Chores For Teens: They NEED Them

Since a very young age, Junior has been EXPECTED to help around the house.  We always figured that maintaining the house was a group effort and there was no reason even a little kid couldn't help.   As he's grown, his list of chores has varied, primarily due to his time constraints and my low level of patience in getting them done. My son used to be in charge of emptying the dishwasher until I got tired of having a sink piled with dishes awaiting my trusty “emptier.” Some of the tasks he's done or is still doing include:

1. Matching socks
2. Vacuuming the first floor of the house
3. Shoveling snow
    
4. Raking leaves (which even his little sister helps out with)
5. Babysitting (since age 13)
6. Cooking microwaveable meals                                                                      
   
   
7. Dusting
8. Helping his father assemble things (furniture, our gas grill, toys, etc.)
9. Taking out the garbage
   
   
10. Taking the recycling to the curb
11. Wheeling garbage and recycling containers back to the side of the house
12. Clearing the table after meals
    
    
13. Helping his little sister with her homework
    

This year, we're giving him even more responsibility. He spent weeks complaining about how our Wifi is “lagging,” so last night, when it crashed, we had him call the cable company. He spent 30 minutes on hold before speaking to the firm's representative; then he had to give the rep our account number, etc., and go through the directed diagnostics to fix the problem. When the call was over, Junior said to me, “Mom, NOW I know how much time you've spent on the phone and why you've been so frustrated calling companies over the years! Now I get it.” Next week he'll start making his own appointments: barber, dentist, doctor, etc.

Other benefits of giving your teens more and more to do include:

1. It helps them prepare for being on their own.
2. Kids develop confidence in themselves.
3. They empathize with you for doing it for them all these years.
4. It helps them acquire a sense of responsibility and pride in their accomplishments.
5. Chores help them see themselves as important members of the family.
6. It helps them give back to the family.
7. It frees you to other things.
8. It provides a positive model for younger siblings.
9. It gives them a chance to fail and learn from their actions.
10. It emphasizes the need for order and keeping things clean. 
    
    
    
    
    GIVING THEM THINGS TO DO HELPS THEM BECOME MORE INDEPENDENT AND RESPONSIBLE. 

Sure, he complains about some of his chores and I sometimes have to repeat myself a bit more than I'd like, but overall, the kid is rising to the various challenges. I make sure that I'm flexible and sensitive to his schedule and that I praise him when he's done. Junior is earning his money, but more importantly, he's becoming more assertive and independent. And that's a process I'm privileged to watch. 

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Thanks for reading!  Come back again, won't you?  

 

3 EASY Plants You Must Have In Your Home

Having plants in the home is great on many levels. Not only do they remove pollutants from the air and look nice, but they're also a fantastic way to teach kids about responsibility. The concept that children are responsible for another living thing, something that needs to be nurtured in order to keep it alive, is a great lesson to teach.

My favorite three houseplants are:

• Aloe – A succulent, this is an easy plant to grow. During the Summer, the soil should be soaked and allowed to dry out before re-watering. During the winter, the plant becomes dormant so watering should be minimal. The one at the beginning of this post is my baby aloe.  Oh, and the container used to hold junk food. I just spray-painted it and glued on letters left over from a spelling game. I keep this plant in the house for a multitude of uses including:

• Treating burns, including sunburn
• Taking the sting and itch out of insect bites
• Soothing rashes

For more “amazing uses for aloe” click here. 

• Snake Plant – Also known as “mother-in-law's tongue” and “the bedroom plant,” this wonder is great because while most plants take away oxygen at night, this one gives off oxygen at night. The plant also filters formaldehyde (commonly used in particleboard in furniture), trichloroethylene, xylene, toluene, and benzene from the air. It's pretty easy to grow since it tolerates low light levels and irregular watering (great for kids who might forget to water it).
  
  

  

  Snake Plant       

  
  

• Corn Cane – The one below was given to me as a wedding gift by my great aunt and is 22 years old. It does wonderfully with low light and low water and it's easy to propagate. This beauty has produced many babies over the years which make great gifts. 
  
  

  

  My 22-year old corn cane

   

I usually take the water leftover from the many water bottles my kids seem to abandon all over the house and water the plants with that. Periodically, I also add 1 tablespoon of Epsom salts to a gallon of water and use that for the plants. It seems to make them flourish.

I love how warm plants make a home feel and the fact that they remove toxins from the air is a bonus. Watering them is on my daughter's list of chores, since she took over that responsibility from me, and she takes pride in the fact that she is the one who keeps our greenery alive. Plants are great for the environment and caring for them is a plus, emotionally, for even the littlest kid. Cultivate houseplants and reap lots of rewards for your family! 

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The little red spot you see hanging from the corn cane is an ornament, since the corn plant also serves as our Memory Tree.  Stay tuned for an explanation of what a Memory Tree is and how to make one. 

Thanks for reading!!!

10 Ways To Deal With Family At Thanksgiving

Family + Thanksgiving = Stress

Thanksgiving is almost upon us and while I LOVE expressions of gratitude and the all-inclusiveness of the day (it's one of the few major holidays not segregated by religion), my stomach juices are already churning at the prospect of entertaining extended family.



Hubby and I have a very small family, so for us, it just means having our mothers over, but it's still stressful. 



I do not get along with one of those women, yet I know I am not alone when it comes to having to deal with a difficult family member at holiday time. So here are some tips that I've culled that I will (teeth gritted, WILL) try on Thanksgiving Day:

• Isolate your issues with the other person so you can deal with them. While my issues are numerous, one of the things that bugs me is the fact that I wind up being the sole waitress while at least one of the ladies makes demands (no, they are not requests). So this year, we're putting each family member in charge of serving one of the dishes. Hubby will be Master Turkey, in charge of carving and doling out the bird. The 8-year old will be Salad Girl, ready with tongs at any given moment. Junior is Captain Carbs, serving up sweet potatoes and stuffing. And I will be Madam Side Dish, transporting bowls of hot veggies to the table. I'll update this post later to let you know if this did, indeed, lower my stress level.

•  “Grieve for the family we wish we had but do not.” This tip comes courtesy of the website for Psychology Today  and appears in an article entitled “The Thanksgiving Challenge.” At first I thought the suggestion was a bit of psychological mumbo jumbo, but the piece points out that at this time of the year, families feel pressured to “embody a Norman Rockwell sense of togetherness and gratitude” that may not exist. Thanks, Norm. What I've come to realize is that most families fall far short of this idolized image of family, so perhaps, like perfect bodies, it's another media concept that has little basis in reality. Unfortunately, we all feel pressured to live up to this unrealistic image. Knowing I'm not experiencing something alone helps.

• Let your guests in on the agenda. People don't always like surprises. We'll be letting the grandmas know what time we're picking them up, what time dinner will be served, and what time they'll be home. This should make it easier for them to plan their before-visit and after-visit time accordingly.

• Keep the conversation neutral. This is not the time to bring up major issues or complaints you may have with the other person (save that for Festivus). 

Holding your tongue can be challenging with family on Thanksgiving.

• Figure out what you're going to say if someone does raise an issue. My kids know to deflect unasked for criticism by saying, “feel free to discuss that with my parents.” Saying, “I'm not going to discuss this now – let's talk about it later” is a perfectly valid adult response.

• Give yourself an unannounced time-out. Retreating to the kitchen to catch a few breaths before you blow up or smack someone with a 2'x4' is reasonable.

• Understand that it is not your responsibility to live up to other people's expectations. I can't stress this enough.  Those are their issues, not yours. Don't let them put the blame on you. Just say, “I'm sorry you feel that way” and move on.

• Come up with some conversation starters. Ask questions like “what's your happiest memory,” “if you could change places with a celebrity, who would it be and why,” and “if you won the lottery, what would you do with the money.” This starts your company talking and helps avoid uncomfortable silences. Be aware that some people are just uneasy in a group. Someone who is used to dining alone may not have the social skills they once had.

Coming up with conversation starters can ease the tension at Thanksgiving

• Be prepared with post-dinner activities. Thanks to the website makingfriends.com, I found this free, printable Thanksgiving Bingo Game we'll be playing with the Nanas.

• Plan a reward for yourself after they leave. Whether it's playing a game with your little one, indulging in Pinterst or giving yourself permission to look at silly cats on the Internet, have something to look forward to.
  

Need more guidance on how to get through Thanksgiving? Visit http://psychcentral.com/thanksgiving
for some great articles on surviving this holiday.

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Please come back, before Thanksgiving, and visit me, won't you?