Monday, December 8, 2014

10 Reasons Your Elf Didn't Move Last Night (aka Mom Screwed Up)

The first few nights Seymour, our Elf-On-A-Shelf was here, I was fairly motivated.  I did a one or two of those cutesy Pinterest-things like putting Elf on a horse and giving him a mustache.   Now I'm officially sick of the little bastard.

Every night I lie in bed thinking of what I DIDN'T accomplish during the day and invariably one of those things is that I forgot to move the little idiot.  One night I know I'm either going to forget to move Seymour or will just be too lazy to get out of my nice, warm bed to do it. 

I WILL forget to move the Elf.  It's only a matter of time...

So here, for my reference and yours, are 10 excuses we can all use to explain why the Elf didn't move his damn butt last night: 

  • Elf has been moving around every night and he got tired. Everyone deserves a little rest!

  • He ate too many Christmas cookies and had a belly ache so he couldn't fly. He looks better now. Look! He's smiling! (The little narc is ALWAYS smiling...)

  • He can see everything from that point of view, so he must like it there. 

  • Santa told him to take this spot again. He has to do what Santa says, right?

  • He fell asleep waiting for YOU to fall asleep.

If he's drinking this, it explains why he's always smiling...
  • It was especially cold at the North Pole last night and Elf wanted to stay here where it was nice and warm.

  • He was afraid of the cat. (Or baby or Daddy.)

  • He heard someone moving around in their bed last night and was afraid someone would see him.

  • He's playing Simon Says with Santa and Santa hasn't said “Simon Says” yet.

  • He's testing you and wanted to see if you'd notice that he didn't move.  Wow!  You passed the test!  Good job!  

As much as I detest the work associated with Elf, I am loving the fact that my daughter is so completely into the magic of Christmas. 

She looks for Seymour every morning and is thrilled by his antics.  She and her carpool friends discuss what their elves have done and where they've been hiding.  Listening to Lily, seeing how much happiness Seymour brings her, makes the work associated with the Elf worth it. 

What are you favorite "my Elf didn't move" excuses?  I could probably use more...

Thanks for reading!  

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