your stash, Junior, so a few of your Snickers are already in my belly.   :-)