Note NOW How To Make The Holidays Better Next Year

Christmas is always a mixed bag. Despite what you see on Facebook, I doubt that Christmas (or Hanukkah, for that matter) is blissful for everyone, every year. 

So while the holidays are fresh in your memory, why not consider how to make them better for you and your family next year? Here's how I'm going to do it:

Despite our best intentions, the holidays are rarely perfect.

Think About What Worked And Do It Again Next Year

• What presents were hits? Can you learn from those? For example, Snap Circuits (an electronics building kit) were not on my daughter's list, but she has been playing nonstop with it. Lesson for me: look for more educational activities that she'll love.
  
  
• Which activities were enjoyed the most? 
  
  
• Which foods did people absolutely LOVE?
  
  
• Who did you invite that you really would love to invite again? Or are there people you didn't invite that you'd like to next year?
  
  
• Did anyone really love something you did that you can do next year? For example, I used some of these ways to wrap gift cards and a few were a bit hit with the Teen.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

Consider What Didn't Work And How You Can Change That

• What was your biggest challenge on Christmas? How can you change that for next year? For example, I really resented being The Waitress the whole friggin' day without anyone asking me for help! Next year, my husband and I have agreed that we'll be going out for Christmas dinner. That will take the pressure off me, means the people who didn't like my menu can order for themselves and we'll all have a happier holiday.
  
  
• If you have to invite someone you can't stand, how can you make the experience better? We've learned that it's easier to tolerate my mother-in-law when there are other, non-family members present; they seem to dilute the mix. So we invite friends we know tend to spend the holiday alone, to be with us. We get to spend time with them, they have fun with us, and the Voldemort is on “best” behavior in front of company.
  
  
• Are there things you did that you shouldn't do next year? For example, we have WAAAY to many decorations out this year. The living room looks cluttered and they're a pain to dust. Next year we go minimal.
  
  
• What traditions are ready to be retired? Remember that YOU make the rules for your family and you're not responsible for everyone having a good time. Change the mix up a bit if you want to and if people can't handle it, that's THEIR issue.
  
  

I'm taking notes and adding them to my Christmas card spreadsheet for next year. That way, when I take out my list, my ideas and reflections will be right there with plenty of time to take action. 

How did your Christmas go? 

Chores For Teens: They NEED Them

Since a very young age, Junior has been EXPECTED to help around the house.  We always figured that maintaining the house was a group effort and there was no reason even a little kid couldn't help.   As he's grown, his list of chores has varied, primarily due to his time constraints and my low level of patience in getting them done. My son used to be in charge of emptying the dishwasher until I got tired of having a sink piled with dishes awaiting my trusty “emptier.” Some of the tasks he's done or is still doing include:

1. Matching socks
2. Vacuuming the first floor of the house
3. Shoveling snow
    
4. Raking leaves (which even his little sister helps out with)
5. Babysitting (since age 13)
6. Cooking microwaveable meals                                                                      
   
   
7. Dusting
8. Helping his father assemble things (furniture, our gas grill, toys, etc.)
9. Taking out the garbage
   
   
10. Taking the recycling to the curb
11. Wheeling garbage and recycling containers back to the side of the house
12. Clearing the table after meals
    
    
13. Helping his little sister with her homework
    

This year, we're giving him even more responsibility. He spent weeks complaining about how our Wifi is “lagging,” so last night, when it crashed, we had him call the cable company. He spent 30 minutes on hold before speaking to the firm's representative; then he had to give the rep our account number, etc., and go through the directed diagnostics to fix the problem. When the call was over, Junior said to me, “Mom, NOW I know how much time you've spent on the phone and why you've been so frustrated calling companies over the years! Now I get it.” Next week he'll start making his own appointments: barber, dentist, doctor, etc.

Other benefits of giving your teens more and more to do include:

1. It helps them prepare for being on their own.
2. Kids develop confidence in themselves.
3. They empathize with you for doing it for them all these years.
4. It helps them acquire a sense of responsibility and pride in their accomplishments.
5. Chores help them see themselves as important members of the family.
6. It helps them give back to the family.
7. It frees you to other things.
8. It provides a positive model for younger siblings.
9. It gives them a chance to fail and learn from their actions.
10. It emphasizes the need for order and keeping things clean. 
    
    
    
    
    GIVING THEM THINGS TO DO HELPS THEM BECOME MORE INDEPENDENT AND RESPONSIBLE. 

Sure, he complains about some of his chores and I sometimes have to repeat myself a bit more than I'd like, but overall, the kid is rising to the various challenges. I make sure that I'm flexible and sensitive to his schedule and that I praise him when he's done. Junior is earning his money, but more importantly, he's becoming more assertive and independent. And that's a process I'm privileged to watch. 

~~

Thanks for reading!  Come back again, won't you?