10 Tips For Helping Kids Enjoy Thanksgiving

When I was growing up, Thanksgiving meant schlepping to the house of a distant geriatric relative, having my cheeks pinched, sitting for hours listening to them complain about life, watching them chain smoke, then eating, and schlepping home while my parents told me how I hadn't sat quietly enough or tried some gross dish like Aunt Rose's succotash pudding. EVERYTHING about this day was out of my control, full of “musts” and “should haves.” It was not my favorite holiday.

Thanksgiving can be tough for kids - help them enjoy it!

When I had my own kids, I was determined that they would not suffer on Turkey Day as I had. Since our family has shrunk to only two elderly family members, the schlepping is no longer a factor because our house is the default location for all celebrations. Sure, the main event still centers around eating, but I've found ways to give the kids a voice, and thus some control, in the day's festivities.


Here are 10 of my favorite activities and strategies for helping kids enjoy this day:

• Challenge the kids to find new ways to express gratitude. Sure, you can go around the table and give thanks. But why not ask the kids, ahead of time, to draw a picture or make a collage of what they're grateful for? This is also a great way to keep the smaller ones busy while you're cooking. Older ones can take a photo on their phones and then pass it around just before dinner or they can compile a slide show to show before or after the meal.

• Get the kids involved planning and cooking the meal. Yeah, I know every website is recommending this, but getting children involved also increases the chance that they'll eat something on the menu (my daughter has been known to ignore the turkey and ask for mac and cheese for the Feast).   Kids can also tear lettuce, help bake dinner rolls, or pull grapes to put in a fruit salad. My son took Family Consumer Science (formerly Home Ec) and some of his recipes are amazing!

This took all of 5 minutes to make!

• Ask the kids if they'll help craft decorations. Diva and I whipped up this sweet little candle holder
  (battery-operated candles only) in about 10 minutes this weekend using a water jug, scissors, and crayons. It will welcome our guests when they arrive. You can find more free, printable Thanksgiving decorations here at Freebies.About.Com.

• Kids love knowing things adults don't!! Guide the kids toward Thanksgiving trivia they can share with the family during dinner. Buzzle.com has a fascinating online trivia quiz and Celebration Ideas Online offers a free printable trivia quiz.

• Enlist an older child to interview and record an older family member. Have them come up with questions to ask the senior. This could become a family heirloom!

• Give the kids an opportunity to choose some during-dinner music.  Just retain the power to veto any rowdy tunes.

• Invite the wee folk to come up with a list of topics and questions for dinner conversation. 

Don't forget to let the kids help clean up after Thanksgiving dinner!

• Allow the kids to have input into after-dinner activities. Little ones may enjoy putting on a show or playing a musical instrument. Perhaps an older child can show Grandma what video games she's playing. Or have the kids select a few movies for the family to watch.

• Have a younger child pick out a few books for a guest to read to them. Better yet, pick out a few books they might want to read TO the guest!

• Make post-guest clean-up a competition. Whoever can put away 10 items in a minute gets first crack at leftovers later.

Again, giving children choices empowers them, reducing frustration and allowing them to have some control over the day's festivities.  It also helps them enjoy the holiday more.  In my house, anyone who chooses not to help out automatically forfeits any right to complain later and is invited to spend the day in their room sans electronics.


Also, don't forget to say “please” and “thank you” to your children! What you model is what they'll pass along.

Please note that this a re-posting of something I wrote about the same time last year.  Just thought you should know...  

15 Things You Probably Don't Know About Christmas

I love trivia! Obscure facts make me feel smart and provide great conversation starters which are crucial when dealing with some family members at this time of the year. This trivia would also fuel some pleasant discussion at your local Chinese restaurant. So, I present to you, dear reader, 15 Things You Probably Don't Know About Christmas:

1. Wreaths of holly are universal symbols. The ancient druids and pagans believed holly was magical because it stayed green all year long; in honor of that, they wore sprigs and berries. When Christianity expanded, its leaders declared that the sharp leaves and round shape of the the plant represented Christ's crown of thorns and the red berries represented his blood. So really, holly is a holiday tradition that has been around longer than celebration of Christmas.
   
   
2. In Scandinavia, the Norse celebrated Yule (aka the winter solstice) from December 21^st through January. To commemorate the return of the sun, fathers and sons would return home with massive logs which they would set on fire and then everyone would party until the log burned out. Because some logs were so large, a feast could last as long as 12 days!
   
   
3. 98 percent of all Christmas trees are grown on farms with the other 2% cut from the wild. 
   
   
4. If you have a real Christmas tree, it's largely edible. In fact, the bark is a good source of Vitamin C. I wouldn't snack on a fake tree, however.
   
   
5. December 25^th wasn't celebrated as Jesus' birthday until the year AD 440.
   
   
6. From 1659 to 1681, the celebration of Christmas was banned in Boston and anyone exhibiting any sort of “Christmas spirit” was fined five shillings. Talk about a bah-humbug!
   
   
7. Despite what you might have heard in the TV special “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town,” the custom of hanging stockings originated with the Dutch who left shoes packed with food for St. Nicholas's donkeys; he would then leave small gifts in return.
   
   
8. The abbreviation “Xmas” comes from the Greek letter “X” which is an abbreviation for Christ.
   
   
9. The song “Jingle Bells” was written in 1857 by James Pierpont. It was originally called “One Horse Open Sleigh” and was composed for Thanksgiving, not Christmas.
   
   
10. In the early years of Christianity, the birth of Jesus wasn't celebrated at all; Easter was the main holiday.
    
    
11. Bolivians celebrate the “Mass of the Rooster” on Christmas Eve with some participants bringing roosters to the midnight mass; this symbolizes the belief that a rooster was the first animal to announce the birth of Jesus.
    
    
12. Christmas crackers, which have been gaining popularity in America, were invented by a candy-maker named Thomas Smith of in England. They were based on French bon-bons which were almonds wrapped in pretty paper. Smith's idea of wrapping candy and toys into small packages didn't become popular until he added a snapper which made a “crack” when the packaging was pulled.
    
    
13. After the American Revolution was over, English customs, understandably enough, fell out of favor. This included the “English” custom of celebrating Christmas. In fact, Christmas wasn't declared a federal holiday until 1870.
    
    
14. Teddy Roosevelt, who was not only an outdoorsman , but a conservationist, banned putting up a Christmas tree in the White House during his term. He found the practice so infuriating that his son, Archie, chose to sneak his own Christmas tree into the house in 1902 and hid it in a closet.
    
    
15. It's been hypothesized by Norwegian scientists, who apparently had some time on their hands, that Rudolph's crimson nose may be the result of a parasitic infection of his respiratory system.
    
    
    
    
    

Note: Sources for this blog post included: www.mirror.co.uk, http://resources.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk, www.whychristmas.com, www.history.com, and http://facts.randomhistory.com.


Please check in with me in a day or so. As always, THANK YOU FOR READING!!!

For Those Who Hate Elf-On-A Shelf: Just The Basics

I am not a fan of that phenomenon known as Elf-On-A-Shelf. In case you're not familiar with this “newest tradition,” basically it involves a doll that is sold with a book that explains how the Elf keeps a watchful eye over the inhabitants of the home. When everyone is sleeping, he flies to the North Pole and reports back to Santa whether the kids have been naughty or nice. Then he flies back to the house (too bad he doesn't earn frequent flyer points) just in time for everyone to find him sitting in a new position in the morning. We received our Elf from a very sweet friend a few years back and my daughter was immediately charmed by the little guy she named “Seymore.”


Yes, the Elf extends the magic of Christmas, but overall, I think he's a smug little snitch and the fact that he's supposed to move about every night means another thing I have to add to my “To Do” list. Yuck. Tons of people have a blast with it, putting the doll in creative positions, in imaginative places. I'm not one of those. I just try not to disappoint my child. So here are my tips for providing a very basic Elf-On-A Shelf experience:

1. Try to have Elf come as late as possible in December, preferably after you've already put up your Christmas decorations. You could even wait until the kids ask for him on the off chance that they'll forget all about him (although with all the hoopla surrounding Elf this season, I doubt that will happen. Apparently Elf's publicist is on overdrive.). Obviously the later he comes, the fewer hiding spaces need to be found.
   
2. Before he comes, make a list of places he could hide. This will help you during one of times when you belt out of bed while your inner parent screams, “Holy S***! I forgot to hide that friggin' Elf!” It also helps make sure you don't put the cretin in the same place and you can cross of the hiding spots as you use them. If you save the list on the computer, you can reference it next year.
   
3. When Elf does come, confine him to one floor or room. He'll be easier to hide and spot if he tends to hang out near one place.
   
4. Enlist the help of an older child who might be on to the little snitch. They LOVE knowing something a younger sibling doesn't and are probably full of notions about where the smug little guy can hang out.
   
5. Have excuses ready in case Elf forgets to hide one night. The website From Grind To Wine (http://fromgrindtowhine.com/2011/12/12/twelve-ways-to-save-your-butt-when-your-elf-on-the-shelf-forgets-to-move) lists some very funny ones. Keep them handy.
   
6. Ask yourself, does Elf really need to be around every day? If you need to, take a break. Elves can get stuck in traffic on the way from the North Pole. If you get tired, give yourself and the little snitch a night off.
   

And don't feel bad that you're not one of those mega-creative types found on Pinterest who find all kinds of cutesie places for the Elf. Instead, give yourself some credit for trying to do something especially nice for your kid at Christmas. 


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For those of you who read my tips for Dealing With Family At Thanksgiving, I promised I'd update you on how implementing some of those suggestions worked for me. It was mixed. My idea of having different people serve various dishes didn't work, mostly because the kitchen is so small that I didn't want the foot traffic in and out of the room. I chose to do all the serving which, in truth, minimized how much I ate, so the result was positive. The family valiantly pitched in and helped when I asked them to, which took some of the stress out of the feast.  By serving dinner promptly at 3:30, I had effectively limited the duration of the visit since one of my guests likes to go to be early and insisted on being ferried home a mere four hours after arrival.  Thanksgiving Bingo was a massive success; I had coupled it with some word searches and both activities kept young and old occupied for about an hour. We'll be doing something similar at Christmas.


We didn't need the conversation starters since catching up with my children was all these women wanted to talk about. After that, we kept the talk neutral ...until dessert when things got a bit heated and I retreated to the kitchen.  My husband, a very wise man, and I had chatted before dinner about the merits of diplomacy and he had pointed out that sometimes it's easier to walk away from someone when you realize that it's their shortcomings that make them act a particular way and not your own. An admirable strategy, to be sure, but not one that worked for me; giving myself a time-out was smarter. 

Again, kudos to my family for helping with the feast. You guys are the best!


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Please come back and visit me again soon when I'll be reviewing some of the books we received for Chanukah. And, as always, thanks for reading!!

10 Ways To Deal With Family At Thanksgiving

Family + Thanksgiving = Stress

Thanksgiving is almost upon us and while I LOVE expressions of gratitude and the all-inclusiveness of the day (it's one of the few major holidays not segregated by religion), my stomach juices are already churning at the prospect of entertaining extended family.



Hubby and I have a very small family, so for us, it just means having our mothers over, but it's still stressful. 



I do not get along with one of those women, yet I know I am not alone when it comes to having to deal with a difficult family member at holiday time. So here are some tips that I've culled that I will (teeth gritted, WILL) try on Thanksgiving Day:

• Isolate your issues with the other person so you can deal with them. While my issues are numerous, one of the things that bugs me is the fact that I wind up being the sole waitress while at least one of the ladies makes demands (no, they are not requests). So this year, we're putting each family member in charge of serving one of the dishes. Hubby will be Master Turkey, in charge of carving and doling out the bird. The 8-year old will be Salad Girl, ready with tongs at any given moment. Junior is Captain Carbs, serving up sweet potatoes and stuffing. And I will be Madam Side Dish, transporting bowls of hot veggies to the table. I'll update this post later to let you know if this did, indeed, lower my stress level.

•  “Grieve for the family we wish we had but do not.” This tip comes courtesy of the website for Psychology Today  and appears in an article entitled “The Thanksgiving Challenge.” At first I thought the suggestion was a bit of psychological mumbo jumbo, but the piece points out that at this time of the year, families feel pressured to “embody a Norman Rockwell sense of togetherness and gratitude” that may not exist. Thanks, Norm. What I've come to realize is that most families fall far short of this idolized image of family, so perhaps, like perfect bodies, it's another media concept that has little basis in reality. Unfortunately, we all feel pressured to live up to this unrealistic image. Knowing I'm not experiencing something alone helps.

• Let your guests in on the agenda. People don't always like surprises. We'll be letting the grandmas know what time we're picking them up, what time dinner will be served, and what time they'll be home. This should make it easier for them to plan their before-visit and after-visit time accordingly.

• Keep the conversation neutral. This is not the time to bring up major issues or complaints you may have with the other person (save that for Festivus). 

Holding your tongue can be challenging with family on Thanksgiving.

• Figure out what you're going to say if someone does raise an issue. My kids know to deflect unasked for criticism by saying, “feel free to discuss that with my parents.” Saying, “I'm not going to discuss this now – let's talk about it later” is a perfectly valid adult response.

• Give yourself an unannounced time-out. Retreating to the kitchen to catch a few breaths before you blow up or smack someone with a 2'x4' is reasonable.

• Understand that it is not your responsibility to live up to other people's expectations. I can't stress this enough.  Those are their issues, not yours. Don't let them put the blame on you. Just say, “I'm sorry you feel that way” and move on.

• Come up with some conversation starters. Ask questions like “what's your happiest memory,” “if you could change places with a celebrity, who would it be and why,” and “if you won the lottery, what would you do with the money.” This starts your company talking and helps avoid uncomfortable silences. Be aware that some people are just uneasy in a group. Someone who is used to dining alone may not have the social skills they once had.

Coming up with conversation starters can ease the tension at Thanksgiving

• Be prepared with post-dinner activities. Thanks to the website makingfriends.com, I found this free, printable Thanksgiving Bingo Game we'll be playing with the Nanas.

• Plan a reward for yourself after they leave. Whether it's playing a game with your little one, indulging in Pinterst or giving yourself permission to look at silly cats on the Internet, have something to look forward to.
  

Need more guidance on how to get through Thanksgiving? Visit http://psychcentral.com/thanksgiving
for some great articles on surviving this holiday.

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Please come back, before Thanksgiving, and visit me, won't you?