Yell With Me, Parents! Schools Need To Cool It On This

It's December and the kids have been in school a mere four months or 16 weeks, to be exact. With school supplies and the holidays coming up, the last quarter of the year is always hectic and expensive. 

Yet, in the midst of all this activity

 we've been hit with 24 school-related fundraisers!  WTF!

I've been pressured to buy Scholastic Books, overpriced wrapping paper, candy, coupon books, gifts for underprivileged kids, and an assortment of school logo clothing. We've been asked to bring in unused clothes, cans of food, new books, school supplies, water bottles, and snacks. And my kids have come home enthusiastically asking us for financial contributions to The American Heart Association and for us to sponsor various “a-thons” like “walk a-thons,” “jump-rope a-thons,” and “cartwheel a-thons.” 

Now I understand that the PTA needs to raise money for equipment that public schools can no longer provide (although I question why they spend an insane amount on incidentals like decorating for the faculty luncheon and top-of-the-line flowers for outdoor plantings). And it's wonderfully altruistic to raise money for those in need. I believe it's vital for children to know it's their duty to give and be thankful for all that they have.  

 BUT THIS CONSTANT ASKING FOR STUFF HAS GOT TO STOP!

The kids feel pressure to give and most of us are getting damn sick of being asked to give, give, give until we have nothing left! 

I was at yet another fundraiser last night. Teachers were reading at our Barnes & Noble. The kids were excited to hear their teachers (whom they've spent all day with) reading a book in the Kids' section. Of course, the PTA had boxes set up asking parents to donate (aka BUY) a book for the classrooms and the organization would get 5% of all sales for the event. Parents around me were grumbling. “It's the middle of Hanukkah, my kids have already gotten presents with more to come, and now they want me to spend a lot of money for books for the classroom,” one mother said. “My kids want me to give, but I just can't anymore,” said another. I empathized.

My family gives to charity.  We write checks to various organizations.  And I love donating used goods and food for those in need.

 But those are causes WE choose to give to, 

not ones my kids are pressured to support!

 

24 fundraisers in 16 weeks? That's sick! If I get one more email starting with “in this season of giving” I'm going to barf. Of course, if I take it up with the PTA, I'm going to look like Scrooge, so gritting my teeth is the only option. That and I'm reminded that it's time to have another talk with my kids about how WE make choices with our money and don't give in to peer pressure, even from the schools, on how we disperse our funds. We're tapped out. 

How do you feel about this?  Comment below, please! 

 

Celebrating The Holidays When Your Family Is TINY

My family is TINY, as in just the four of us plus my mother and my mother-in-law. I usually don't think about it, but around the Holidays, when society's emphasis is on ALL THINGS FAMILY, I feel bad. We don't have large family gatherings with tons of people running around, my kids don't get loads of presents from relatives, and on special occasions, most of our friends want to be with their own relations, not us. Still, the reality is that until my kids get married and have children of their own, the family is not going to grow; in fact, since the two mothers are older, the clan is actually going to get smaller before it get bigger. 

Having a small family is a challenge around the Holidays...it makes me sad.

Coping with all of this pressure to have FAMILY has been a real challenge for me. Even though it's silly, I feel guilty that I can't give the kids more relatives. So my husband and I have come up with our own holiday traditions, fit for the interfaith family we are.

Hanukkah

Since my husband is Jewish, he's in charge of Hanukkah. We light the menorah and say the prayers every night. We've turned Hanukkah into The Literary Holiday by giving the kids books the first night only. Hubby hides the books, turning the gift-giving into a pseudo Scavenger Hunt by giving the kids hints as to where the books are. We have a special meal and continue to light the menorah whether my husband makes it home on time or not; it's important for the kids to know that I (the non-Jewish parent) respect Dad's tradition enough to carry through whether he's home or not. 

Pre-Christmas (Okay, so it's not a holiday, but it has become it's own materialistic season.)

Seymour (as in he "sees more")

Since I am a former Catholic and we're raising the children Unitarian Universalist (which embraces all religious traditions), we have a Christmas tree and TONS of decorations. Elf-On-A-Shelf came after Thanksgiving and he delights my daughter every day as he moves from place to place. My kids get stockings which Santa fills with little things like socks, which seem to consistently disappear, and sugar-free candy. Now for the two biggies:

Christmas Eve

First, we have a special Christmas Eve dinner, usually lasagna (my son's favorite), and the kids drink special sparkling apple cider out of plastic champagne glasses.

Later, we attend our church's Christmas Eve service for children. I fell in love with this years ago when my son was a baby. Our minister starts off by pointing out that God loves the sound of children, so we shouldn't worry about keeping the little ones quiet. He also tells the Nativity with the wee folk ages 6 and under coming up to the Sanctuary and acting the story out. When my kids were younger, they were angels and shepherds; I'm sad that they're too old to participate now, but it's still fun to watch.

Depending on how we're feeling, we may go to our town hall's free Christmas Light Show. Sometimes we drive around looking for extra-special house displays as well.

My daughter (who is 9) prepares the snacks for Santa and spends quite a bit of Christmas Eve making gifts for Santa and Mrs. Claus. She also says goodbye to her Elf who will be picked up by Santa when he comes later that night. 

Christmas Day

Yep, that's a bit smaller than our family - just a bit.

The first rule is that no one can go downstairs to look at the tree until EVERYONE is out of bed. We then go downstairs where Santa has given the kids three presents (the Wise Men gave Jesus three, so that's how many the kids get as well) and we have given them one. They also see what's in their stockings.

Everyone opens one present one at a time while we all watch. Then, while the kids enjoy their presents, either hubby or I make a special breakfast (he makes THE BEST OMELETS!).  Then my daughter and I start cooking for the grandmas while my husband goes to pick them up and Junior amuses himself.  Since the Nanas LOVE to eat, and must eat early, dinner is usually over long before 5PM, so we all sit down to watch a holiday movie (often, "It's A Wonderful Life"). 

Chris Moose

Okay so it isn't a lavish celebration, but from what I hear from other people, it's also not filled with the bickering and pettiness that families with larger families experience. Our Holidays are simple and they're ours. I'm savoring this time with the children, knowing that they won't be home with us forever. 

I guess cherishing time with the family you have and not bemoaning what you don't have, is really what the Holidays are all about.

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I found two fantastic articles on celebrating holidays when you don't have a large family. Since they resonated with me, let me share them with you:

Tara-Michelle Ziniuk wrote this lovely article in which she tells about celebrating Hanukkah with her family of two.

Dresden Shumaker explains how she envies those with big families in this wonderful piece.

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Thank you for reading! Please come back again, won't you?

3 Fantastic Children's Books For Veterans Day

(In 1921, an unknown World War I American soldier was buried in Arlington National Cemetery in a spot on a hillside overlooking the Potomac River and city of Washington. This location became the country's primary destination for the veneration of America's veterans. Similar ceremonies took place in England and France on that same date, November 11^th, and the three focused attention on the ending of the fighting in World War I at 11am on November 11^th, 1918 (the 11^th hour of the 11^th day of the 11^th month). The date became known as “Armistice Day” and was later changed to honor all who have served in American Wars. We now recognize it as Veterans Day.*)

A warm book, perfect for Veteran's Day

Sure, your kids are probably learning about it in school, but if, like me, you have relatives who fought for our country and you'd like to reinforce the importance of Veteran's Day, here are three great books you can share with your kids: 

Hero Dad by Melinda Hardin – In this story, narrated by a little boy, he explains that, “My dad is a superhero.” No, he doesn't wear a cape or carry a laser gun, but he does wear fatigues and carries a rifle. The son explains many of the day-to-day actions soldiers perform like driving a tank, jumping out of an airplane, and working long hours far away from his family. Aimed at kindergarteners and younger, the book contains bright, simple illustrations that show what the father is doing while he's away from his much-missed son. I love the tone of Hero Dad – you can feel the love and pride the boy has for his dad. This is a treasure for a child with a parent deployed because they'll be able to picture, in their minds, what their missing parent is doing and may help them feel closer to that parent while they're far away.

Another surefire Veteran's Day classic!

The Wall by Eve Bunting – A young father takes his son to the Vietnam War Memorial where they look to find the name of the boy's grandfather who died in the conflict. They search seemingly endless rows and rows of names before finally finding Grandpa's. This is a solemn book, yet it's not heavy-handed at all. You get a sense of loss, but there's love and honor here, too. The dad tells his son that, “I'm proud that your grandfather's name is on this wall” while the son agrees, but innocently adds that “I'd rather have my grandpa here.” The Wall is the perfect catalyst for parents and grandparents to discuss family members and friends who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country. It's for kids in preschool through perhaps first or second grade. 

Why IS the poppy the symbol of veterans?

The Poppy Lady: Moina Belle Michael And Her Tribute To Veterans by Barbara Walsh – Ever wonder why the Veterans give out red poppies at events and outside supermarkets? I did, too, until I read this book which tells the story of a schoolteacher from Georgia who was deeply affected when some of her students and friends became soldiers in World War I. Moina worked tirelessly to make the red poppy (seen by soldiers popping up amid the trenches, craters, and otherwise barren battlefields) as the symbol to remember and honor soldiers. honor the war veterans. This book is targeted toward kids in grades three through five and a portion of the book's proceeds supports the National Military Family Association's Operation Purple®, which benefits children of the U.S. military. 

Veterans Day offers us the priceless chance to share some of the history and sacrifices men, women, and their families have made for this country. Reading with them gives kids the chance to ask questions and explore the topic of war within the safe reaches of the people they love most. Don't miss this opportunity to share Veteran' Day with your kids!

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Source:  http://www.classbrain.com

15 Uses For Old Books

Got old books? Here's how to re-use them!

 

So you've got a pile of books you and your kids haven't read in a long time. You've donated some to the local library, hospital or nursing home. Now what? Never fear! Here are 15 uses for those old tomes:

1. If they're textbooks, sell them on Amazon, Ebay, or at Cash4Books. 
2. Make a Book Safe – Cut out the center of old books to hide valuables (you can find instructions here. A word of caution: I made this as a present for my son and although it was time-intensive, Junior is now able to hide some of his valuables from his little sister by merely placing the safe among the books in his bookshelf.
   
3. Use Modge Podge to decoupage a table top, lamp shade, etc. The illustrations in many children's books are especially good for this.
   
4. Stack them to add height to a lamp (see photo). We
   

   

   Use books to increase a lamp's range.

   needed more light in this area, so we stacked books underneath. The result:  more light and a great look!
   
5. Use them as trivets. I'm always bringing warm pans to the table, but don't want to harm the surface. Old books work great to protect tabletops from too-hot plates, pots and pans.
   
6. Make a picture frame from an old board book (you can find instructions here). What a great, unique gift!
   
7. Make shelves to hold small knickknacks or other books. This is a wonderful craft (the how-to is here, especially since you can match the shelf to your room's décor.
   
8. Re-use the pages as kindling, mulch, packing material, or as wrapping paper.
   
9. Make a unique night-light. These instructions from craftster.org list this project as a “lamp,” but I think the amount of light given is really more suitable for a night-light or accent light. 
   
10. Make coasters. Take inexpensive ceramic tiles (the kind you find at Home Depot), a few book pages, decoupage using Modge Podge, and varnish. You could even add a photo or two.
    
11. Decorate a notebook. I'm always using salt-and-pepper notebooks I pilfer from the kids. They take on a more adult-look when covered with pages from a book.
    
12. Make a clock. Take a beloved book, glue the pages shut, cut out room for a clock mechanism and numbers (available at local craft stores) and you've got a clock which subtly reminds us to “Take Time For Reading.”
    
13. Decorate a portable calendar. I buy the inexpensive appointment calendars from the Dollar Store. Decoupage book illustrations or passages from an old book for a “classier” look to your calendar.
    
14. Turn an old book into a purse (find instructions here).
    
15. Make a planter for succulents (click here for the how-to).

Yes, your old book can be a planter!

Do you have any other uses for books? Please comment below! I'd love to hear from you!  And, as always,

Thank you for visiting!

Some Of My Family's Favorite Books

As you may know, our family's tradition is to give books on the first night of Chanukah (we call it our Literary Holiday). We love reading and there's something truly wonderful about sitting together as a family, basking in the light of the menorah, reading. Giving books also keeps the cost down since we celebrate Christmas as well. I mean how many presents do kids really need?


So here are my reviews (with input from my family) on some of the books we received during the Festival Of Lights as well as other books we've acquired throughout the year:

• Make It Fast, Cook It Slow by Stephanie O'Dea – Usually my family is suggesting cookbooks for me, since I'm infamous for lacking skills in the kitchen. At Thanksgiving, I not only burned the sweet potatoes, but had to throw out the pan since that was destroyed as well. When my husband walked in the house he said he knew he was home because he just followed the aroma of charred food. Lately, I've been embracing my crockpot since I can throw together a meal in the morning and it's done and remains warm no matter what time family members get home. I'd seen this book at Barnes & Noble, copied down one of the recipes, and loved the simplicity of the instructions and the comments O'Dea makes after the dish, attesting to how much her kids did or did not like it. I now have it and I'll be making recipes from this book at least once a week.
  
• The Big Book Of Scrabble-Brand Games – I spend a lot of time in the car waiting for kids. Sometimes I don't want to use my phone to occupy myself. Each Scrabblegram puzzle includes four sets of seven jumbled letters, the same kind you find on a rack of Scrabble tiles. You time yourself to reshuffle the letters to spell words and try to earn the highest point score. If you like word games, it's a great book to keep in the car.
  
• Taste Of Home's Backyard Grilling – This is hubby's book. He was never a Master Of The Grill until he bought a Weber from Amazon and put it together. He has now enthusiastically embraced his primitive man-use-fire side and chose this tome. The recipes are amazing and fairly easy. My favorite is the Barbeque Hot Wings that uses hot sauce and Italian dressing.
  
• America Bible Society's Read & Learn Bible – We carefully purchased this book, which contains stories from the Old and New Testaments, for my daughter . It's just perfect for a 2^nd or 3^rd grader with lots of pictures, yet it isn't too baby-ish for her. She can read it and better yet, wants to read it. Great for home Sunday-schooling.
  
• If I Ran The School by Bruce Lansky – My daughter and I read this last night as part of her family “required” reading; turns out, she did not want to put it down. The book consists of 24 funny school-themed poems selected by Mr. Lansky. Included is one by Jack Prelutsky and if you haven't heard of Mr. Prelutsky, run, do not walk, down to your library and find works by him!  He is probably the funniest kid's poet, outside of Dr. Seuss. This paperback book is a delightful read and great to listen to as well.
  
• 365 Foods Kids Love To Eat by Sheila Ellison & Judith Gray – I bought this book hoping my son, who did not touch a fruit or vegetable for the first ten years of his life, would pick out dishes he'd like me to cook. It didn't work with him, but my daughter likes some of the recipes in here. She can read them and helps me make them. PS – Mr. “I Hate Fruits And Veggies” now eats salad, broccoli, and spinach, although the mere thought of fruit still upsets him. The kid won't even hold a bowl containing fruit salad...when he does, I'll know that girls have entered the picture.
  
• My Book About Me by Dr. Seuss – Buy this one as a keepsake and have your little one fill it out. It contains questions about what the child looks like, foods they enjoy, their hobbies, etc. I love the sections entitled “Interesting Things I Know” which asks the kid to fill in sentences like “It is __ steps from my door to the first tree and the one called “My Clothes” which asks for things like “I own exactly ___ buttons.” A great rainy-day book, it'll keep your kid busy for hours.
  
• Enchanting Classics For Children (Dalmation Press)– I'm a big fan of story books because a child can choose which story to read and you're not picking up a whole pile of books from the floor. This particular tome contains classics like “The Three Musketeers,” “The Legend Of Robin Hood,” “20,000 Leagues Under The Sea,” and more. It's a wonderful introduction to timeless stories and has lots of cool pictures, too.
  
• All's Quiet On The Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque – I had to include at least one book that the teen is voluntarily reading. He's was heavily into Tom Clancy books but asked for this one because he enjoys classics and finds stories of war fascinating. In only a a day, he's halfway through it. When I asked why he recommends it, in typical teen fashion, he rolled his eyes and said,” 'Cause it's good.” I'm just loving these teen years...NOT!
  

So what do we do with books after we're done with them? We donate some and I find other uses for the rest. In fact, please check back in with me for a few suggestions on what you can do with leftover books.  


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Based on the number of hits I'm seeing, I'm actually starting to generate some attention with this blog. You know about me, but I'd love to know who is reading this (apparently my husband is not and I don't have that many friends). Who are you?  Please comment!

10 Ways To Have A Fun, Yet Frugal Hanukkah

I don't get it,” said one of my son's friends. “How come I usually see a menorah at your house along with Christmas lights and Santa decorations on your lawn?” Gather around, my friends, and welcome to the wonderful world of Interfaith Families!

This year, we won't have that overlapping of religious traditions, but we will be celebrating Chanukah at the same time we're celebrating Thanksgiving. In our family, the kids get books the first night of Chanukah (prompting my husband to call it The Literary Holiday) and the rest of their gifts come for Christmas. Since my hubby is Jewish, he's in charge of choosing the tomes, wrapping them, etc. Then, each of the eight nights of The Festival Of Lights, he says the prayers as we screw in a light bulb. Honestly, after all the extended malarkey of the Yule, I welcome the simplicity of Chanukah!


For us, giving books keeps the cost of the holiday down and reminds the children of the value of education.  Still, we're a one-income family and don't have a lot of money, so I've come up with these suggestions to have a fun, yet frugal Chanukah: 

1. First , resist the urge to succumb to the pressure of having Chanukah compete with Christmas. According to my husband, this is a minor Jewish holiday, so keep it in perspective. Focus on the love and togetherness instead of how much money is spent. Start traditions like “A Night In Front Of The Menorah” where you read books to each other or listen to music while enjoying each others company.  In other words, give the technology a rest.
2.  Make a Family Collage to help kids remember loved ones who have passed. Purchase a large, inexpensive frame (Ikea has some great ones) and print out photos; add stickers, ribbon, etc. Tell stories of your loved ones as you make the collage. Or make a Memory Tree by writing the names of loved ones on card stock, punching a hole through the card, and adding a ribbon. Hang from any tall plant in the house.
3. Re-gift what you have. Is there a gift card for a store you don't go to that someone else would
   appreciate? Does one child have toys they've outgrown that they can give to another?
4. Agree to make a small donation to a worthy cause in lieu of gifts - what a mitzvah!
5. Shop clearance, online sales, thrift stores, and at the local dollar store. Also look in Big Lots, Amazing Savings, and even drug stores.  A gift is whatever a person might want, not what retailers tell you to buy.   
   
6. Check out websites that offer free Chanukah gift and decoration printables like:
      - Examiner.com (http://www.examiner.com/article/free-hanukkah-printable-coloring-pages-activities-word-searches)
      - DLTK-Kids.com(http://www.dltk-kids.com/world/jewish/hanukah.htm)
      - Torahtots.com  (http://torahtots.com/holidays/chanuka/chanfng.htm)
7. Make gifts from items found in nature. Sea shells make lovely jewelry, spoon rests, or loose change holders. Family Crafts (http://familycrafts.about.com/od/naturecrafts) shows some great gifts you can make from twigs, seeds, sticks, and more!
   
8. Make a Coupon Book good for things like “taking out the garbage on an extra cold night,” "doing one load of laundry," or "getting up to feed the cat."  People appreciate someone else doing their less-than-favorite jobs.
9. Look for free, local Chanukah celebrations in your neighborhood.  Even if you're not associated with a temple, these events are often open to the general public.  Check your local newspaper or JCC for details.  
10. Go to your local library and rent some Chanukah-related movies.  My favorites include:  Lambchop's Chanukah And Passover Surprise, Chanukah On Planet Matzah Ball, and Eight Crazy Nights.  

May your Chanukah be filled with happiness and peace!

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Please come back and visit me!  And tell your friends about "Is It Hot In Here?" Menopause, Motherhood, & More!  Thanks!

10 Essential Adoption Books For Children And Adults

As someone who has been blessed by adoption, I've read a lot of books on the topic and read plenty to my kids.  Here are 10 of my favorites: 

My FAVORITE book about adoption! 

5 Adoption Books For Children:

• We Belong Together by Todd Parr – This is my very favorite book about adoption because it warmly describes the many ways families come together. The emphasis is on sharing a home and sharing love is what really makes a family a family. I especially love the fact that this book is full of colorful pictures showing multi-racial families. Written particularly for younger readers, I think it's a must-have for any adoptive family.
   
  
  
• A Mother For Choco by Keiko Kasza – Choco, a little bird, is looking for a loving parent. At first he looks for someone who resembles him, but in the course of meeting other “adoptees,” he realizes that physical similarity is immaterial: it's the love that a parent has for a child that matters. Again, written for young readers but it's appeal is across all ages.
  
  

• 

  A great adoption book for siblings

  Over The Moon: An Adoption Tale by Karen Katz – This dreamy, heartwarming book tells the magical tale of one couple's journey to their “forever and always” child. The beautiful folk art illustrations tugged at my heart as one showed the woman who had given birth but “could not take care of you” sending the baby off to loving people who could. Sniff! Sniff! For elementary-aged kids, it still made me cry.
  
  
• Tell Me Again About The Night I Was Born by Jamie Lee Curtis – Told with gentle wit, this story of a little girl who, once again, wants to hear how she came home is perfect for reading while you cuddle and cradle your, again, elementary-school aged child.
  
  
• Just Add One Chinese Sister by Patricia McMahon and Conor Clarke McCarthy – This book is great for siblings as it tells the tale of a brother's journey with his parents to pick up his new sister from China.

And 5 Books For Adults:

• In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption: A Guide for Relatives and Friends by Elisabeth O'Toole –  I liked this easy-to-read, conversational book and I think it's essential reading for anyone touched by adoption. Among the topics covered: what it's like to be an adoptive family, how family/friends can support the newly-formed unit, what are appropriate things to ask and how, etc. Again, read it and then buy it for those in your support system.

• The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming The Unforeseen Challenges Of Adoption by Karen J. Foli and John R. Thompson – Much has been heard about post-partum depression, but what happens when your adopted child comes home and it's not all rainbows and lollipops? What if the bonding isn't going as you'd dreamed or the child has special needs? This book, written by adoptive parents, addresses the issue of Post Adoption Stress Syndrome.

• Becoming A Family: Promoting Healthy Attachments With Your Adopted Child by Lark Eshleman – When I was going through the process, I heard horror stories about kids who hadn't bonded properly with their new parents (kind of like the Rosemary's Baby stories people told me when I was pregnant). This book gives effective strategies for ensuring that an adopted child adjusts as quickly and seamlessly as possible plus tells what can be done if bonding isn't going as well as it should. An important work which gives you hope if you think there's an attachment problem.

• Secret Thoughts Of An Adoptive Mom by Jana Wolff – This honest, often funny book addresses some of the thoughts I had before I met my daughter, including the biggie: What if she doesn't like me? Specifically geared toward the topic of interracial adoption.

• The Complete Book Of International Adoption: A Step-By-Step Guide To Finding Your Child by Dawn Davenport – This savvy book walks you through the process of adopting from another country. It also gives some interesting guidelines on how to choose a country and includes factors to consider (like the waiting times involved and the estimated costs for each of the top countries) with charts for easy comparison. I thought it was an easy, fascinating read.

If you had asked me twenty years ago whether I'd adopt a child, I would have said no.  Honestly, even during the early years of my marriage, I wasn't sure if I wanted kids.  Now I can't imagine my life without either child.


As for adoption, it brought me one of the most wonderful people I have ever known and I will always be grateful to our adoption agency, CCAI, and The People's Republic Of China for making my daughter's adoption possible. 

Thanks for reading!