Adoptive Parents: How Would YOU Have Handled This?

“Mom, Mrs. Craftson wants to talk to you.” As my child announced this upon dismissal from school, I was a little nervous. Mrs. Craftson NEVER wants to talk to me. Turns out, I need not have worried. 

“We're going to be discussing immigration and having Immigration Day next week. How do you want me to handle it?” 

She asked me that because my daughter is adopted and the teacher was showing sensitivity to Diva's background. Still, it caught me off guard.

Since my daughter is Chinese and the rest of the family is not, it is readily apparent that she is adopted. She and I have given school presentations on it over the years, enlightening students as to what adoption is and answering any questions the children might have. Diva is proud of her Chinese heritage and readily talks about her background. After thinking for a moment, here was my response to Mrs. Craftson's question:

“When you're discussing immigration and family trees, please mention that families come together in many ways, so immigration is about your family's background, no matter how your family was formed.”

Diva came home a few days later and asked what her heritage is, besides being Chinese. That started a wonderful conversation about my background and that of my husband. When she needed to dress like an immigrant, she chose to be someone from Italy because, she said, “That's where our family's ancestors came from.”

 

It wasn't that she'd forgotten her background; rather, she was embracing our entire family's origins. 

Blood may determine genetics, but I don't believe it determines who is in your family.  So many of my friends are FAMILY to me.  Diva belongs to me, no matter how she came to be mine. 

Every once in a while I, as the parent of an adopted child, get thrown a curve ball, something that parents of biological parents to not experience (I know because I also have a biological child). I've found that tackling the question head on, and emphasizing that families DO come together in many ways is the best way to handle heritage questions. Adoption is an amazing way to grow a family and I'm delighted that the educators I've met thus far are sensitive to the feelings of adopted children. 

So, do you think I handled this correctly?  If not, what would you have done?

Is 2015 The Chinese Year Of The Sheep Or Goat? Here's The Scoop!

As many of us prepare to celebrate the start of the Chinese New Year on February 19^th, the festival begins with a little confusion:

Should we be welcoming the Year Of The Sheep, as some believe, or The Year Of The Goat/Ram, as others are touting?

The answer?  It really depends on how the Chinese character, yang, is translated. 

The Chinese zodiac was invented by the Han people who raised goats (not sheep), so the image is more likely to refer to a goat. Also, the goat appears on many Chinese zodiac stamps and the goat was one of the 12 bronze statues on the zodiac at the Old Summer Palace where emperors of the Qing Dynasty handled government affairs. Publicly, however, storefronts throughout Asia are showing a mixture of cute sheep, cheeky goats, and majestic curly-horned rams. Many schools are primarily showing images of sheep because they're fluffy and more appealing to little kids. 

So what are the characteristics of those born in the Year Of The Sheep/Goat?

People born in this year are thought to be gentle, stable, and kind. They have strong creativity, are persistent, with strong inner resilience. These are folks who like to be in groups and are thought to come by professional skills easily. Because people born in this year are calm, they're thought to be healthier, with fewer health-related problems. 

Here are three of my favorite websites for kids that will teach them all about this holiday:

1.  ChinaFamilyAdventure

This site explains how to prepare for the New Year and shows celebrations around the world. It gives a great global perspective on the holiday (after all, it's celebrated by millions of people not only in China, but Japan, Singapore, North Korea, South Korea, the United States, and Great Britain to name a few). 

2.  ActivityVillage.Co.UK

Got a preschooler?  Then this is the place for you where you'll find lots of goat printables, including mazes, worksheets, and coloring pages.  

3.  EnchantedLearning.Com

In addition to having some wonderful crafts, you can find printable books here for kids!  There's so much and it's FREE! 

As the mother of a child who was adopted from China, I embrace her culture. I'm so happy that she is proud to be Chinese-American and feels a connection to her country of birth!  I've learned so much about resilience, beauty, and creativity by looking at different aspects of China and what it means, to her, to be Chinese.

 Xin [sing] Nian [nee-an] Kuai [kwai] Le [ler] 新年快乐!

Finally! HERE'S What To Do With Those Leftover Wonton Noodles!

We eat a LOT of Chinese food in this house and every time, I'm left with many packages of wonton noodles. You know, those crispy fried noodles you dip in duck sauce. Okay, so they're probably not the healthiest food in the world, but being the frugal mom that I am, I have trouble throwing anything out. Yes, I've given the noodles to my kids instead of chips, but I FINALLY used my noodle to come up with a recipe to use those left over ones. I vaguely remember doing something like this in my Home Economics class eons ago, so this recipe is definitely based on that. 

Here are the noodles I'm talking about:

I believe these are called wonton noodles.  If you know them by another name, please email me so I can correct this post.

And the recipe is called: 

Candied Wonton Noodles

Ingredients:

A few packages of wonton noodles

One half package (6 ounces) of Wilton Candy Melts in whatever flavor you want

Pam or non-stick spray

An 8x8 or so pan

Any other goodies you want to add (see suggestions below)

Directions: 

1,  Spray your pan with non-stick spray.

2.  Melt the candy melts in the microwave (in a glass bowl and microwave them for a minute, stir them, and if they're not melted, microwave them for 30 seconds at a time, checking them after each interval).

3.  Mix the candy into the noodles, making sure the noodles are mostly covered by the candy.

4.  Spread the resulting mixture in the pan, add any toppings (optional), and freeze for about 5 minutes.

5.  Take the candy out and either pick at it with your fingers or cut it with a knife.

Here's what it looks like.

I could see adding nuts, caramel, marshmallows, or sprinkles (like I topped the mix with above). I think I'll add whole flax seeds for additional (or any) nutrition the next time I make it.

This is a great recipe for kids to help with since it doesn't involve baking. With many of us going out for Chinese food on Christmas (my husband tells me that's what a lot of Jewish people do), there are going to be lots of leftover wonton noodles. Don't throw them away! Use them to make this delicious candy! It combines crunch with sweetness and has been a big hit in my house.

Merry Christmas! 

The Lessons Of An American Girl Doll

Once there was a little girl who, for a long time, had wanted an American Girl Doll.  Yes, this is my little girl, Diva, and she's pretty typical, right?  At a certain age, lots of girls crave these mass-marketed dolls who not only have their own stores, but tony clothing, accessories, a hair salon, and even wheelchairs and hearing aids.

 

We, her parents, questioned her motivation.  Did she want one just because all of her friends did? Probably.  Or did she want one because of the series of American Girl Doll movies and books that had enthralled her over the last few years? Maybe.   Whatever the reason, our little one's longing had remained strong over the last three years.  Unfortunately, we and Santa (whom she did repeatedly ask) had been on budgets and American Girl Dolls retail for about $110 dollars; that's damn pricey for a toy!  Still, an American Girl doll remained at the top of Diva's Wish List.

This year, for her 8th birthday, we told her she could have one IF (and it was a big IF), she could stick to a budget as we planned her birthday party.  She and I had a long talk.  Our house is too small for more than a few kids, so we looked at the usual kids' party venues.   The big places (gymnastics locations, Build-A-Bear, various crafting studios) were way out of her price range; they average $500 and up.  We thought about some of the stuff we'd done over the summer; we'd been bowling quite a bit and Diva loved it.  Turns out, having a bowling party fit our budget nicely.  She did the math to see how many people she could invite while staying within our number and whittled down the attendee list on her own.  She explained to friends who were not included that as much as she wanted them there, Mom was limiting the number of guests (I'll take the hit - I don't care). 

Having met her goal of staying within budget, it finally came time to pick a doll.  She initially looked at the blond-haired, blue-eyed models she usually gravitates to, but after much consideration picked out one that surprised us.  The Chosen One has  black hair and dark chocolate-colored eyes.  And she is "Chinese" - just like my daughter!  This is significant for, you see, my Diva is adopted from China.  And while she is extremely proud of her heritage and we had gotten her Asian-looking dolls in the past, this was the first time that SHE chose one that looked like her.  Plus, this doll is a gymnast, just like our graceful Diva.  We heartily approved. 

Sunday morning, my radiant daughter and her Daddy boarded a train into the City to get the doll named Ivy.  The train left at 8:30am; my daughter was up at 5.  She was beaming all day, like a proud momma.  She introduced me to Ivy and showed me her silky black hair and almond-shaped eyes.  She made sure her new friend was securely buckled into the car for a short trip to the grocery store.  Diva is already planning to expand Ivy's wardrobe but knows she will have to save up for the extra clothes; we're exploring some of the discount doll clothes websites.

What, perhaps, started out as the desire for something that her peers have has morphed into so much more.  It's been a lesson in delaying gratification, earning what she wants through budgeting, and embracing her own appearance.  As we read the book that came with Ivy in which she "battles lonliness" and finds "solace in gymnastics," I'm looking forward to discussing some of these issues with my precious little girl.  This American Girl Doll could be the begining of a closer relationship with my daughter.  Or Ivy could wind up just another discarded toy on the shelf.  I have my hopes up, but only Time will tell.