A Generic “Playground Aide”? I Don't Think So!

Everyone is justifiably applauding teachers this week. Most go above and beyond the pittance they're paid, dedicating their personal time and often dipping into they own budgets to provide what schools will not or cannot. Similarly, classroom aides work hard to assist their students and mentors in making sure kids are happy and learning. 

One rank of the school system everyone overlooks is me: the playground aide. Low on the educational food chain, my peers and I come in for an hour or two every day to supervise recess, allowing teachers and classroom aides to have their well-deserved lunch. NEVER acknowledged, most of us aren't even known by name. Most kids refer to us as “the aide” if they're talking to someone about us, as if we are generic.

So what does a playground aide do?

Playground aides are important in keeping kids safe!

First and foremost, we protect your children from:

1. Outsiders who may be innocently walking their dogs,joggers working out, and/or predators who “wander” onto the playground during outdoor recess.
   
   
2. Themselves as they run after balls, stand under basketball backstops, and unintentionally chase each other into the woods or into parking lots. 
   
   
3. Parents who think they can just come on over to recess to say “hi” to their kids forgetting that the kids are the school's responsibility during the day. These parents mean no harm, of course, but recess is an important part of a child's school experience. It's important that parents not interfere with their kids' social opportunities. 
   
   
4. Each other as we referee squabbles and are on the constant look-out for bullying. 
   
   
   
   
    
   
   

We get to know your kids as individuals and in groups. We see who they hang with, how those groups interact, and who is most likely to be left out (it can vary from day to day).  We also talk with kids when they are alone, ascertaining whether the kid WANTS to be by him/herself or someone has excluded them (exclusions are addressed quickly). Arguments are taken seriously and talked about with the parties shaking hands or with an understanding nod; if a disagreement cannot be resolved, I send both kids to the school counselor for further consideration. Name calling and bullying are NEVER tolerated. 

My co-workers and I try our best to protect kids against injuries, but, unfortunately, they do happen. Kids carelessly bump heads, basketball players fall in the heat of the game, little ones trip over curbs and fall down walkways when the sun gets in their eyes. My peers and I wipe tears as we guide children to the nurse. Truth be told, WE get injuries too; I'm reminded of this as I look at the scratches I got yesterday trying to rescue a ball from the rosebushes. I'd rather get wounded getting a ball than have a kid get hurt (worst case scenario: the ball stays in the patch of poison ivy). 

While some aides look for reasons to blow their whistles at the kids, I take the motherly approach to being a playground aide: I look for and praise the good in children. Helpers are rewarded with praise, cooperation is copiously thanked, smiles are free and easy. A handful of children take the time to ask my name, wonder if I'm a mom, and tell me about their day. With one eye on the others, I beam at these kids: they make my heart sing! If I see these kids with their parents around town, I take the time to introduce myself to their parents and tell them how incredible their children are. 

So why take on such a humble, low-paying, often thankless job? Because it allows me to contribute to the family financially while still being at home for my younger daughter. I'm on her schedule, never far away and even if she's sick, I'm only away from her for an hour or two. My humble little salary helps pay for snacks, contributes to fundraisers, and allows us to splurge on the occasional ice cream cone. Plus, I LOVE being around kids, even for an hour or two until my own come home. 

Yes, to most of the kids, I am an nonspecific “aide,” or babysitter. To many of the parents, I'm usually a peon who “forgot to remind Jimmy to put on his jacket” (truth is, I reminded Jimmy several times, but I'm not wrestling your little darling into his overcoat on a 75 degree day). To the school administration, I'm a required-by-law body who allows the teachers to get some rest. But to a special handful of children, I'm a friend at recess when their peers abandon them, a protector, and there when they need someone to talk to. And those kids, who know my name, know I'm not generic at all. 

Thanks for reading!!!

Yell With Me, Parents! Schools Need To Cool It On This

It's December and the kids have been in school a mere four months or 16 weeks, to be exact. With school supplies and the holidays coming up, the last quarter of the year is always hectic and expensive. 

Yet, in the midst of all this activity

 we've been hit with 24 school-related fundraisers!  WTF!

I've been pressured to buy Scholastic Books, overpriced wrapping paper, candy, coupon books, gifts for underprivileged kids, and an assortment of school logo clothing. We've been asked to bring in unused clothes, cans of food, new books, school supplies, water bottles, and snacks. And my kids have come home enthusiastically asking us for financial contributions to The American Heart Association and for us to sponsor various “a-thons” like “walk a-thons,” “jump-rope a-thons,” and “cartwheel a-thons.” 

Now I understand that the PTA needs to raise money for equipment that public schools can no longer provide (although I question why they spend an insane amount on incidentals like decorating for the faculty luncheon and top-of-the-line flowers for outdoor plantings). And it's wonderfully altruistic to raise money for those in need. I believe it's vital for children to know it's their duty to give and be thankful for all that they have.  

 BUT THIS CONSTANT ASKING FOR STUFF HAS GOT TO STOP!

The kids feel pressure to give and most of us are getting damn sick of being asked to give, give, give until we have nothing left! 

I was at yet another fundraiser last night. Teachers were reading at our Barnes & Noble. The kids were excited to hear their teachers (whom they've spent all day with) reading a book in the Kids' section. Of course, the PTA had boxes set up asking parents to donate (aka BUY) a book for the classrooms and the organization would get 5% of all sales for the event. Parents around me were grumbling. “It's the middle of Hanukkah, my kids have already gotten presents with more to come, and now they want me to spend a lot of money for books for the classroom,” one mother said. “My kids want me to give, but I just can't anymore,” said another. I empathized.

My family gives to charity.  We write checks to various organizations.  And I love donating used goods and food for those in need.

 But those are causes WE choose to give to, 

not ones my kids are pressured to support!

 

24 fundraisers in 16 weeks? That's sick! If I get one more email starting with “in this season of giving” I'm going to barf. Of course, if I take it up with the PTA, I'm going to look like Scrooge, so gritting my teeth is the only option. That and I'm reminded that it's time to have another talk with my kids about how WE make choices with our money and don't give in to peer pressure, even from the schools, on how we disperse our funds. We're tapped out. 

How do you feel about this?  Comment below, please! 

 

Gift Ideas For Teachers, Coaches, & Others Who Help

Only 10 days until Christmas and we've hit crunch time, folks. The kids have five days of school left which means teacher gifts are due this week and Diva's gymnastics team is having their Secret Santa. So I've been racking my brain (ouch!) trying to think of gift ideas. Here's what I've come up with:

1. Candles and Coffee – Our PTA extorts money from parents at the beginning of the year for a class gift for the teacher. It makes the teacher happy, which is the most important thing, and earns the class parents a multitude of kudos for collecting the money.  It isn't, however, very personal. My daughter wants to giver her teacher something special from her 8-year old heart. She told me that Ms. Read likes candles and coffee, so we trekked down to our local drug store and found a heavenly-scented vanilla crème candle for about $5. Combined with a small $1 package of gourmet coffee from the grocery store (“Mom, she LOVES coffee!”) all I have to do is place the combo in a gift bag.
   
2. Body Wash/Moisturizer– Diva suggested a large box of chocolate for the Secret Santa, but at least one team member doesn't eat junk food.  What if she get's the gift?  Argh!  All of the girls shower, however, so we're heading back to the drug store where I saw small body wash gift baskets for under $10 (the limit for the Secret Santa is $15 which puts us just in range). Or, we may opt for a basket containing moisturizer which will save the recipient from an awful lot of dry-skin scratching this winter.
   
3. Lip Balms – Chapped lips are painful, as my daughter who gets them all the time, can attest to. Assemble a small gift basket yourself by placing some moisturizers you can buy quite cheaply at the dollar store in with some Chapstick.. You could even add in a few small bottles of San Pellegrino or other sparkling water to make a “Hydration Basket.” Or, I've seen Burt's Bees gift baskets containing lotion plus their famous beeswax lip balms advertised for as little as $14
   
4. Dunkin' Donuts And Sporting Goods Gift Cards – Junior had some amazing soccer coaches this past year, so if your kid is still in a sport and you'd like to reward outstanding performance, you could assemble a small gift basket containing coffee and its accessories (creamer, perhaps a regular or travel coffee mug, sweetener, coffee syrups, etc.) or go the easy route that we took and just buy a Dunkin' Donuts gift card. We also give these to the wonderful bus driver who pauses mid-block to let my late-running kid on. Similarly, a coach is usually appreciative of a gift card to a sporting goods store like Modell's, Dick's, or Sports Authority.
   
5. Water Bottles – Everyone is drinking water these days and an ecological as well as economical solution to always buying disposable water bottles is to get a re-useable one. The lovely ones pictured are sold at my local grocery store for about $6 each and would make great gifts for an adult or child alike.
   
   

   

   Everyone uses water bottles these days.

6. Dark Chocolate – The evidence is mounting that dark chocolate is good for you! Run to your local discount store and pick up an assortment of these healthy confectioneries for someone with a sweet tooth. You can even fill the aforementioned water bottle or a coffee mug to make pseudo gift-basket.
   
7. Gym Bag/Small Backpack  – Another coach or team grab bag suggestion is either a gym bag or small backpack that someone could carry their water and change of clothes in. Discount stores like Amazing Savings, Walmart, and Five Below carry these for under $10.
   
8. Cookie/Popcorn Tins – My aunt's nursing home aide deserves something nice but we're short on cash this year, so when I go to the grocery store, I'll be picking up a goodie tin which the sweet lady can share with her family or other aides. Then again, I may purchase an empty gift tin from a dollar store and fill it with packages of candy she told me at Halloween that she likes. Economical and personalized!
   
9. Bracelets – Last year my daughter and I bought memory wire, which retains its shape, at our local craft store. The little one picked out beads in colors her teacher would like and we made a very professional-looking bracelet for under $3.
   
10. Hair Care Accessories – A final Secret Santa suggestion for the ladies is to purchase a decorative tube (I think these are used for wine?)  from your local discount store and fill it with hair care accessories such as hair brushes, Scrunchies, elastics, and bobby pins. Practical and pretty!

Have I missed anything? Share your gift ideas in the Comments section!


Thank you for reading!

"Tough Teachers Get Results"? - So Do Tough Parents

A recent Review section of the Saturday/Sunday (9/28-29/13) Wall Street Journal contained a fascinating article by Joanne Lipman entitled "Tough Teachers Get Results" (http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702304213904579095303368899132.html?mod=trending_now_1).  In it, she points out that recent findings indicate that old-fashioned education, the kind that employs conscientious discipline and rigid demands, works; in fact, the absence of it may explain why we trail many other nations academically.  She further explains that studies that have also shown "the benefits of moderate childhood stress, how praise kills kids' self-esteem, and why grit is a better predictor of success than SAT scores."

No shit.  We've all seen the backlash of caused by namby-pamby parents who enable their children to be soft.  These adults place so much emphasis on being politically correct and are so coddling of children's' self-esteem that the kids can't take ANY criticism,.  The littlest indication that they're not perfect sends them crying to Mommy and Daddy.  This type of parenting has contributed to the juveniles' sense of entitlement (to money, technology, awards, good grades, etc.) merely because of their presence on this sweet earth.  It's also resulted in chidren's lack of manners (not saying "please" and "thank-you") and their reactions of disbelief and anger when someone actually tells them they cannot have something they want.  These are parents who cannot utter the word "no" to their children and raise hell when someone at school tells their little darling "no" as well.

I think that educators, largely to protect their jobs, have been forced to bow to these overindulgent parents to the detriment of our education system and our society.  The future is in the hands of a society of brats who don't have the foundations of a work ethic and think that success is just going to be handed to them.

And it's not just the overindulgent parents who are affected.  My son, who hears the word "no" all the time, asked recently for a raise in his allowance.  "My friends get money without doing any chores.  Their parents get them electronics for no reason and buy them stuff.  You make me do chores all the time and I even have to pay my way when I go out with my friends," he complained.  What followed was a rousing discussion of why chores are not optional (because the Cleaning Fairy doesn't live here and I am not doing all of it) and why he has to pay for his own stuff (because it's HIS stuff that HE wants).  After the yelling died down, I think he understood, for the umpteenth time, that  he has to work for the stuff he wants.  Similarly, he knows that if his grades go down, all of his electronics get confiscated. Having electronics is not a God-given right. Period.

Lipman lists her manifesto for the youth of today which consists of eight principles.  Read the article for all of them, but the ones that resonated with me are:

A Little Pain Is Good For You - It challenges you emotionally to do better.

Failure Is An Option - Far from traumatizing kids, failure can serve as a springboard to improvement.  I think kids who aren't afraid to fail are more likely to take chances and learn from their mistakes.

Strict Is Better Than Nice - Just as Mom and Dad need to embrace their roles as parents, rather than friends, teachers need to do the same.  Being strict, without bullying (which some teacher, truthfully, do), strengthens kids' self-esteem.  It affirms that "you CAN do better.  I know you can."

Grit Triumphs Talent - Lipman says that "passion and perseverance for long-term goals is the best predictor of success."  Anyone can cruise through life; it takes more to really succeed.

Praise Makes You Weak - I would say that too much or praising someone inappropriatly is what contributes to a kid being a marshmallow.  If kids believe that everything they do is perfect, why should they try harder?  My kids are inherently wonderful and I love them unconditionally.  Sometimes, however, I disagree with their choices (they are kids, after all) and I we either discuss what could have been done better or I let them deal with the repercussions as a Life Lesson.

Stress Makes You Strong - Lipman echoes a study that found that "a moderate amount of stress in childhood promotes resilience."  What kind of "moderate stress?"  The kind that comes from a good, non-coddling teacher.  It's in the desire to get rid of the stress that lessons can sink in.  I think a child who is dealing with minor issues that produce stress and seeing that they CAN overcome them promotes confidence in their ability to handle the bigger stuff.  If I'm writing my children's assignments, they are learning nothing.  Sometimes a parent can hurt a kid by doing things for them.

Discipline is a good thing and Lipman makes a great case for some aspects of traditional parenting and teaching.  Just as parents need to step up and say "no" to kids, teachers need to get tougher and go back to some long-forgotten aspects of teaching.  It will benefit us all.

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Tip:  As I stated above, my children are absolutely wonderful but sometimes I need to remind them of some of the rules of the house.  We have chalkboards on the cupboards in the kitchen (you can buy chalkboard paper at Amazon) which tells them what responsibilities they have for that day.  Examples include:  "empty the dishwasher," "bring up the laundry," and "feed the cat."  The chalkboard serves as a visual cue to that this stuff needs to be done and if it's not, there are no excuses.

Thank you for reading!  See you soon!