Getting Your Older Child Back To Sleep

Over the years, my children have periodically had trouble when they would wake up in the middle of the night and couldn't fall back to sleep. This hurt not only them, but my husband (minimally) and me (more, because I'm the one who invariably had to get them back to bed). My husband's first response in these situations was to punish the child. He believed they did it intentionally, as a power thing. I, on the other hand, cannot say no to a child who is honestly struggling with something and seeks help from his/her mother. Having tried his approach first, what I discovered is that when you a punish a child for not sleeping through the night, it makes things worse because that kid is then afraid to go to asleep at all.  Since I'm the Momager of all things child,  

Here's how I've approached the problem:

Helping your older child get back to sleep can be daunting.

1. Rule out the physical. Is there an internal reason the kid is waking up, like having to go to the bathroom? This could be an easy fix like “don't drink so much water before bedtime.” Or is it an external thing waking up the child. For example, is the pet hamster getting on its noisy wheel at 1am (solution: move the pet or bring a noise machine into the room) or the cat jumping on the kid's head (close the door to the room or move the feline to the basement at night).
   
   
   
   
2. Can sensual things help the child get back to sleep? Lavender on the pillow helps many people sleep, noise machines block out too much or too little sound, and softer blankets make it easier to snuggle back to Dreamland.
   
   
   
   
3. Is there something psychological going on? Sometimes a discussion on what's going on in your child's world can reveal the problem. Is there a problem with your child's friends? A daunting, upcoming test? Are they nervous about a sports event?  You can also place a pen and pad of paper next to the kid's bed so he/she can write down what they're thinking when they wake up (A dream? A nightmare?) and what thoughts prevent them from going back to sleep. My daughter asked if she can draw what's bothering her – YES!!! Any way they can achieve peace-of-mind is a good thing.
   
   
   
   
4. How can they help themselves go back to sleep?  By reading for a bit?  Or playing soft music or a book on CD to lull them into unconsciousness?  The idea is to empower them. 

By becoming a co-problem solver, you're strengthening your bond with your child and diffusing the situation.  It's no longer "their" problem; you're working as a team to get through this situation.  

Coming up with innovative sleep solutions can help.

For my son's sleeping problem, the answer came by looking outside the box. We settled on this and it worked: if he really needed to come into our room, he could NOT wake us up. We'd leave blankets and a pillow in a corner of the room so that when he came in, he'd grab them and sleep on the floor. He knew we were near, went back to sleep and we slept through the nice peacefully. Eventually, he outgrew this pattern. 

Now my daughter is facing her own sleeping challenge. At least once a week, she comes looking for me. Sending her back to her room doesn't work since she tearily informs me she just CAN'T go back to sleep. She's tried reading knows she cannot pick up her iPod (the light has been known to throw off circadian rhythms). What I've done is given her a transitional object - something of mine that smells like me. A nightgown works just fine. She wakes up, takes one whiff of the nightgown, smells that Mom is close by, and goes back to sleep.

Will this coping mechanism always work? I don't know, but it is for now. If it doesn't, we'll just brainstorm something else and, if need be, call in a professional for guidance. But I feel that working with the child instead of assuming that they're subconsciously trying to “pull one over on us” IS the answer to helping older children fall back to sleep.

Please that I am not a medical or psychological professional. I am just one mother telling you what's working for me.

What's working, or not working, for you?

5 Foods To Help With Sleep

Ever since menopause hit, I've had trouble sleeping. While the supplement melatonin has been a lifesaver for me (and sanctioned by my doctor), I try not to take it, preferring to eat or drink things that will help me sleep rather than take a pill.

Here are the 5 foods that help me the most when it comes to getting to and staying asleep.  

Please note: I am not a doctor or health professional. I'm just telling you what works for me.

If only I could sleep as soundly as my cat!

 

• Cherry Juice - Cherries, especially tart cherries, naturally boost the body's level of melatonin. Now, I find it can be a bit harsh on the stomach, so I mix it with seltzer. I've also given this to my kids and it helps them sleep.

The calcium plus cherry power makes this a powerful sleep aid!

•  Greek Yogurt - Really, any food high in calcium will help you sleep (thus the age-old recommendations to drink warm milk before bed). Greek yogurt has twice as much protein as regular yogurt which leaves your tummy feeling full before bed. Better yet – try cherry Greek yogurt. My favorite is Chobani Black Cherry Yogurt which not only contains cherries, but cherry juice.

• Chamomile Tea – A popular choice for bedtime, my kids swear by this! When Hurricane Sandy hit and we were all stressed from seven days without power, my kids had a cup of this every night. They still ask for it when they can't sleep. Chamomile tea increases glycine which relaxes nerves and acts like a mild sedative. Add honey – the natural sugar raises insulin levels and helps tryptophan (an amino acid which also helps with sleep) enter the brain.  I keep a cup of chamomile tea (without honey) beside my bed in case I wake up at night.  It helps me go back to sleep. 

• Bananas – These fruits are rich in potassium and are a good source of Vitamin B6 which your body needs to produce melatonin. Plus, they're a great comfort food.

• Fortified Cereals – These are cereals in which extra vitamins are added to the original ingredients. They contain Vitamin B6 which, again, your body needs to make melatonin. Our favorites are Cheerios and Special K. Added bonus: the milk you pour over the cereal contains calcium for even more sleep-inducing power.

I remember reading that white foods, like rice and pasta, will also help you sleep, but I try to avoid high carb foods. In fact, I really do limit my intake of cereal.

Want to read about more foods that help with sleep? Click here.

Off to get my cup of chamomile tea now!

These foods have me sleeping like a baby!

Thank you for reading and SWEET DREAMS!

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8 Tips For Going To Sleep & Getting Back To Sleep

 

One thing I never realized until I became a parent is that, for me, parenting affected the quality of my sleep. From the first night I brought Junior home, I became attuned to every little noise he made. I'm still attuned to my kids' voices and now, with menopausal hot flashes waking me up every night, I sometimes don't get much sleep at all. Recently, I discovered several things that actually help me get the number of hours of rest that I need to function. Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional. This is just stuff that works for me. Please talk to your doctor before taking any herbal supplements.

Tip 1: Time your caffeine intake. Menopause does tricky things to your body including influencing how certain substances, like caffeine, affect it. I've found that drinking any kind of beverage containing this stimulant after 12 p.m. influences my sleep. Thus, after noon, I switch to seltzer, water, or decaf green tea. For more on caffeine and what it does to your brain, visit this article.

Tip 2: Stop all electronics and television use an hour or two before bed. The blue light from your phone and tablet negatively influence your sleep (for more on that, click on this article from Harvard Health. This was hard for me, but it helped.

Tip 3: Read a book. It relaxes the nerves and calms the mind. (For more on the benefits of sleep before bed, click here.)

Tip 4: Cultivate a sense of gratitude. Instead of worrying at night, I mentally list all of the things I'm thankful for. It relaxes me and gives me a sense of peace.

STOP ALL ELECTRONICS AND TELEVISION USE AN HOUR OR TWO BEFORE BED.  

Tip 5: Sleep in a cool room with some type of white noise. Your body needs to cool down in order to fall asleep and stay asleep. I use a fan which not only helps with the hot flashes, but fills the room with a nice, calming hum. I also use my Chillow when I have hot flashes (to read my review of the Chillow, click here.

Tip 6: Consider melatonin. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I sometimes use a low dose of melatonin with the blessing of my doctor. It helps me go back to sleep and doesn't leave me with the grogginess in the morning that over-the-counter medications did. For more on melatonin, click here.  

Tip 7: Clean your room. I'd heard that de-cluttering helped, but since I'm not the tidiest person, didn't believe it. Yesterday I actually did it and WOW! It did help! I look at my dresser and feel like I'm in a hotel. Apparently looking at the mess caused some stress. Now, no mess, less stress.

Tip 8: If you can't fall asleep or back to sleep in about 15 minutes or so, get out of the bed and go somewhere peaceful to read. 

 

Studies have proven the incredible benefits of sleep. It's essential to health and mood. If you can't sleep, try some of the above. They're working for me!

DO YOU HAVE ANY SLEEP TIPS?  I'D LOVE TO HEAR THEM!

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Thanks for reading!