Thursday, February 13, 2014

Snow Joke! Funnies To Warm You Up This Winter

"Knock-knock!  Knock-knock!  Why won't you say, "Who's there?'"

I'm struggling, seriously struggling, to find humor in this brutal Winter weather. So here are some jokes I'd like to share with you:

It Was So Snowy That...
  • UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii.
  • The squirrels in the park started throwing themselves at an electric fence.
  • Roosters began rushing into Popeye's Chicken to throw themselves in the fryer.
  • Children were using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom, my pajamas haven't thawed out yet!"
  • Rats began bribing stray cats for a snuggle.
  • We pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to keep warm.



What do you call 50 penguins in the Arctic? LOST! Penguins live in Antarctica.

How do you keep from getting cold feet? Don't go around BRRRRR-footed.

How do Eskimos make their beds? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.

How does an Eskimo keep her house together? With igloo.

What's a snowman's favorite breakfast? Frosted Flakes.

What do snowmen call their offspring? Chill-dren.

What do women in the Arctic use to look younger? Cold cream.

What's an ig? An Eskimo's house without a loo.

What kind of Math do Snow Owls like? Owlgebra.

What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark? Frostbite.

What time is is when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? Snow And Tell.


“The snow doesn't give a soft, white damn whom it touches.” - E.E. Cummings

“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.” - Carl Reiner

Lessons You Can Learn From A Snowman*

  • It's fun to just unplug and hang out in your front yard.
  • We're all made up mostly of water.
  • The simplest accessories are the best.
  • If you smile, even when you're not happy, it can help you to feel happy.
  • Carrots are good for you.
  • A little creativity (in how you build a snowman) is a positive thing.
  • Always wear a scarf in the Winter.
  • Don't get too much sun.
  • Being a little bottom-heavy is okay.
  • If you look down and can't see your feet, you're probably not active enough.

(*adapted from a piece found on


Thank you for reading!   And Happy Valentine's Day!  Do something special for yourself, whether you're single or attached, okay?  You deserve it! 

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