8 Tips For Going To Sleep & Getting Back To Sleep

 

One thing I never realized until I became a parent is that, for me, parenting affected the quality of my sleep. From the first night I brought Junior home, I became attuned to every little noise he made. I'm still attuned to my kids' voices and now, with menopausal hot flashes waking me up every night, I sometimes don't get much sleep at all. Recently, I discovered several things that actually help me get the number of hours of rest that I need to function. Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is just stuff that works for me. Please talk to your doctor before taking any herbal supplements.

Tip 1: Time your caffeine intake. Menopause does tricky things to your body including influencing how certain substances, like caffeine, affect it. I've found that drinking any kind of beverage containing this stimulant after 12 p.m. influences my sleep. Thus, after noon, I switch to seltzer, water, or decaf green tea. For more on caffeine and what it does to your brain, visit this article.

Tip 2: Stop all electronics and television use an hour or two before bed. The blue light from your phone and tablet negatively influence your sleep (for more on that, click on this article from Harvard Health. This was hard for me, but it helped.

Tip 3: Read a book. It relaxes the nerves and calms the mind. (For more on the benefits of sleep before bed, click here.)

Tip 4: Cultivate a sense of gratitude. Instead of worrying at night, I mentally list all of the things I'm thankful for. It relaxes me and gives me a sense of peace.

STOP ALL ELECTRONICS AND TELEVISION USE AN HOUR OR TWO BEFORE BED.  

Tip 5: Sleep in a cool room with some type of white noise. Your body needs to cool down in order to fall asleep and stay asleep. I use a fan which not only helps with the hot flashes, but fills the room with a nice, calming hum. I also use my Chillow when I have hot flashes (to read my review of the Chillow, click here.

Tip 6: Consider melatonin. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I sometimes use a low dose of melatonin with the blessing of my doctor. It helps me go back to sleep and doesn't leave me with the grogginess in the morning that over-the-counter medications did. For more on melatonin, click here.  

Tip 7: Clean your room. I'd heard that de-cluttering helped, but since I'm not the tidiest person, didn't believe it. Yesterday I actually did it and WOW! It did help! I look at my dresser and feel like I'm in a hotel. Apparently looking at the mess caused some stress. Now, no mess, less stress.

Tip 8: If you can't fall asleep or back to sleep in about 15 minutes or so, get out of the bed and go somewhere peaceful to read. 

 

Studies have proven the incredible benefits of sleep. It's essential to health and mood. If you can't sleep, try some of the above. They're working for me!

DO YOU HAVE ANY SLEEP TIPS?  I'D LOVE TO HEAR THEM!

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Thanks for reading!

Product Review: Soothsoft Mini Chillow

One of the more annoying byproducts of menopause is the hot flash. It's like someone instantly turned on a heater and you wonder why everyone around you isn't sweating. I haven't had too many hot flashes, but now that I'm getting at least one every night, it's getting on my nerves. I sleep with a fan on and make sure I have a bottle of ice water on my nightstand before I go to bed, but I've been curious about a product I'd seen advertised that supposedly helps with hot flashes.  It's called the  Chillow and it's a water-cooled cushion that contains memory foam to keep you cool without electricity. I'd read mixed reviews on Amazon, but with Summer coming up and the prospect of being even hotter and more uncomfortable, I bought, not the full one, but the less-expensive Mini model.

When you get it, you have to fill the Chillow up with water. This is the trickiest part because you will spill some. The trick is to hold the opening up with one hand while filling the product with the other hand. Then, after the foam absorbs the water, you carefully squeeze the air out during which you spill even more water. I had to squeeze the air out twice to have the Chillow look like it's supposed to in the instructions. You let the thing “rest” for four hours before using and, to get it even cooler, can put it in the refrigerator for up to 30 minutes before using.

After using the Mini Chillow for about a week now, I can tell you that it is not like putting your head on something uncomfortably cold; rather, it is cool to the touch. Since I don't have a hot flash until the middle of the night, I keep the product next to my bed and only use it when I wake up. This way, it's cool when I need it since I'd read that it can absorb body heat, just not as fast as a pillow. It does have a kind of weird, burnt smell that threw me off the first night or two that I used it, but that smell has subsided. Using it with a pillow case, obviously, raises the temperature a bit, however, since I don't mind sleeping on the plastic side of it, I sleep directly on it.

Does it help with the flashes? Yes. It is a “cure all” for them? No. I understand from some of the reviews on Amazon that the product tends to leak or smell funny after a year, but for under $20, I'm willing to spend that for something that helps me sleep. Also, I could see this helping one of the kids when they're running a fever since the temperature is quite soothing.

Try it if you have hot flashes at night. It's a nice, non-electronic, non-medicated way to help with these pesky byproducts of menopause. 

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Gift Suggestions For A Woman Going Through Menopause

Menopause can be a particularly stressful time for a woman. Much as in adolescence, her body is doing some crazy, unexpected things and her hormones are, shall we say, wonky.  So what can you get her that, hopefully, won't get you hit with a 2'x4' or worse? Here are some suggestions:

1. A LARGE reusable water bottle. Hot flashes may come fast and furious. Those of  us in this phase of life get thirsty! A pretty, easy-to-clean water bottle is a practical, thoughtful gift that doesn't scream, “Hey, Honey! I see you're going through The Change.” Everyone drinks water these days and this gift is just plain thoughtful. I
   

   

   These re-usable water bottles are pretty & practical!

   found the ones in the photo in my local grocery store.
   
2. Green Tea With Gingko & Ginseng. This phase of life can make a woman a bit forgetful. Various studies have indicated that green tea is one of the healthiest beverages you can drink and Salada's Brain Boost tea contains ginkgo (which is supposed to be good for memory) and ginseng (which allegedly boosts energy). I buy it at my local grocery store but Amazon also sells a similar product.
   
3. Fitness Equipment. Exercise is great for all aspects of health, so give her a piece of equipment she'll like. Just be sure to emphasize that you're giving her the equipment for the health benefits since she's already at the perfect weight. Honestly, I'm asking for WiiFit this holiday season because I'm tired of the few pieces of equipment I have.  It will also be be good for the whole family.
   
4. Something With A Lavender Fragrance. Whether it's a cologne spray, oil, or moisturizer, lavender has been proven to have a calming effect on the nervous system. Try getting her a small bottle of moisturizer and if she likes it, buy her more – stat!
   
5. A Small, Portable Fan. As I said, hot flashes can come at any time. Having a small, hand-held fan at the ready is mighty nice. When giving it to the lady, explain that some environments, even in the winter, can be warmer than others and you want her to be comfortable, no matter where she is.
   
6. Food. Unfortunately, the same foods one craves during menopause (like caffeine, alcohol, and sugary and spicy foods) can trigger hot flashes. You do not, however, want to get between a female and her craving! Buy her an “emergency” basket of coffee and/or chocolate that she can munch on at will.
   
7. Clothes made from moisture wicking material. When your temperature varies, having clothes that you can wear in layers that also carry moisture away from your skin help. To learn more about fabrics that wick moisture, visit www.wisegeek.com/what-is-wicking-material.htm. You can find clothes with this material at stores like Dick's Sporting Goods, Sports Authority, and even Sears.com which carries some office-worthy pieces. For moisture wicking night gowns, visit www.onestopmenopauseshop.com/product-category/gifts-fro-menopausal-women.
   
8. Tickets to Menopause The Musical. There's a reason this “celebration of women and the change” is a worldwide hit. Whether it's a professional or amateur production, buy her tickets and give her the option of going with friends or with you. Learn more at www.menopausethemusical.com.

In researching products for this post, I came across several sites that carry “humorous” gifts for the menopausal woman. I didn't include them in the body of the post because my goal is to help you choose a gift that won't cause a rift between you and the lady in question and because I wanted to list thoughtful items that, hopefully, won't get you hurt. Some of the sites contain genuinely cute things, but personally, I wouldn't want to advertise to the world via a t-shirt that I was going through The Change. Nevertheless, if you'd like to take a look at some of this merchandise, the links are:


http://www.cafepress.com/+menopause+gifts
http://www.zazzle.com/menopause+gifts
http://www.minniepauz.com/merchandise.html


There are also sites that list various “remedies” for menopause; one of them is www.wellbaskets.com/mehe.html. Amazon sells a similar basket at www.amazon.com/Deluxe-Menopause-Gift-Basket-Women/dp/B00147R2MM.


Again, if you're choosing a gift to address this phase of a woman's life, present while you let her know you're honestly trying to help. Be gentle and loving. Happy gifting!


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What's A Cat Got To Do With Menopause?

You may have noticed my cat on this blog. No, I am not a  crazy cat lady nor am I even a cat person (not that there's anything wrong with that), but this particular feline does, in fact, relate to my being in menopause

A very forgiving animal, indeed.

(or menopaws, if you will). She is also the result of the one time I overtly and successfully manipulated my husband. Here's the story.

For 13 years, we had a beagle named Bailey. The dog pre-dated my kids and we adored him even though he had a multitude of bad habits such as eating a full, raw head of cauliflower and then farting all night, eating unrisen bread dough resulting in a $500 vet bill,  and walking into telephone poles whenever a squirrel caught his eye. Bailey also had epilepsy, not his fault, but a challenge just the same. My husband and the beagle had a very close relationship (think Elliot and E.T.), so when the dog died, he could not bear to get another pet for quite a while.  Plus, we needed a break after having had an animal who required so much energy and damage control. 


Finally, after about three years without a large pet (the hamster didn't count), I wanted something.  I wanted a companion, someone who would like me even when the kids didn't. I realized that a dog would not fit into our schedule, so I started surfing pet adoption websites like some men surf for porn. Cats seemed to require much less work than dogs, so I learned more about them and realized I wanted one even though my husband and I remain dog people to this day.


Finally, when I turned 50, I asked my husband to at least entertain the possibility of another pet. I mean, a half century is a milestone birthday and it should be celebrated with something monumental, right? I started visiting a local shelter and tried to acquaint myself with the cats that were there. Several were cute and would have fit the bill, but we have a rule that for a new member to join the family, EVERYONE must agree to it. Hubby just wasn't there yet. However, one day, I did convince him to come with the kids down to the shelter to see the cute little kittens. He emphasized to the kids that there was a good possibility that we would NOT be bringing a new pet home and I fully agreed. Better to come home empty-handed than with something we would have to return.


We played with several kittens that day and had finally agreed on an energetic one named Feisty when we learned that she had already been taken. Her cagemate, however, was available. There she was, in the back of the cage, a little gray ball of fluff with a half pink-half gray nose. When I put my hand out, she licked it. I was in love. This was the half cat-half dog that I wanted. Hubby was still skeptical until I played a card I had only been thinking about, a full-fledged, obvious attempt at manipulation that I was ready to unleash with the force of a dozen hot flashes.

“We'll call her Cosette,” I said, knowing that Les Miserables is my husband's all-time favorite musical. His eyes lit up.  The name appealed to him and even though he knew that I was shamelessly trying to coerce him, he began humming a tune from the show. I joined in. Even the kids knew something magical was happening.


The rest is history. I mistakenly misspelled her name, so it remains Cossette or Cosy for short. She brushes off my hormonal moods, forgives any menopausal insanity, and it has not escaped me that my mid-life crisis pet is, in fact, gray, much like the color my own mane is turning. This feline is infinitely patient with my children and every night, serenades us with lovely music (we call it meowsic). She also brings me her toy and plays fetch until she gets bored (she is a cat, after all). One day, she will be my empty-nest friend when my kids go off to college.


You'll see Cossette from time to time. She makes the house a less-stressful place and makes me happy. I hope she brings a smile to your face, too.

Some Of My Favorite Menopause Jokes

At a bar mitzvah yesterday, the woman next to me asked what I do for a living.  When I explained that I'm a blogger and gave her the name of this site, she immediately launched into her own story of hot flashes and mayhem.  We also began trading menopause jokes.  In honor of another sister in menopause, here are some of my favorite jokes about The Change Of Life:

"Mom Having A Hot Flash" by the 8-year old

• If prison wardens were all menopausal women, crime would not exist.
• Trusting a menopausal woman to control her emotions is like trusting a tornado to mow your lawn.
• One way to make living with a menopausal woman easier is to pretend she was abducted by aliens and replaced by an imposter. But don't let her know or you'll be wishing aliens would abduct you.
• Where do 50-something people look for fashionable glasses?  Their foreheads.
• They're not hot flashes: they're power surges.
• What's the difference between a pit bull and a woman in menopause?  Lipstick.
• When is a smart man most likely to complain about the mood swings of his menopausal wife?  When she's not present.
• You know you have a menopausal brain when "getting lucky" means finding your car keys.
• If scientists ever find a cure for menopause, our big problem will suddenly become global cooling.
• What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? Keep very busy. 
   
   
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Tweets About Menopause - Part I

I just joined Twitter, that quickie-message social networking site, because I've been told it's a great place to promote my blog.  Don't know about that yet, but being on it does make me feel...modern.  I mean, Facebook is so fake, with people bragging about their kids, their lives, etc.  Life ain't THAT perfect, people!  And Instagram is TOO instant; I don't want to see the lives of my friends told in pictures (not that I run with a crowd that would).  But exchanging banter in 140 characters?  Now that's my kind of communication!

The aspect of Twitter that I'm enjoying most so far is reading what other people post, especially as it pertains to The Change Of life.  So for those who are not on Twitter yet, here are some of this week's more amusing Tweets about my dear friend, Menopause.

Just a few notes before we begin:

1.  Apparently spelling doesn't count on Twitter because the messages have to be brief.  I have, therefore, left the Tweeter's spelling intact.  Didn't want you to think that my Spell Check was broken.
2.  Any comments I might have (it IS my blog, after all) are in bold after the Tweet.

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"My mom started crying because her fruit snacks fell under her seat in the car... wtf...menapause?"  Maybe she just REALLY wanted those snacks!

"Trying to fall asleep with all the windows open, no covers and even cuddling with a ice pack, but its still too hot."

"Feel like karate kid part 10 with all of these hot flashes. sheets on / sheets off. gotta be a black belt by now."

"Another morning, another stressful 20 minutes for my dearest mother as she frets over where she's put the key."

"My moms mood swings < #Menapause . Go to sleep or something crazy women I'm watching tv."   Yes, because your TV watching is the most important thing on those women's minds.

"Bout to be a riot in this stadium. Refs better their backs before they get speared by angry middle aged women with pom pons."  Yes, and at our age, our pom pons are sagging and HEAVY!
"My mom just started crying because a little girl in the doctors office was crying because she didn't want a shot." 

"Currently leaving o'charlies because my mom wasn't happy with the bread roles."  Sorry, but those of us at a certain age are particular about our rolls. 

"A whole week away with the mother goose were not even at the airport yet and I could press the ejector seat button."

"It is freezing in my house n my moms got the AC on."

"Which kid is where?  Is that my husband?  No its the cat.  And it's hot in here...*#!"

"I think that girl got menapause cause everytime she walk by, Every man'll pause."  Yeah, great pick-up line.  Wanna pick-up middle-aged women?  Just carry a fan.

"My hairstylist shared with me today that her bf has one testicle & her pubic hair is thinning due to menapause."  My condolences to her best friend.

And my favorite Tweet of the week:  "OMG. I just realized that in order to be a"trophy wife, " I would have to marry a 90 year old man."

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By the way, if decide to join Twitter, look me up!  My Twitter name is IsItHotInHereMM.

Thank you for reading!!

"Mom In The Midst Of A Hot Flash" As Painted By The 7-Year Old

Damn!  She's accurate!