10 Tips For Helping Kids Enjoy Thanksgiving

When I was growing up, Thanksgiving meant schlepping to the house of a distant geriatric relative, having my cheeks pinched, sitting for hours listening to them complain about life, watching them chain smoke, then eating, and schlepping home while my parents told me how I hadn't sat quietly enough or tried some gross dish like Aunt Rose's succotash pudding. EVERYTHING about this day was out of my control, full of “musts” and “should haves.” It was not my favorite holiday.

Thanksgiving can be tough for kids - help them enjoy it!

When I had my own kids, I was determined that they would not suffer on Turkey Day as I had. Since our family has shrunk to only two elderly family members, the schlepping is no longer a factor because our house is the default location for all celebrations. Sure, the main event still centers around eating, but I've found ways to give the kids a voice, and thus some control, in the day's festivities.


Here are 10 of my favorite activities and strategies for helping kids enjoy this day:

• Challenge the kids to find new ways to express gratitude. Sure, you can go around the table and give thanks. But why not ask the kids, ahead of time, to draw a picture or make a collage of what they're grateful for? This is also a great way to keep the smaller ones busy while you're cooking. Older ones can take a photo on their phones and then pass it around just before dinner or they can compile a slide show to show before or after the meal.

• Get the kids involved planning and cooking the meal. Yeah, I know every website is recommending this, but getting children involved also increases the chance that they'll eat something on the menu (my daughter has been known to ignore the turkey and ask for mac and cheese for the Feast).   Kids can also tear lettuce, help bake dinner rolls, or pull grapes to put in a fruit salad. My son took Family Consumer Science (formerly Home Ec) and some of his recipes are amazing!

This took all of 5 minutes to make!

• Ask the kids if they'll help craft decorations. Diva and I whipped up this sweet little candle holder
  (battery-operated candles only) in about 10 minutes this weekend using a water jug, scissors, and crayons. It will welcome our guests when they arrive. You can find more free, printable Thanksgiving decorations here at Freebies.About.Com.

• Kids love knowing things adults don't!! Guide the kids toward Thanksgiving trivia they can share with the family during dinner. Buzzle.com has a fascinating online trivia quiz and Celebration Ideas Online offers a free printable trivia quiz.

• Enlist an older child to interview and record an older family member. Have them come up with questions to ask the senior. This could become a family heirloom!

• Give the kids an opportunity to choose some during-dinner music.  Just retain the power to veto any rowdy tunes.

• Invite the wee folk to come up with a list of topics and questions for dinner conversation. 

Don't forget to let the kids help clean up after Thanksgiving dinner!

• Allow the kids to have input into after-dinner activities. Little ones may enjoy putting on a show or playing a musical instrument. Perhaps an older child can show Grandma what video games she's playing. Or have the kids select a few movies for the family to watch.

• Have a younger child pick out a few books for a guest to read to them. Better yet, pick out a few books they might want to read TO the guest!

• Make post-guest clean-up a competition. Whoever can put away 10 items in a minute gets first crack at leftovers later.

Again, giving children choices empowers them, reducing frustration and allowing them to have some control over the day's festivities.  It also helps them enjoy the holiday more.  In my house, anyone who chooses not to help out automatically forfeits any right to complain later and is invited to spend the day in their room sans electronics.


Also, don't forget to say “please” and “thank you” to your children! What you model is what they'll pass along.

Please note that this a re-posting of something I wrote about the same time last year.  Just thought you should know...  

Getting Your Child To Help Out Around The House With The Proper Tools

Before I had kids, I used to see child-size tools in stores and think, “What a waste of money!” I learned my lesson quickly, however, when Junior was about 4 and we decided he should start helping with the raking of leaves every Fall. I mean, we had mounds of leaves that needed to be raked and bagged.  It was about time he got involved and, honestly, my child wanted help out around the house!  The adult-sized rakes were far too cumbersome and frustrated the boy, so it was worth the $18 to buy our boy the proper tool for him.

Children often want to help out around the house, but they need the proper tools to do so.

Now, we have a full collection of kid-sized tools that enable even my little one to assist around the house. I'm not talking craftsperson tools (although if you want a list of 11 Tools To Get Your Kids, visit this article from Popular Mechanics); I'm talking about simple purchases that those of us in Suburbia can get to help instill a work ethic in our children while allowing them to add elbow-grease value to family life. Here's what we have:

1. 

   A child-sized rake is one useful multi-purpose tool!

   The aforementioned rake with a 42” handle (available here). It allows a kid to rake without smacking themselves in the face with the handle. Get one with a lacquered wood handle so it won't splinter. This rake is also useful for adults when you have to scoop lawn debris or leaves from a tight spot.
   
   
    
2. A whisk broom and dust pan. I've bought several of these over the years at Walmart and Dollar General. They come in very handy to clean up glitter, sticker, beads, etc. My kids know that Mom doesn't get as mad about a mess when I see them cleaning it up themselves.
   
   
   
   
3. A kid-sized snow shovel. We had record-breaking snow in the Northeast last year and they're predicting a “Snowpocalypse” this year. Even our plastic shovel was too heavy for my daughter, so I'm glad we had this 11” shovel on hand (available here ). Tip:  buy a couple of these and keep one in your car's trunk.  It's good for shoveling yourself out when the snow plow plows you in on the street or you get stuck in the snow.  This tool comes in handy, as well, when you bag leaves.  Just rake the leaves onto the shovel and place them in a bag - it will save your back!
   
   

   

   This is a really handy tool whether you've got kids or not!

   
   
   
   
   
   
4. Leather gloves for kids. Hear me out: when you kid needs to scoop lawn debris or leaves, you don't know what's in there! Latex gloves tear, these do not. It's worth it to protect your child from thorns, poison ivy, and God knows what else!

   

   Don't be dissing these tools! They'll protect your child's hands!

   
   
    
   
   
5. Safety goggles and ear protectors. Instill the concept of safety early. These  goggles will protect little eyes. I couldn't find kid-sized ear protectors, but I still think kids should wear them, even if they are adult-size. Leaf blowers, lawn mowers, and snow blowers are LOUD! It's worth your child's discomfort if it protects their hearing.
    
   
   

6. 

   These tools also allow THEM to replace the batteries on their devices.

   Screwdrivers. Helping mom or dad screw something into a piece of wood is an easy way to get kids to help. They'll do it safely with these screwdrivers.
   
   
   
   
   
   
7. Dusting materials. My daughter loves to dust, so I take a dry Swiffer sheet and cut it in half. This website also provides instructions on how to make a dusting mitt for your child. Or they could just use an old sock over their little hands.
   
   
   
   
   
   
8. A light clothes hamper. And now a word about the Teen. He was complaining (the real word rhymes with 'witchin') about how the hampers we had “hurt his hands” and were “too heavy” (add whining and you'll get an idea of the drama). So it was completely worth the $12 I paid for this hamper that I bought at Target. No more excuses, Junior; get to work! Even his little sister can carry this unit, full of clothes, up the stairs.
   
   

   

   A tool that erases any excuse from the Teen - totally worth the money!

   
   
   
   

Again, those are the tools I have. My daughter actually has a kid-sized corn broom but, honestly, outside of a few jokes about witches at Halloween, we never used it for anything; that's why I didn't mention it above. And I've seen the kid-sized vacuum cleaners, but honestly, I've always thought those really were a waste of money.  Any parent I know who had one said their kid used it maybe twice and then never vacuumed again.  In doing research for this post, however, I found a great website called For Small Hands ) that has dozens of child-size tools that I never even thought of (mops, a bucket with wringer, etc.) for those who REALLY want their kids to help.

Letting kids help around the house gives them confidence, shows them that they're important members of the family, and helps you out in the process. Get them the right tools and they'll be more inclined to help. It worked for me!

~~

Thanks for reading!  Please come back again!  

DID I Turn Off The Stove? Sanity-Saving Ways To Hep You Remember If You Did

DID I remember everything I needed to?!!!

Update:  The other morning as we're leaving for school, my daughter yells, "Mom:  did you remember to turn off the toaster oven?  The stove?"  Love that! 

~~~

I am famous, or infamous, in my family for pulling out of the driveway and pulling right back in again, afraid that I'd forgotten to turn off the stove, left the back door open, etc. I've heard too many stories of people who did that and worse - left candles burning, only to find the fire department waiting when they returned home. So here are some ways to help you remember that you did, in fact, turn off something important:

1. When my daughter was very into the Rainbow Loom, I had her make me some rings. I use one of them, along with a plastic ring she got at a birthday party.  Every time I light a burner or turn the oven on, I slip one of those rings on my finger. It reminds me that that appliance is on and has saved me many times from forgetting that it was active.  You could also put a loose rubber band around your wrist as a reminder. 
   
   
   

   

   These rings help me remember when the stove is on.

   
   

2. Put your cellphone near the appliance. You're not going to bed or out the door without your cellphone! If you put that item near the candle or stove, you're going to 1) think it's weird that your phone is there, alerting you that something is unusual 2) retrieve the phone before and, hopefully, remember why it was there.

3. Say out loud “I have turned the oven off.” You will remember the sound of your voice and how insane you felt when you spoke to no one. 
   
   
   
   

   

   Hearing your own voice will help you remember

   
   
   
   
4. Leave a checklist by the door. This is especially helpful for when you're going away. My checklist includes making sure no major appliances are running, no candles are lit, no cups have been left near the computer (the cat likes to knock them over), etc.
   
   
5. Get your family in on the act. After I've checked, I'll ask my husband or teenager to double-check for me. Two sets of eyes are better than one.
   
   
6. Give a neighbor a key to your house so that you can ask THEM to check for you. I've done this for others as well.
   
   
7. Put your purse or wallet near the appliance. Like #2 above, you're not leaving your house without your ID and cash. When you find it, you'll know why it was there.
   
   

   

   When you remember your purse, you'll remember to check your appliance.

   
   
   
   
8. Give the house a once-over before you go to bed. Check every room. The time will be well spent and you won't wind up getting out of bed to check.
   
   
9. If you're worried about whether you've left your car doors/window open (hubby did this one time – ALL the windows and the moon roof - and it almost ruined his new car), check before you go to bed. I've gone outside many times in my jammies just before retiring, only to find out my daughter, unbeknownst to me, had left her window open a sliver. Thank goodness I checked!
   
   
   
   

   

   Remembering is sometimes hard.  Everyone needs tools to help!

   
   

Everyone is so busy these days, it's no wonder we don't forget more! It's always better to be safe than sorry. Hopefully, using these tips will save you some worry and reassure yourself that you're smarter and more aware than you think!

~~

I'm so happy you stopped by! 

Please come again!

Helping Your Child Overcome Separation Anxiety Or School Refusal – Empowering Parents Who Are At Our Wit's End

A few weeks ago, out of no where, my daughter started complaining of dizziness, headaches and stomach aches. The first time it happened, I let her stay home from school and, miraculously enough, about an hour after school had started, she made a full recovery. But the next morning, it happened again. When I explained that in light of the absence of a fever or vomiting, she had to power through the symptoms, she threw a hissy fit so severe that I physically couldn't get her to school. This prompted a visit to the pediatrician and eye doctor (for the headaches) who ruled out anything physical. Since then, she's thrown several more fits resulting in several days of missed school.

I was at my wit's end. I called Diva's teacher, the school nurse, guidance counselor, and a therapist I knew. All agreed that it sounded as if she was just tired. Yet despite an earlier bedtime and fewer after school activities, the fits persisted. I was convinced she was manipulating us, but the more I pushed her, the harder she fought back. Just getting her into the car was a monumental task. I didn't understand what was going on until I found this book at my library: Helping Your Child Overcome Separation Anxiety Or School Refusal by Andrew R. Eisen and Linda B. Engler.

This fairly short (181 pages), easy-to-read book shed some light on what Diva was going through. Apparently some children cannot express anxiety in any other way than through feeling what they call “sick”, usually with non-specific symptoms like tummy aches, headaches, dizziness, etc. These feelings are so unpleasant that the child also becomes nervous about feeling sick. They may feel unsafe in school and trapped, desperately clinging to Mommy or a safe adult. This makes parents feel like they're being manipulated and powerless, since you never know when your child is going to “pull” these fits. Your life becomes disrupted and you have no idea why. The book's authors assure the reader that far from being manipulative, these episodes are really a cry for help on the part of your child.

It delves into the nature of a kid's phobias, what they are, why they happen, and helps you understand what your child's safety needs are. It points out that the worries must be faced, not avoided, and suggests ways to gently help the child face those fears. More than anything else, it helped me come up with an action plan so that I can help Diva get through these episodes. In my case, some of the things I needed to do were get her to bed much earlier than I'd originally thought, start giving her more responsibility for packing her own lunch and snack (thus giving her more power over her world), allow her to pack her own backpack (again, an empowering thing), and get her up earlier so that she had more time to transition from waking up to getting out of the house. This week, Daddy is going to work a little later, just in case I do have trouble getting our daughter into the car and our plan is to periodically have Daddy do this, just to help both Diva and me. It also shows our daughter than we are both committed to helping her through this.

The book does warn, however, that even though the fears may be eliminated, there's always a chance that the child will backslide into them if the coping strategies are not maintained or if the kid experiences stress or any kind of separation-related transitions (like the beginning of camp or school). It also points out we, as adults, need to attend to our own mental wellness because anxious kids result in very apprehensive adults. Lastly, the authors explain optional treatments for severe anxieties, such as different types of therapy or medication.

Helping Your Child Overcome Separation Anxiety Or School Refusal is an empowering tool that demands work on the part of the parents. I actually read it while parked in a parking lot waiting for my son to come out of church so that I could really absorb what it was saying in peace. I also took notes and gave a copy of my action plan to the school counselor so that both the school and our family are on the same page and to show her that we are committed to eliminating or at least minimizing my daughter's future school absences.

If your child is experiencing separation anxiety or is refusing to go to school, this is a must-read book! At the least, it will help you understand what's going on with your child; at the most, it's a valuable tool to help you get through this period and end the struggle between you and your child. Help yourself and your family by reading it today.

``

 

Note:  This post originally appeared on thegeekparent.com.  Visit me there, too!