Celebrating The Holidays When Your Family Is TINY

My family is TINY, as in just the four of us plus my mother and my mother-in-law. I usually don't think about it, but around the Holidays, when society's emphasis is on ALL THINGS FAMILY, I feel bad. We don't have large family gatherings with tons of people running around, my kids don't get loads of presents from relatives, and on special occasions, most of our friends want to be with their own relations, not us. Still, the reality is that until my kids get married and have children of their own, the family is not going to grow; in fact, since the two mothers are older, the clan is actually going to get smaller before it get bigger. 

Having a small family is a challenge around the Holidays...it makes me sad.

Coping with all of this pressure to have FAMILY has been a real challenge for me. Even though it's silly, I feel guilty that I can't give the kids more relatives. So my husband and I have come up with our own holiday traditions, fit for the interfaith family we are.

Hanukkah

Since my husband is Jewish, he's in charge of Hanukkah. We light the menorah and say the prayers every night. We've turned Hanukkah into The Literary Holiday by giving the kids books the first night only. Hubby hides the books, turning the gift-giving into a pseudo Scavenger Hunt by giving the kids hints as to where the books are. We have a special meal and continue to light the menorah whether my husband makes it home on time or not; it's important for the kids to know that I (the non-Jewish parent) respect Dad's tradition enough to carry through whether he's home or not. 

Pre-Christmas (Okay, so it's not a holiday, but it has become it's own materialistic season.)

Seymour (as in he "sees more")

Since I am a former Catholic and we're raising the children Unitarian Universalist (which embraces all religious traditions), we have a Christmas tree and TONS of decorations. Elf-On-A-Shelf came after Thanksgiving and he delights my daughter every day as he moves from place to place. My kids get stockings which Santa fills with little things like socks, which seem to consistently disappear, and sugar-free candy. Now for the two biggies:

Christmas Eve

First, we have a special Christmas Eve dinner, usually lasagna (my son's favorite), and the kids drink special sparkling apple cider out of plastic champagne glasses.

Later, we attend our church's Christmas Eve service for children. I fell in love with this years ago when my son was a baby. Our minister starts off by pointing out that God loves the sound of children, so we shouldn't worry about keeping the little ones quiet. He also tells the Nativity with the wee folk ages 6 and under coming up to the Sanctuary and acting the story out. When my kids were younger, they were angels and shepherds; I'm sad that they're too old to participate now, but it's still fun to watch.

Depending on how we're feeling, we may go to our town hall's free Christmas Light Show. Sometimes we drive around looking for extra-special house displays as well.

My daughter (who is 9) prepares the snacks for Santa and spends quite a bit of Christmas Eve making gifts for Santa and Mrs. Claus. She also says goodbye to her Elf who will be picked up by Santa when he comes later that night. 

Christmas Day

Yep, that's a bit smaller than our family - just a bit.

The first rule is that no one can go downstairs to look at the tree until EVERYONE is out of bed. We then go downstairs where Santa has given the kids three presents (the Wise Men gave Jesus three, so that's how many the kids get as well) and we have given them one. They also see what's in their stockings.

Everyone opens one present one at a time while we all watch. Then, while the kids enjoy their presents, either hubby or I make a special breakfast (he makes THE BEST OMELETS!).  Then my daughter and I start cooking for the grandmas while my husband goes to pick them up and Junior amuses himself.  Since the Nanas LOVE to eat, and must eat early, dinner is usually over long before 5PM, so we all sit down to watch a holiday movie (often, "It's A Wonderful Life"). 

Chris Moose

Okay so it isn't a lavish celebration, but from what I hear from other people, it's also not filled with the bickering and pettiness that families with larger families experience. Our Holidays are simple and they're ours. I'm savoring this time with the children, knowing that they won't be home with us forever. 

I guess cherishing time with the family you have and not bemoaning what you don't have, is really what the Holidays are all about.

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I found two fantastic articles on celebrating holidays when you don't have a large family. Since they resonated with me, let me share them with you:

Tara-Michelle Ziniuk wrote this lovely article in which she tells about celebrating Hanukkah with her family of two.

Dresden Shumaker explains how she envies those with big families in this wonderful piece.

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Thank you for reading! Please come back again, won't you?

8 FUN Pieces Of Hanukkah Trivia - How Many Do YOU Know?

Lost in the midst of “all-things-Christmas” is the fact that Hanukkah is almost here.  Okay, so Hanukkah isn't as big a holiday for Jews as Christmas is for Christians, but it's still a celebration.  Since mine is an interfaith family and I am not the Jewish parent, I try to add my own spin to the traditional festivities. One way is finding trivia about this holiday and sharing it with my husband and the kids.  So I now I'd like to share with you: 

8 Little-Known Facts about Hanukkah

My family's menorah. 

See how many of these questions YOU can answer without looking!

What does the word, Hanukkah, mean?

Re-dedication. It refers to the Second Temple which was reclaimed by the Maccabees.

What did kids in Yemen go from house to house collecting?

Wicks for the menorah.

Why are children given money and presents during the holiday?

Traditionally, it was to reward them for their Torah studies.

Which nation ruled over Israel at the time of the Hanukkah story?

Syria. 

Why was the Second Temple re-dedicated?

Because Seleucid, king of Syria, Antiochus IV Epiphanes, had defiled the temple by having an altar to Zeus placed there. 

Why do families eat latkes (potato pancakes) and sufganiot (jelly doughnuts) during the festivities?

Because they're fried in oil which commemorates the miracle of the oil.

What chant is traditionally sung as the Menorah is being lit?

Hanerot Hallalu.

Why is the dreidel a symbol of Hanukkah? (I LOVE this one!)

During the Syrian-Greek decrees against the Jewish people, one of the many things banned was the study of Torah. Still, the Jews continued secretly teaching and studying the Torah. When a Greek soldier appeared, they'd hide their books and pull out tops and play with their children. Written on the sides of the dreidel are the letters nun, gimmel, heh, and shin, which represent the words nes gadol haya sham, for “A great miracle happened there.” 

So that's why the dreidel is a symbol of Hanukkah!

 

I love acknowledging and celebrating my husband's Jewish traditions with my kids. It's important for children to know where their parents came from and it's been fascinating for me to learn about Judiasm and Jewish culture. I'm looking forward to taking out the menorah and celebrating Hanukkah with my family next week. And you can bet I'll be sharing the trivia above with them as we eat our latkes! 

Thank you for reading and Happy Hanukkah! 

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Sources for this post included: www.purpletrail.com, www.funology.com, www.cnn.com, and www.aish.com.

 

3 INCREDIBLE Rosh Hashanah Recipe Sites

Challah - Yummmmm....

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I am Christian while my husband is Jewish. Growing up, I didn't know anything about Jewish culture or holidays until I got to know my future husband. In fact, the first time I cooked for his mother for one of the holidays, I made a meat lasagna. Dairy and meat – a MAJOR no-no! No wonder my mother-in-law isn't fond of me.

Raising the kids interfaith, we celebrate both Christian and Jewish holidays, so I've relied on the Web for much of my holiday information. And with the the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah (click here to learn all about it: ) starting next Thursday, September 25^th, I thought it fitting to share three of my favorite online holiday recipe resources.

1. Aish.com (http://www.aish.com/h/hh/r/Easy-to-Make-Rosh-Hashanah-Recipes.html) – This site has simple, freezable recipes to make holiday cooking more manageable.
   
   
2. About.com (http://kosherfood.about.com/od/roshhashana) – You'll find wonderful recipes plus info about 10 symbolic foods for Rosh Hashanah and a nice section on Kosher basics.
   
   
3. Allrecipes.com (http://allrecipes.com/recipes/holidays-and-events/rosh-hashanah) – You're mouth will start watering the second you visit this site. There are so many recipes here, you'll have trouble choosing which dishes to make!
   
   

   

   Honey Cake

   
   

Sure, I could buy a lot of the holiday food pre-made. But part of celebrating my husband's traditions is taking the time to make the holiday personal and special, plus it's important for my children to know all about Judaism and savor the wonderful foods that are a part of that culture. Now pardon me – I have a shopping list to prepare!

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Thanks for reading! Please check back in for some of my favorite Rosh Hashanah resources for kids.

Shalom!

Teen Central Net: A Safe, Anonymous Website For Teens

It seems that every day we, as parents, are warned about the dangers facing teens on the Internet. Rare is it that you hear about a positive site aimed at these kids. I'm proud to have found one: TeenCentral (www.teencentral.net). This website is sponsored by KidsPeace, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping children in crisis. It allows kids to post anonymously, was developed by experts in teen counseling and psychology, is professionally monitored, and provides “a password-protected, safe cyberspace for teens to work out their issues.”

Teens have a lot of options here: from writing their own stories (anonymously), to listening to teen podcasts, and exploring and learning about topics like:

• Bullying
• How To Quit Smoking
• Alcohol Awareness
• Growing Up Military
• Interfaith (where kids can learn about different faiths)
• Domestic Violence
• Dating Violence
• Weight Issues

One of the coolest features is the Search-O-Matic where young adults can search by a keyword. So, for example, if a teen types in the word “parents,” any teen stories that feature “parents” comes up. These could be stories about parents favoring one child over another, divorce, parents who promised music lessons but didn't follow through, etc.

Kids can also share videos on Teen Central, however they are warned that because the site values anonymously and safety, it will “not post any video that contains your actual name, where you live or any contact information such as email address or phone numbers.” Furthermore, they stress that “if you submit a video that you are visible in, people will see your face and therefore will be able to identify you.”

There's also a section called Just Ask Me that features a series of videos called “More Than Just Sex” and was created by Community Healthcare Network's Teens P.A.C.T. program in New York City. These videos are targeted to empower teens to make positive decisions, create social change, and positively impact the rates of teen pregnancy, STD's and HIV.

Lastly, the site features links to national and international help lines, thus ensuring that help for troubled teens is only a phone call away.

Kids can register on TeenCentral for free in order to gain full access to the entire site. Since it's interactive, it stores what they tell it and customizes topics to their life. BUT since it's totally anonymous, teens can feel free to share what's going on in their lives and because email addresses are not given, no one can track the kids down or spam them.

Pass this website’s address on to a teen you love. And if you'd like to learn more about KidsPeace, visit http://www.kidspeace.org.

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Note:  This article first appeared on the website www.thegeekparent.com.  Visit me there!

10 Ways To Have A Fun, Yet Frugal Hanukkah

I don't get it,” said one of my son's friends. “How come I usually see a menorah at your house along with Christmas lights and Santa decorations on your lawn?” Gather around, my friends, and welcome to the wonderful world of Interfaith Families!

This year, we won't have that overlapping of religious traditions, but we will be celebrating Chanukah at the same time we're celebrating Thanksgiving. In our family, the kids get books the first night of Chanukah (prompting my husband to call it The Literary Holiday) and the rest of their gifts come for Christmas. Since my hubby is Jewish, he's in charge of choosing the tomes, wrapping them, etc. Then, each of the eight nights of The Festival Of Lights, he says the prayers as we screw in a light bulb. Honestly, after all the extended malarkey of the Yule, I welcome the simplicity of Chanukah!


For us, giving books keeps the cost of the holiday down and reminds the children of the value of education.  Still, we're a one-income family and don't have a lot of money, so I've come up with these suggestions to have a fun, yet frugal Chanukah: 

1. First , resist the urge to succumb to the pressure of having Chanukah compete with Christmas. According to my husband, this is a minor Jewish holiday, so keep it in perspective. Focus on the love and togetherness instead of how much money is spent. Start traditions like “A Night In Front Of The Menorah” where you read books to each other or listen to music while enjoying each others company.  In other words, give the technology a rest.
2.  Make a Family Collage to help kids remember loved ones who have passed. Purchase a large, inexpensive frame (Ikea has some great ones) and print out photos; add stickers, ribbon, etc. Tell stories of your loved ones as you make the collage. Or make a Memory Tree by writing the names of loved ones on card stock, punching a hole through the card, and adding a ribbon. Hang from any tall plant in the house.
3. Re-gift what you have. Is there a gift card for a store you don't go to that someone else would
   appreciate? Does one child have toys they've outgrown that they can give to another?
4. Agree to make a small donation to a worthy cause in lieu of gifts - what a mitzvah!
5. Shop clearance, online sales, thrift stores, and at the local dollar store. Also look in Big Lots, Amazing Savings, and even drug stores.  A gift is whatever a person might want, not what retailers tell you to buy.   
   
6. Check out websites that offer free Chanukah gift and decoration printables like:
      - Examiner.com (http://www.examiner.com/article/free-hanukkah-printable-coloring-pages-activities-word-searches)
      - DLTK-Kids.com(http://www.dltk-kids.com/world/jewish/hanukah.htm)
      - Torahtots.com  (http://torahtots.com/holidays/chanuka/chanfng.htm)
7. Make gifts from items found in nature. Sea shells make lovely jewelry, spoon rests, or loose change holders. Family Crafts (http://familycrafts.about.com/od/naturecrafts) shows some great gifts you can make from twigs, seeds, sticks, and more!
   
8. Make a Coupon Book good for things like “taking out the garbage on an extra cold night,” "doing one load of laundry," or "getting up to feed the cat."  People appreciate someone else doing their less-than-favorite jobs.
9. Look for free, local Chanukah celebrations in your neighborhood.  Even if you're not associated with a temple, these events are often open to the general public.  Check your local newspaper or JCC for details.  
10. Go to your local library and rent some Chanukah-related movies.  My favorites include:  Lambchop's Chanukah And Passover Surprise, Chanukah On Planet Matzah Ball, and Eight Crazy Nights.  

May your Chanukah be filled with happiness and peace!

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