Having come from an aberrant family, I am acutely aware of how holidays can be a bit of a challenge. It seems like everyone else is celebrating in a certain way and those of us without family and, on Mother's Day, without mothers (or functional, caring mothers) are left out in the cold. So how can one acknowledge this special day when you don't have a loving mother around? Here are some ideas:
- Intellectually understand that your family is different. That may not be good or bad; it's just the reality of the situation. All the wishing in the world will not change that. Try to let it go.
- If you did have a loving mother who has died, you can take the time, on Mother's Day, to celebrate and reminisce about her life. Celebrate what you once had, perhaps by visiting a place that was special to her, eating her favorite food, or taking out a belonging of hers and really experiencing it via touch or smell.
- If you have a mother who is alive or, for whatever reason, from whom you are distant, understand that you are not alone. Many of us have family like that. For me, understanding that others feel like I do helps with loneliness this day can often bring on.
- Think back to your childhood and of a woman or two who made you feel special and loved. It could be another relative or a friend who was there to listen and support you. Contact her and thank her for being there. You don't have to wish her a happy Mother's Day, but you can thank her for her presence in your life, kind of a “thank you for being you” conversation.
- If you are a mother, take time to think about what it means to be one and resolve (as you probably have already) to be the best mother you can be to your kids.
- Choose to celebrate a mother figure. Perhaps Mother Earth, the Virgin Mary, or another famous mom (for a list, visit http://www.mothersdaycelebration.com/famous-moms-around-the-world.html). Think about what made or makes them special and consider whether you can incorporate some of those qualities into your own life.
- Do something special for yourself like buy yourself flowers or a special dinner. No matter what happened to your mom, you survived and are special.
Remember, too, that you don't HAVE to celebrate Mother's Day at all! It really is one of those greeting card holidays that serves commercialism more than individuals. Plus, by not celebrating, you're saving money that others are spending on this silly day.
For some fun and interesting sites about mothers, famous and infamous, check out the following:
- Corsinet.com (http://corsinet.com/braincandy/momtrivia.html) – This article has some fun trivia about mothers.
- ABCNews.Go.Com (http://abcnews.go.com/2020/infamous-convicted-alleged-mommy-murderers-infamous-cases-andrea/story?id=13956527) – A link to the Most Infamous Convicted And Alleged Mommy Murders In History, this article will make you feel lucky that you don't have one of these!
- ABCNews.Go.Com (http://abcnews.go.com/Health/MindMoodNews/mothers-psychologically-abuse-children-bad-sex-abusers-experts/story?id=10577646) – Another fascinating article on mean mothers and how they can scar you for life (as if you didn't already know).
Remember, this May 11th, CAN be just another Sunday in your life. It's your choice how you want to spend it.