Discovering YOUR Look After The Diaper-Bag Years

Recently, I admired an acquaintance’s shoes while we were waiting on the blacktop. “Oh yeah,” she said. “I decided, now that my youngest is in kindergarten, to finally get 'grown-up' shoes again. It was a lot harder than I thought. I don't know how to find a new look!” I immediately understood. Once a mother is past the diaper-bag and toddler stages of her littlest one's life, she often realizes that that all of her clothes, shoes, and accessories are utilitarian, rather than fashionable. They're designed to hide spit stains, are easy on/easy off, good for wrestling and chasing children in, and have enough room for diapers, snacks, drinks, extra clothes, toys, etc.

Discovering your look at different stages of your life can be VERY challenging!

 

In Charise's case, not only were her clothes more practical than pretty, but she had no idea who she is now. We aren't the women we were before we had our children. We're older and possibly in a different decade of our lives. We may not be working while our wardrobes are still predominately business attire. We often have a better idea of what the other people in our lives think we should look like (husbands, partners, parents, friends) rather than knowing what WE like.

So how to you discover your look NOW? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Look at magazines and websites. Put down the parenting rags and look at sources designed for people of your own age and situation. For example, Charise is no longer a working, 30-something Wall Street manager; she's now a 40-something stay-a-home mother whose needs are different than they were before. She wants stylish clothes that fit her daily life. You'll find a list of helpful sites at the end of this post.
   
   
2. Take some time to yourself to investigate stores you like and try on different clothes. Yes, this is time-consuming and I, for one, find it unpleasant, but it's necessary. You don't have to buy from those stores, but trying garments on will give you an idea of what looks good on you and what you like. Take pictures with your camera phone. You can always order styles online, often at a fraction of the cost of store inventory.
   
   
3. Notice women you admire who might be in situations similar to yours with similar body types. I've admired women on the blacktop, in the grocery store, and even waiting for my daughter at gymnastics. I keep watching them to see what pieces they have in their wardrobe that I like and try to remember for when I do go shopping for myself. 
   
   
4. Don't be afraid to shop in the mens or other departments. Some of the best flannel shirts I've ever bought, good for hanging out in on snowy days or wearing over leggings to a friend's house have come from the mens section of a store. 
   
   
5. Look for multi-purpose pieces. Large scarves are not only fashionable, but can be worn as shawls on cold days. Scarves themselves add a sophisticated touch to any wardrobe. Intimidated by how to fold them? Here's a link that will show you 38 (!) ways to tie a scarf.
   
   
6. For hairstyles, again, check out websites or go to a hair salon you trust and ask what they suggest. Now that you're no longer limited by the prospect of a baby hanging on to your locks for dear life, you have many more options. (One of my most liberating moments was when I realized that could, once again, wear dangle earrings without the fear of a baby tearing off my earlobe.)
   
   
7. Find out what a store's return policy is before you buy those heels. I think fashion should be practical and without pain, so even though you don't have to dash after a toddler anymore, nor should your feet suffer with blisters just so you can look good. 
   
   
8. Don't forget to check your closet for pieces you can use. I have so many purses that are still useful. I've glued on flowers or other decorative pieces to update them and make them coordinate with what I'm wearing. Here's where you can put your creative juices to good use!
   
   
   
   

   

   My formerly-stained purse.  I just glued a flower over the stain and now it works!

   
   

And again, think about what YOU like! Just because your mother says you should dress in black because “it looks slimming, Dear” doesn't mean you have to. If your husband wants you to wear heels when you go out, but they kill your feet, invite him to wear them instead! Your appearance says everything about you, the real you, not the “box” others have placed you in. Embrace yourself for the person you are NOW, not the shadow who you once were. The diaper-bag and toddler years are over – go find yourself!

Here are some resources to find the look you want at any age:

Hairstyles For Fall/Winter 2014: http://www.fashionisers.com/trends/fall-winter-2014-2015-hairstyle-trends/ (Hint: variations on the pony tail are hot this season!)

Fall/Winter 2014 Fashion: http://www.thekeytochic.com/2013/08/fall-winter-2014-2015-fashion-trend.html and http://thebestfashionblog.com/womens-fashion/fall-winter-2014-2015-womens-fashion-trends

How To Update Your Wardrobe When You're On A Budget: http://budgetstyle.about.com/od/styleessentials/ht/How-To-Update-Your-Wardrobe-On-A-Tight-Budget.htm

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Thanks for visiting! Please come again! 

Please note that this post originally appeared, as a guest post, on the website htttp://welcometothewackadoodles.blogspot.com.

Fashion And Why It Matters (No BS - It Really Does)

The headlines from the latest Fashion Week in Europe on my AP phone app read.  "Young Designers Energize In Milan," "Giorgio Armani Gets Last Word In Milan: Diaphanous, " "Milan Designers Engage In Season-Bending," and "Marni Obliterates Minimalism."  I don't understand half of it.  It barely registers in my brain while at the same time that I am aware that fashion shows have become a form of entertainment for the masses.  Once the domain of the rich, these designer showcases are now available for ordinary people to see thanks to greater media coverage and the universality of the Web.  And , like it or not, these circus shows affect all of us. 

The word "fashion" comes from the Latin word "factionem" or "group of people acting together."  Literally, it means "a making or doing" (source:  www.etymonline.com).  So it was always about what other people were doing, being aware of  how those outside oneself looked.  Perhaps it started as a survival technique when primitive humans needed to see if a neighbor was carrying a weapon, but first impressions were always made based on what one was wearing.  "Does Ogg have a dagger concealed in his tunic" evolved into "doesn't Madam Oggitha look lovely in that tunic?"  And while whether seasonal fashion trends are positive or negative may be debatable, the fact is that what appears on the runway, or what is in "fashion" runway trickles down into what we all wear. 

One of the most influential fashion writers of the 1950's and 60's, Eugenia Sheppard, said, "To call fashion 'wearable' is the kiss of death.  No new fashion worth its salt is wearable" (Sheppard, New York Herald Tribune, January, 13, 1960).  How ironic, because designers have become all too aware that they can make mega money by emulating major designers.  Mainstream retailers such as Macy's, Sears, Target, QVC, and The Home Shopping Network now work with trend-setters to modify clothes which appear on the stick-figure models so that the average Size 14 woman can wear them with pride, or at least with minimal embarrassment. 


My daughter conforms to fashion trends because her friends do (and they care about it because their parents do).   At age 7, Diva wants, though fortunately does not crave, acceptance from her peers  I don't want to concern myself with what is "in,"  but to some degree need to because I do not exist in a vacuum.  Despite the fact that I am a stay-at-home mother, I am still seen on the blacktop and around town.  I dress "fashionably" soas not to embarrass my daughter and because the stores only sell certain types of clothes, garments certainly influenced by those far-away runway designers.  

Just as those celebrities who sit along the runway are entertained, so am I but on a local level.  Some of the moms in my affluent town will soon be sporting the latest designer clothes now draping the models in Milan.  These women will be traipsing over to their expensive hair salons to keep up with the latest trends,spending hundreds of dollars on their hair/nails/clothes.  And they'll soon be strutting on the blacktop at dismissal time for their peers and the progeny of those peers (my daughter's friends) to see.  I was amused, a few years ago, to see one of our local crossing guards manning her corner decked out in a fur coat and stilettos .  Again, her only job was to help kids cross a busy street!  She could have been dressed in jeans and a down jacket to do that job.  Whether the fur was real or not, whether the stilettos were designer or knock-offs doesn't matter.  She felt the need to don the latest fashion.  It was just another example that what happens in the world of Fashion trickles down and affects us all.

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My Product Review for today is:   Vintage Seltzer

I'm not a fan of drinking  plain old water, so this stuff adds a pop of flavor and bubbles while still giving the body much-needed H20. Obviously it has no calories or sugar.  Honestly, it's not any better than my local supermarket's brand, but again, seltzer itself is a nice alternative to water.  My kids are not allowed to drink sugary soda, so this is what my son prefers to drink. Add a splash of juice for a tad more flavor or mix it with wine for a spritzer.  But don't pour it into your water bottle and then close the lid - it'll pop open. 

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Here's a Recommendation:  Biotene Dry Mouth Oral Rinse

When I mentioned to my dentist that I was waking up in the wee hours of the morning parched to get a sip of water, he said this was called dry mouth (or xerostomia) and it can be one of the byproducts of the sweating caused by hot flashes.  It's problematic from a dental perspective because saliva helps prevent tooth decay by limiting bacterial growth and washing away food particles.  He suggested Biotene.  Swishing it before bedtime relieves nighttime dry mouth so there's no need to drink water in the wee hours.

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TTFN (that's Tigger for "Ta-Ta For Now")!  Please come back in a day or so for more!