Why Teens Should Be At Your House & How To Make It Teen-Friendly

The volume is deafening.  Think sporting-event loud. Nine teens are squeezed into my tiny den playing video games. They laugh, yell, and the occasional curse word invades the air. They're having a ball! Better yet, my son (somewhere in their midst) is beaming. This happens almost every Friday night – a gathering, dinner, late departures. My husband, getting tired of the cost to feed this pack, asked, “Why are they always HERE?” Answer:

We WANT The Teenagers At Our Place!

Here's Why

You WANT Your Teen At Your House!

1. At this age, your kid is largely who his peers are. Without the intimacy of grammar school and the connections you make on the blacktop, you don't know who your teen is hanging with, who he's influenced by. Actually SEEING and meeting these people is invaluable. You can get a sense of what a kid is like, especially if you hang back and surreptitiously watch and listen to them interact.
   
   
   
   
2. When friends' parents pick up, you get a chance to meet and chat them up. Getting a sense of someone's family values is important and will make you feel easier when your kid goes over their house.
   
   
   
   
3. You can get a sense of how those friends treat others. Junior's little sister will sometimes hang with the teens for a bit (until I call her out). We've had boys make fun of Lily and treat her roughly (push her out of the way, etc.). I was not happy and made sure that my son stood up for his little sister in the future. Conversely, there have been friends of Junior's who have offered to play with Lily, helped her with homework, and been quite kind to her. I LOVE those kids!
   
   
   
   
4. It gives your child a chance to act the role of Host which is important socially. Responsibilities include offering friends drinks, snacks, serving dinner, and seeing their friends out with the polite “thank you for coming.”
   
   
   
   
5. It's rewarding. My kids have more friends than I ever had at this age. These are people he sees at school and chats with online. In some ways, they're an extension of our family.
   
   

There have to be rules for when Teens (or anyone) visits

Now, in order for these gatherings to happen, I've set some Ground Rules

1. I have to know, in advance, approximately how many people are coming. This is a practical thing since I need to know how much food to have on hand. I've put out 5 bags of chips and found them gone in 10 minutes. These kids can eat!
   
   
   
   
2. There has to be a set departure time. We've had kids come and leave way too late, to the point where either my husband or I had to stay up just to keep an eye on things. That doesn't happen anymore.
   
   
   
   
3. Junior know he has to clean up as soon as his guests depart.   That means vacuuming the den, cleaning up errant plates, cups, etc., and taking out the kitchen garbage. 
   
   
   
   
4. When my daughter is around, the boys CANNOT curse. Yeah, once in a while a forbidden word flies out, but most kids are immediately apologetic. 
   
   

So HOW can you make your house 

Teen Friendly? 

1. Give them space. I wish we had a dedicated space for them, but we don't. So they gather in the den and I basically leave them alone. They don't want me in there except to deliver snacks and I respect that.
   
   
   
   
2. Have LOTS of snacks and drinks on hand. Paper cups  and plates are a MUST and if you don't want to wash bowls for snacks, buy some disposable aluminum baking pans. 
   
   
   
   
3. Make dinner simple. We go through frozen pizza like it's water. Other popular dishes include macaroni and cheese (CHEAP!!!), pasta, and tacos made in the crockpot.
   
   
   
   
4. Keep your Wifi password handy. They're going to want to log into your Wifi – place it on a piece of paper so they can pass it around. It's easier than repeating it ad nauseum.
   
   
   
   
5. Limit sibling interference. Lily can hang with them for about 5 minutes before I usher her from the room. 
   
   

There's nothing better than seeing my teen (this is not him) happy!

Having a group of teens over is loud, messy, and ultimately, a lot of fun. These gatherings create wonderful memories for my son and I cherish the smile on his face when I see him with his friends. Best of all, I know what he's up to when he's home. 

Our kids grow up in the blink of an eye. Cherish your time around them and BE the place they want to hang.

Thanks for reading!  

In Honor Of National Pet Day: 5 Tips For Choosing The RIGHT Pet For Your Family

It's National Pet Day and while everyone is focusing, rightly so, on pet adoptions, the first thing you REALLY need to consider when thinking about a pet is:

HOW DO YOU FIND THE RIGHT PET? 

We wanted a dog, but a cat fits our lifestyle better.

Here are some tips:

1. Consider the time you have to devote to and take care of a pet.  Are both adults working? Are the kids old enough to responsibly care for one? This will help you determine if you need a low-maintenance animal (like a fish or cat) or can handle one that requires more care (like dogs or large birds).
   
   
2. Think about health issues. Sure, you might want a rabbit, but if someone in the family is allergic, you can rule that one out. 
   
   
3. Take into account where you live. Do you live in a high-rise in the city or have you got some land. You don't want to cram a large dog into small living quarters. Do you live in condo where pets may be frowned upon? 
   
   
4. Discuss any fears family members might have. I love snakes but am afraid of the live crickets I'd have to feed them, plus my husband fears these reptiles, so snakes are not welcome in my home.
   
   

5. 

   LOVE guinea pigs, but I'm allergic.  No piggies for us.

   Hold a family meeting to discuss the plan, stressing that finding the RIGHT pet can take quite a bit of time.  This is not a decision to be made lightly.  Plan on visiting a number of pet stores and/or shelters to find the right fit for your family.   
   
   
   
   
   
   

Once you think you've narrowed down the type of pet you want, research it, speak with people who have that pet, grill the salespeople at your local pet store (if they carry that animal) or at your local shelter.

It's better to know as much as you can, so you make the RIGHT decision.

What kind of pet do YOU have?  And if you don't, what kind would you like if you could have ANY animal?

I would LOVE a hedgehog!