Snow Joke! Funnies To Warm You Up This Winter

"Knock-knock!  Knock-knock!  Why won't you say, "Who's there?'"

I'm struggling, seriously struggling, to find humor in this brutal Winter weather. So here are some jokes I'd like to share with you:


It Was So Snowy That...

• UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii.
  
• The squirrels in the park started throwing themselves at an electric fence.
  
• Roosters began rushing into Popeye's Chicken to throw themselves in the fryer.
  
• Children were using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pajamas haven't thawed out yet!"
  
• Rats began bribing stray cats for a snuggle.
  
• We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to keep warm.
  

(Source: www.jokes4us.com)                

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What do you call 50 penguins in the Arctic? LOST! Penguins live in Antarctica.

How do you keep from getting cold feet? Don't go around BRRRRR-footed.

How do Eskimos make their beds? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.

How does an Eskimo keep her house together? With igloo.

What's a snowman's favorite breakfast? Frosted Flakes.

What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.

What do women in the Arctic use to look younger? Cold cream.

What's an ig? An Eskimo's house without a loo.

What kind of Math do Snow Owls like? Owlgebra.

What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.

What time is is when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? Snow And Tell.


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“The snow doesn't give a soft, white damn whom it touches.” - E.E. Cummings


“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.” - Carl Reiner


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Lessons You Can Learn From A Snowman*

• It's fun to just unplug and hang out in your front yard.
  
• We're all made up mostly of water.
  
• The simplest accessories are the best.
  
• If you smile, even when you're not happy, it can help you to feel happy.
  
• Carrots are good for you.
  
• A little creativity (in how you build a snowman) is a positive thing.
  
• Always wear a scarf in the Winter.
  
• Don't get too much sun.
  
• Being a little bottom-heavy is okay.
  
• If you look down and can't see your feet, you're probably not active enough.
  

(*adapted from a piece found on http://www.athropolis.com)


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Thank you for reading!   And Happy Valentine's Day!  Do something special for yourself, whether you're single or attached, okay?  You deserve it!