My family is TINY, as in just the four
of us plus my mother and my mother-in-law. I usually don't think
about it, but around the Holidays, when society's emphasis is on ALL
THINGS FAMILY, I feel bad. We don't have large family gatherings with tons of people running around, my
kids don't get loads of presents from relatives, and on special
occasions, most of our friends want to be with their own relations,
not us. Still, the reality is that until my kids get married and
have children of their own, the family is not going to grow; in fact,
since the two mothers are older, the clan is actually going to get
smaller before it get bigger.
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| Having a small family is a challenge around the Holidays...it makes me sad. |
Coping with all of this pressure to
have FAMILY has been a real challenge for me. Even though it's
silly, I feel guilty that I can't give the kids more relatives. So
my husband and I have come up with our own holiday traditions, fit
for the interfaith family we are.
Hanukkah
Since my husband is Jewish, he's in
charge of Hanukkah. We light the menorah and say the prayers every
night. We've turned Hanukkah into The Literary Holiday by giving the
kids books the first night only. Hubby hides the books, turning the
gift-giving into a pseudo Scavenger Hunt by giving the kids hints as
to where the books are. We have a special meal and continue to light
the menorah whether my husband makes it home on time or not; it's
important for the kids to know that I (the non-Jewish parent) respect
Dad's tradition enough to carry through whether he's home or not.
Pre-Christmas (Okay, so it's not a holiday, but it has become it's own materialistic season.)
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| Seymour (as in he "sees more") |
Since I am a former Catholic and we're
raising the children Unitarian Universalist (which embraces all
religious traditions), we have a Christmas tree and TONS of
decorations. Elf-On-A-Shelf came after Thanksgiving and he delights
my daughter every day as he moves from place to place. My kids get
stockings which Santa fills with little things like socks, which seem
to consistently disappear, and sugar-free candy. Now for the two
biggies:
Christmas Eve
First, we have a special Christmas Eve
dinner, usually lasagna (my son's favorite), and the kids drink
special sparkling apple cider out of plastic champagne glasses.
Later, we attend our church's Christmas Eve
service for children. I fell in love with this years ago when my son
was a baby. Our minister starts off by pointing out that God loves
the sound of children, so we shouldn't worry about keeping the little
ones quiet. He also tells the Nativity with the wee folk ages 6 and
under coming up to the Sanctuary and acting the story out. When my
kids were younger, they were angels and shepherds; I'm sad that
they're too old to participate now, but it's still fun to watch.
Depending on how we're feeling, we may go to our town hall's
free Christmas Light Show. Sometimes we drive around looking for
extra-special house displays as well.
My daughter (who is 9) prepares the
snacks for Santa and spends quite a bit of Christmas Eve making gifts
for Santa and Mrs. Claus. She also says goodbye to her Elf who will
be picked up by Santa when he comes later that night.
Christmas Day
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| Yep, that's a bit smaller than our family - just a bit. |
The first rule is that no one can go
downstairs to look at the tree until EVERYONE is out of bed. We then
go downstairs where Santa has given the kids three presents (the Wise
Men gave Jesus three, so that's how many the kids get as well) and we
have given them one. They also see what's in their stockings.
Everyone opens one present one at a
time while we all watch. Then, while the kids enjoy their presents,
either hubby or I make a special breakfast (he makes THE BEST
OMELETS!). Then my daughter and I start cooking for
the grandmas while my husband goes to pick them up and Junior amuses
himself. Since the Nanas LOVE to eat, and must eat early, dinner is usually over long before 5PM, so we all sit down to watch a holiday movie (often, "It's A Wonderful Life").
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| Chris Moose |
Okay so it isn't a lavish celebration,
but from what I hear from other people, it's also not filled with the
bickering and pettiness that families with larger families
experience. Our Holidays are simple and they're ours. I'm savoring
this time with the children, knowing that they won't be home with us
forever.
I guess cherishing time with the family
you have and not bemoaning what you don't have, is really what the Holidays are all about.
--
I found two fantastic articles on
celebrating holidays when you don't have a large family. Since they
resonated with me, let me share them with you:
Tara-Michelle Ziniuk wrote this lovely article in which she tells about celebrating Hanukkah with her
family of two.
Dresden Shumaker explains how she
envies those with big families in this wonderful piece.
--
Thank you for reading! Please come
back again, won't you?
